Questa è Enida

I found them! Kengkawan lama. Barang yang lepas yang saya kenang-kenang. A part of the puzzle that made me ME. The Enida, la Enida. Come questa, come quella…si. Yesterday, I spoke with Ell whom I had not heard from since graduation. I did hear about him from some friends who suspected that Ell was ‘badly involved’ in the storm yang melanda Kota Marudu years ago. We all thought he didn’t make it, we all sent silent prayers. I prayed the hardest. My prayers were answered when he said “Hello!” yesterday.

Then this morning, I found Rozie. My search finally came to an end – puzzle solved. She’s seventeen days into her confinement period. Confined, but alive, kicking and laughing! Oh how I missed her and her forever-positive outlooks on life. I am looking forward to spending time with old pals now.

I am making another call now to the Head of HR of the MMC Oil & Gas Engineering located at the PNB Building, seen right across from my second bedroom. The kepala of HR there is one of my satu-kepala friends back in uni. Wish me luck though I don’t think I need any. Heee heee. I am smiling ear to ear.

For some reason, this old song came to mind:

Antara Benci dan Rindu

Yang…hujan turun lagi
Di bawah payung hitam kuberlindung
Yang…ingatkah kau padaku
Di jalan ini dulu kita berdua

Basah tubuh ini
Basah rambut ini
Kau hapus dengan sapu tanganmu

Yang…rindukah kau padaku
Tak inginkah kau duduk di sampingku
Kita bercerita tentang laut biru
Di sana harapan dan impian

Benci benci benci tapi rindu jua
Memandang wajah dan senyummu sayang
Rindu rindu rindu tapi benci jua
Bila ingat kau sakiti hatiku
Antara benci dan rindu di sini
Membuat mataku menangis

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Mimpi lagi.
And this afternoon reading and deleting old SMSs, found this piece in archive, unsent:

Sampai nanti,
langit hilang birunya,
samudera hilang gelora,
dan antara kita,
tak lagi
ada puisi;
baru hilang sesalku…
tak mengucup tanganmu.

June 1st, 2004,
Cherating.

Tiba-tiba terasa sayu.

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SMS Bibik all the way from Jakarta yesterday berbunyik begini:
“Bu, saya sudah sampai di pt. Tapi apa benar di potong gaji 4 bulan. Dan gajinya katanya 420 ringgit.”

Oh dear Bibik! She risau already, of which the kerisauan I down-calmed with this reply:
“Tak benar lah Bik. Itu kalau pembantu baru. Saya bayar kamu sama spt di Oman.”

For humanity’s sake, I have no intention to potong her gaji at all. Sending her back to Indramayu from Oman before her 2-year contract was up was our choice. Not hers. We chose and were chosen for this posting to Koala Lampa. And I knew about her financial plan – to save for her daughters’ (Dewi and Ita) school fees – they are bright kids. I couldn’t live with myself if I let my choice screw her plans. So I bekal her with over two-months salary for the wait in between Oman and Malaysia. And a bit extra for her to get a SIM card in Indonesia (I gave Be’s old Nokia phone to her, FOC maa).

Last week I went to Philimore Agency in PJ to kick off the paperwork process even though it might take another month before I can provide all the documents needed. Paid over 2 grands for the deposit (the remaining RM1500 is to be paid upon approval). (Just about a month ago, a friend was telling me, the Indonesian embassy changed the rules. She used to lodge the application personally to these embassies to sponsor a maid. But now, everyone has to go through an agent to do so.)

I didn’t know about this potong gaji deal until just two days ago when they kecoh-kecoh about employers not paying the maids for the first few months. That is despicable! It’s just beyond my comprehension. How can an employer ‘penalize’ her employee for taking up the employment? Like, okay…if you apply for a job, the remuneration is a potong-gaji for the first 4 months. Would YOU say “Great! What an opportunity! Take me! Take me!”

Of course you give your maid food and shelter. But how shallow if you think that’s all they need. If you CAN need a maid just because you think you are ‘entitled’ to one, then give them that 4 months gaji lah. What’s so unfair about that? Cakap kasar nye is, engkau yang sebok nak bermaid, ko tanggung lah dia. Kalau tak mampu, toksah berangan ler ada orang gaji. Eh…ku di dalam emosi ini pulak.

