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Archive for the ‘Nostalgia’ Category

Some Times

When I heard the story about a tardy ruler from someone who had to wait for him, I was skeptical. But when thirty minutes dragged on to three hours, and the same tardiness seemed to be fashionable as it happened in three occasions within just two to three days… my heart bled blue. Oh how I wish the stories were not true.

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For days on end the stories disappointed me. Hearing more stories about the same ruler who is actually well known to have made people wait, somehow hurt the very core of my soul. I don’t understand why, and for some reason I was in denial. So much so that I went looking for the hukum of tardiness. Oh how I wish the rules were above the ruler.

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And then I remember Ustazah Khadijah who used to wait for my whole class to come back from the science lab to attend her Agama period at the end of the afternoon session. I, for one, used to drag my feet to her class until one gloomy late afternoon when she had enough of our tardiness and told us that God would be fair to those who make others wait.

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No matter how well we have served God and how kind we have been to people in this life, there is something about time that many will be denied heaven for, she reminded us. And that is if we are tardy. For punctuality is a promise. A trust. And one who breaks his or her promises of time purposely will be denied the best of the hereafter.

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“Tuhan dah janji dah. Tak tepati masa kat dunia ni, kat akhirat satni hangpa tunggu lah pulak sampai Dia redha kat hangpa baghu buleh masuk syurga. Tak keigha lah hang sapa kat dunia ni, hatta seorang raja.”

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Yes Today

Forty-Niner.

I once read…
“Write injuries in sand, kindnesses in marble.”

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I guess that’s why I write.

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And I was reminded of this unrelated children’s song:
In a cavern in a canyon,
excavating for a mine,
dwelt a miner forty-niner,
and his daughter, Clementine.

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One of Kitreena’s teddy bears is called Clementine.

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Kalau Padi…

I cook. But almost every time I say that I do cook, I get a funny look. A doubtful look. And it always comes down to my look. I don’t have the look of someone who cooks, or someone who even knows how to cook. So they say.

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And almost every time I get that funny, doubtful look from those who do not believe that I do cook or I do know how to cook… I feel the urge to prove that I don’t only cook, but I am a hardcore kampung cook. (People think I’m a city mouse.)

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I eat stinky things: petai, rebung, tempoyak, jeruk maman, you name it. I eat rotten preserved food as well: ikan pekasam, telur asin, kulat sisir, any moldy but edible food… I am bound to give it a try, and more often than not, will like it.

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What surprised me today, though, was not what I can eat or cook. It was my retained ability to use the kampung kitchen tool that I haven’t used for more than 30 years. I even have one at home — that I packed to Australia, Oman, Italy, Canada, Russia and back to Malaysia — for wall decor.

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There I was, at one corner of the anjung dapur, menampi beras pulut hitam destined to be bubur for our minum petang. And my mind was already busy thinking of the other traditional kitchen tool I have not used since I fled that fateful fire of Padang Masirat.

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I am on a quest for a good set of batu giling now.

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But Oh Beautiful

Mein shaayer to nahi
Mein shaayer to nahi
Magar aye haseen
Jab se dekha maine tujhko
Mujhko shaayeri aa gayee

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A poet I am not.
But oh beautiful!
Since I have seen you,
I know the art of poetry.

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Mein aashiq to nahi
Magar aye haseen
Jab se dekha maine tujhko
Mujhko aashiquee aa gayee

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A lover I am not.
But oh beautiful!
Since I have seen you,
I know how to love.

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Pyaar ka naam maine suna tha magar
Pyaar kya hai ye mujhko nahi thi khabar
Pyaar ka naam maine suna tha magar
Pyaar kya hai ye mujhko nahi thi khabar

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I had heard about love,
But I didn’t know what love is.

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Mein toh uljha raha uljhanon ki taraa
Doston mein raha dushmanon ki taraa

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I remained confused like an illusion.
I remained like an enemy even among my friends.

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Mein dushman to nahi
Magar aye haseen
Jab se dekha maine tujhko
Mujhko dosti aa gayee

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An enemy I am not.
But oh beautiful!
Since I have seen you,
I know what friendship is.

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Sochta hoon agar mein dua maangta
Haath apni uthaa kar mein kya maangta
Sochta hoon agar mein dua maangta
Haath apni uthaa kar mein kya maangta

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I wonder that had I prayed,
What would have I prayed for?

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Jab se tujhse mohabbat mein karne lagaa
Tab se jaise ibaadat mein karne lagaa

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Since I have started loving you,
It is as if I have started praying.

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Mein kaafir to nahi
Magar aye haseen
Jab se dekha maine tujhko
Mujhko bandagi aa gayee

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Faithless I am not.
But oh beautiful!
Since I have seen you,
I know how to pray.

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Dance Little Ladies, Dance!

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Christmas 2002, Calgary, with my beloved Meagan and my brand-new Kitreena.

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I Hope You Dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they’re worth taking
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth making

Don’t let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me you’ll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

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Tinggi Lagi Harapan Di Hati

Dari Hati Ke Hati

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Siapa?

Siapa Pernah Jatuh Cinta

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