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Like That Lah…

The reason why I went upstairs was just to get a triple A battery for my mouse. That was it. But it was then that I saw the Ikan Tongkol that I defrosted earlier in the evening to make Asam Pedas of. Tapi oleh kerana I had taken the kids to have a North Indian dinner at The Rolling Pin after Kitreena’s appointment with our South African chiropractor, Dr Boden, the tuna never made it to the pot.

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Nak tak nak, I set the triple A battery on the kitchen island sekejap and went for the bawang-bawang and the bunga kantan nan tiga kuntum to start menumis the Asam lah Pedas. Ngoseng-oseng and kelentung-kelentang and a pot of Asam Pedas Ikan Tongkol later, I knew I was so lah smelling worse than bawang that I went another floor up to pompom (that is mandi in Monchies baby-baby dictionary).

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While mandi-ing, I saw that the drain-hole filter could use some scrubbing. So scrubbing lah pulak sedikit sebanyak in the shower thinking that I really should get back to the office to tukar the battery of the mouse. The laundry that I started before going up to get the battery pun might be done and ready untuk diampai already.

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Sure enough, while I was on the way down from the shower to the kitchen to put away all the clean dishes, I heard the washing machine’s panggilan pulau song. Dishes away and the Asam Pedas Ikan Tongkol dah masuk dalam bekas to wait for it to cool and put away later, I made my way down to the laundry drying room.

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Black load out, colored load in, and white load all sprayed with bleach or Vanish… there I was mengampai laundry lah pulak. That done, I got into folding (mostly) towels and socks from the previous dried load. Terpandang lantai and got thinking, if I didn’t give it a sweep there and then, it would be dustier the next time I would do laundry, which is Saturday. So menyapu lah a bit, sementara rajin.

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Done sweeping, I took approximately 15 steps before arriving at Airwings’ office. It was when I sat at the computer to activate the screen that I realized that the triple A battery for the mouse was still upstairs, on the kitchen island where I left it before making the Asam Pedas Ikan Tongkol with Bunga Kantan 3 Kuntum, before doing the scrubbing job in the shower, and before doing the laundry.

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I went upstairs, grabbed the triple A battery, came back downstairs, changed the mouse’s battery and was going to do work exactly like I was supposed to, sebelum naik ke tingkat atas for the triple A battery in the first place. But it was then that I got to writing this entry. Sebab tiba-tiba terasa begitu multi-tasking.

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Lah sangat!

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multitasking.

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Heart

I simply heart you, love.

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Heard

Which of your hurtful stories have I not heard?
And which of your stories that I heard have I not hurt from?

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I am done listening to people demanding me to be a little less of myself, belittling my stories, denying my past. My root of a rose bush shall never grow into a forest of weeping willows.

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But mark my words. Thank me later.

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When I read Masaru Emoto’s RICE EXPERIMENT not too long ago, I didn’t see any pictures on the internet. I didn’t look. As much as I believe in my ability to mentally picture a lot of things I read, I took the whole rice experiment with a grain of salt.

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But when I visited a friend whom I had not met for 20 years, who successfully runs an international school and who took me to her school lab not knowing if I was aware of Masaru Emoto’s experiment, what I saw humbled me to the core. I thought I had read it all. I thought I had seen it all.

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The rice in the jar with the ‘I Love You’ label looked good. The rice in the jar with the ‘I Hate You’ label looked horrible.  Yeah, it was almost a cliché. But there was another jar with worse than horrible looking rice in it. Unlabelled. And I learned from Zaliza that the rice was not given any attention at all. Not spoken to, not touched. Nothing. And strangely, all I could think of at that very point was the line from Agnes Monica’s song: “Tak dianggap sama sekali.”

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Rice Experiment

Credit to: smt.blog.com/mari_diary.

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Driving all the way home from the visit that day, the image of the worse-than-horrible-looking rice kept playing in my mind. And that image has kept me praying… that I shall keep speaking to my children for as long as I could talk. That I shall keep holding my children’s hands for as long as I could walk. That I shall keep embracing my children for as long as I could. That I shall never ever love them in silence.

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That I shall keep praying for Enida…

Teruskan lah, teruskan lah… kau begitu.