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Negative people and their negativity sure can bring you down, I tell you. I know I sound arrogant. But if you know me the way I know meself, you would say what I would say too. Like, isy baik nyer that lady kan? I say “thanks a lot” a lot. I smile a lot more than I should. Can’t help it, I have that smiley jaw as oppose to the chebik jaw. Original jaw, no cutting-cutting.

Got the tyres replaced today. The tyre guy was really trying to sell his scary stories – to get us to change the other two still-good tyres. But hey, a person doesn’t have to drive half a globe to know how far a half decent tyre can actually go before it explodes. Just because I am a woman driver doesn’t mean I can be taken for a ride. Piiiraaah! After the two hours wait for the I-don’t-know-why-they-had-to-specially-order-the-Michelin tyres, I was on the road again…to KLCC for lunch.

That was where I was touched by a kind gesture from a stranger. I sent my tai-lo’s to get some food for Kitty and me. The drinks came and of course Kitty HAD to spill. Tai-lo’s were still away and I couldn’t leave her at the table alone. When I was finally brave enough do so, there was no serviettes around! A lady from the table next to us handed a couple of Kleenexes. Awww…thanks a lot! I meant it. That was enough to make my day.

You see? It doesn’t take much to lift a person’s spirit. A simple touch of kindness. That’s all. I wish, instead of the nyenyenye SMS, my friend would have written: “U R pregnant? Oh, good news! Happy 4U! Congrats!” Tu lah dia, the negativity that brings you down. Well, mind ya…it was the same person who chebik her lips telling everybody that I bought my house cash. (She asked which bank had I gotten my loan with. My answer was, there was no loan. There! Twisties come in many shapes and forms, didn’t I say?)

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I have more ways to be sarcastic and bitchy than I can count my hair. Oh yes I do. Some people just have nothing nice to say, and some are downright pokey. Well, maybe I chose to feel poked this time. But as bitchy as I want to be, I still lah have to say that they just are pokey. The problem is they think their pokingness is their way of showing closeness, their terms of endearment of some sort.

The story morning glory is…I received an SMS from an old pan yau the other day. A bitchy one. I mean the SMS, not the person. She was in her ever menyindir mood, complaining that I hadn’t cared enough to call her since my so-grand-lah-konon arrival. I did, actually, to her old number. How was I supposed to know people’s updated cellphone numbers in this country, by the way?

Anyway, Poke #1…she nyenyenye about it in a sentence or two and gave no name at the end of it. To my cellphone, it was a new number – unrecognized. I kinda knew who it was because there was another piece of info after the nyenyenye that gave me a clue. So I asked if it was her, and sure enough it was. Within a day or two SMS’s went flying back and forth.

She asked me how I was doing and I said, ok despite my morning sickness and house-hunting blah blah blah. She said, huh? Pregnant again? Poke #2…like is this my eighth pregnancy or what? No congrats, nothin’! Just “gd, thn”. Pehhh, some people. And then she asked where I was stationed. It took me 24 hours to feel like replying. Even then, I just gave the info asked for.

Poke #3…she wasn’t happy as to how long it took me to respond to her SMS, and how one question led to only one answer. I wasn’t being creative lately, she accused. Fine, whatever. I don’t think creativity has anything to do with my answers. It’s priority. The last eight years I was home almost every year on holidays. Of course I had time to berhoyeh and to nyenyenye tanpa batasan.

But I am here to stay for at least four years, I have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. So, my priorities now are a place to call home, my Kitty and my incinta. I haven’t even picked an obstetrician yet. If I am not creative in my SMS replies (especially to the nyenyenye ones), then stuff them somewhere else lah please.

My CRV has two tyres to be replaced, I have an appointment to look at Anjung Damai and Ukay Heights properties this afternoon, and I am berlagak kaya, I am pregnant and I am bitchily cranky. That’s why I haven’t felt like replying to her SMS’s. Most things, not just some, are better left written on the blogs, not SMS’s.

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