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The Pheasant

ROAR!

Children’s Theater

27 & 28 January 2018

Kuash Theatre PKKKTB, TTDI

Ticket2u

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The funny thing about random writing is yes, I do it from the heart. It is usually about things I don’t have the heart to say outright. And not to the person I mean it for, at least. And then I would leave it for a while. Long enough for me to forget whom I write it for.
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This is one of them. And it is over a year old.
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I rediscovered it at Borders when I was copying important information from my 2017 Notebook to my 2018. Written way near the back page, it was probably my rambling early in the year, last year. Tapi itu lah… tak ingat untuk siapa.
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Now…
The good thing about random writing like this is that, it can end up being a reminder to your good old self. Perhaps my mantra this year should be, “Enida, sekali-sekala engkau perlu berhenti melayan dunia.”
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Some Times

When I heard the story about a tardy ruler from someone who had to wait for him, I was skeptical. But when thirty minutes dragged on to three hours, and the same tardiness seemed to be fashionable as it happened in three occasions within just two to three days… my heart bled blue. Oh how I wish the stories were not true.

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For days on end the stories disappointed me. Hearing more stories about the same ruler who is actually well known to have made people wait, somehow hurt the very core of my soul. I don’t understand why, and for some reason I was in denial. So much so that I went looking for the hukum of tardiness. Oh how I wish the rules were above the ruler.

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And then I remember Ustazah Khadijah who used to wait for my whole class to come back from the science lab to attend her Agama period at the end of the afternoon session. I, for one, used to drag my feet to her class until one gloomy late afternoon when she had enough of our tardiness and told us that God would be fair to those who make others wait.

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No matter how well we have served God and how kind we have been to people in this life, there is something about time that many will be denied heaven for, she reminded us. And that is if we are tardy. For punctuality is a promise. A trust. And one who breaks his or her promises of time purposely will be denied the best of the hereafter.

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“Tuhan dah janji dah. Tak tepati masa kat dunia ni, kat akhirat satni hangpa tunggu lah pulak sampai Dia redha kat hangpa baghu buleh masuk syurga. Tak keigha lah hang sapa kat dunia ni, hatta seorang raja.”

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Heart

I simply heart you, love.

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Heard

Which of your hurtful stories have I not heard?
And which of your stories that I heard have I not hurt from?

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I am done listening to people demanding me to be a little less of myself, belittling my stories, denying my past. My root of a rose bush shall never grow into a forest of weeping willows.

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But mark my words. Thank me later.

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Eventually…

I was ready to go for a nap when Captain Ana and I took Monchies out to see ‘Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Road Chip’ at TGV Sunway Putra a couple weeks ago. It is obvious I am not a fan of Alvin, although it was playing on repeat for many many months in my house when the first Alvin movie came out. I almost thought the kids have grown out of Alvin. Boy! I was wrong.

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And then I was wrong about another thing…
That was when I started to tear up hearing a line from Miles, “Dads are overrated. You’ll get over him leaving, eventually.”

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I found myself looking for a reaction from Kitreena. She looked at me, puckered her lips, shrugged her shoulders, smiled, looked away and then continued watching. It was then that my tears started rolling. And it was then that I knew for sure, I was raising a strong little lady.

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Se-Mentara

Kalau nak sangat sedih,
biar sedih betul-betul.
Sedih habis-habis.
Sebab sedih itu,
dalam sakit dan perih-payahnya,
sementara.

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Kalau nak sangat menangis,
biar menangis betul-betul.
Menangis habis-habis.
Sebab menangis itu,
dalam pedih dan bengkak-bengkilnya,
membasuh jiwa.

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Sedih lah. Menangis lah.
Penat sedih, penat menangis nanti, kita berhenti.
Letih sedih, letih menangis nanti, kita berdiri.

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Tak mati.IMG_5194
Ada masa lagi.

 

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*Enida
Mesra Terrace
15 Disember 2015

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