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The Theory of Forever

It didn’t ideally start with an excitement of driving Monchies to school this morning, to be honest. I had missed the kids despite knowing they had fun walking from Sofia’s house who lives just across the road from school the day before, when I was in Singapore. I wish I could keep them at home to make up for yesterday. But there was something about our supposedly-routine drive to school today that awakened me and had not put me back to bed.

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I was quietly cursing the driver in front of us for signalling but didn’t inch in to our lane by the ‘which-planet-did-you-get-your-license-from-Pluto-or-something’ curse, when Kitreena was scolding her brother for finishing his previous day’s lunch money on a snack. I thought she wasn’t paying attention to my Italian-driving skills on Jalan Tun Nazak.

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Kitreena: Ma, Pluto is not a planet anymore. It’s a dwarf planet.
Mommy: Yeah, I know. See? Nothing lasts forever. Not even a fact!
Kitreena: What do you mean? They just discovered it.
Mommy: Pluto was a planet for… like, forever. It was a known fact. I was born to that fact. And I thought I was going to die knowing that for a fact Pluto was going to be a planet forever. But even that fact could be changed on us, you see. Just like a person you trust to be honest forever. To you, that is a fact. Until… the next thing you know, they change.
Kitreena: Ya. True lah, Ma. If facts can change, what more people.
Mommy: Yup, and that’s the thing about forever. It has its ‘until’.
Edrick: Hmmm… that’s new.

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IMG_4489

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Monchies and I agreed today that there is no such thing as forever. And that is a fact. For now.

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Like usual, it is a long wait for Kitreena to be ready in the morning for breakfast. Today is our 4th attempt to go out for brekky. The three previous attempts, sad to report, have successfully failed.

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In Cucina Mesra this morning as I was working on the modules to be sent to IPDM, Edrick walked in, rubbing his tummy…

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Edrick: Mom, I’m hungry.IMG_5530
Mommy: Me too!
Edrick: Are we going somewhere for breakfast?
Mommy: We’re trying.
Edrick: What do you want to eat?
Mommy: I want to eat a HORSE!
Edrick: Yeah! I’ll have a horse too!
Mommy: I want the biggest one on the menu, okay!
Edrick: Okay Mom, I’ll have the second biggest one.

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I asked Edrick to have some MILO while waiting. He’s fine now and that mug of MILO has saved the second biggest horse on the menu.

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I Thought I Saw

We seldom go shopping for clothes, Monchies and I. Whatever we have that we can wear, we wear them ’til they wear out. And even when they are all worn out, some clothes that we really love are worn out ’til they are torn up. I’m still having a tough time trying to justify why I am in the clothing business, considering how much I do not like shopping for new clothes.

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But the kids are tired of wearing Airwings Merchandise tops, I can tell. So, after Christmas I took them shopping. Kitreena was in dire needs for some ‘girls’ stuff. It was the best time to shop for clothes when everybody else had already spent their mulah prior to Christmas. Malls were quiet and everything was on sale sale sale!

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We had a great time shopping, Monchies and I. So great and so rare, that we were still talking about it a week after. When I picked them up at school one sunny afternoon, Kitreena wished we could go do it again.

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Mommy: But you got everything you wanted, didn’t you?
Kitreena: Not everything.
Mommy: What else did you want?
Kitreena: I wanted Daddy.
Mommy: Huh? Uh… sorry sayang, I can’t help you.
Kitreena: Hehehe…
Mommy: Not for sale. Not on sale.
Edrick: But wait, Mom! I thought I saw him on the shelves.
Mommy: Saw what?
Edrick: Daddy! At RM58.99.
Kitreena: *silent*
Mommy: *silent*
Edrick: *all smiles*

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When I finally got the joke, I broke out in a ROAR of laughter that made Edrick laugh…

Edrick: I haven’t made you laugh this big for a long time, Mom!
Mommy: I know! I just didn’t see it coming!
Kitreena: *tries not to laugh*
Mommy: But why RM58.99 and not RM60.00.
Edrick: That’s after discount.
Mommy: *roars some more*

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Kitreena went quiet in the back seat, and I let her take it easy and take what Edrick said as a joke to lighten up our day. But I did tell her that sunny afternoon, no matter how much we had, some things were just unattainable by money. Some things that were supposedly easy and ready… were the very same things that were not meant to be.

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