“Jangan sombong.
Di atas langit masih ada langit.
Hanya saja berkatnya berbeda.”
~Yelisna Zalukhu
Posts Tagged ‘Life’
Hanya Saja
Posted in Write On, tagged Life on April 27, 2026| Leave a Comment »
Dan Demi Pintu Ku Buka
Posted in Write On, tagged Life, Love, Monchies, Parenting on April 26, 2026| Leave a Comment »
Since 2010, the house rule was… to always keep the door behind us closed. So whenever we left our rooms, or went downstairs, all the doors on the third floor should be shut. Mine, the kids’ and the linen closet doors. The reason was the wind, initially. And when Cino came into the household, he was an add-on to the rule. All the more reason why the doors should remain closed. The wind and the moving bulu.
But April 20th 2026, these doors were left open. Cino had left the house a week earlier. And then Monchies followed suit. When I came home from the airport after midnight, I was too exhausted to notice. But the next morning, as I opened my door to go downstairs, I was instantly reminded of who and what that would not be walking through them again. Ever.
Things have changed since. And so will the rules.
Agi’ Idup
Posted in Write On, tagged Life on January 24, 2026| Leave a Comment »
Sabtu petang menjelang malam minggu adalah antara waktu-waktu paling mencabar untuk mendapatkan perkhidmatan Lalamove. Lebih-lebih lagi ke kawasan-kawasan ramai orang berkunjung dan bersukaria. Kawasan atas bukit, tak jauh dari langit.
Kita…
No different from the Lalamovers, fighting our own battles. For our needs are above and beyond all our wants. The struggles are real — some call it passion, the rest of us call it work.
This is not my life.
This is just me agi’ ngelaban.
Terbertas Waktu
Posted in Write On, tagged blog, Life, renungan, Syukur, Words, Writing on January 23, 2026| Leave a Comment »
Kata-kata, kalau aku bawak menulis, dah berhalaman-halaman kertas kajang dah ni. Margin pun penuh, inikan pulak header dan footer. But akal berkata, hold your tongue, Enida. Awasi lidahmu.
Emosi stabil, tak jadi hal. Cuma tidur tak nyenyak kebelakangan ini. Sudah lah tadi terpandang mesej lama ex-staf dengan staf supplier berkomplot buat barang ribu-ribu sorok-sorok. Tak marah. Bukti banyak. Lawyer pun banyak.
Tidur selalu terkejut-terkejut 4-5 malam ni. Macam jatuh dari Meryal water slide kat Lusail. Minda tak settled memikirkan putar belit suppliers yang lambat hantar tempahan kita. Nasib baik customer super cool sebab kita dah maklumkan awal-awal kita pun cuak buat barang dengan supplier pasir berdengung tu.
Tak baik kalau aku assume semua Pak-Pak Istan tu banyak auta. Tapi setiap kali aku minta tracking number, tiba-tiba dia accident motor lah, handphone pecah lah, mak dia meninggal lah, sepupu dia kahwin lah, duit payment kita dah habis dia buat beli lembu lah, business partner tipu bawak lari duit lah. Eh hello!
Kalau lepas ni dia buat drama gempa bumi, pokok tumbang atas bumbung rumah, air laut naik sampai paras bulu dada, airport terbakar, DHL kena samun atau bini dia baru jatuhkan talak tiga dalam satu nafas, kau rasa nak percaya ke lagi?
Prefrontal Cortex aku dah sarat dengan hal yang berat-berat. Jadi bila aku pakai baju kebarung tahun 1996 hari ni dan terpandang jahitan hujung lengannya dah terbuka (istilah mak aku ialah terbertas, istliah mak orang ialah tertetas)… aku rasa bersyukur atas banyak benda.
Lepas dah bersyukur barulah aku jelas hari ni nak makan apa. Mungkin kekusutan fikiran membuatkan aku tak boleh terjemah selera. Aku pun orderlah nasi dengan Ayam Masak Merah. Untuk malam karang aku order siap-siap nasi dengan Ayam Masak Kicap. Bila Abang Beruang datang hantar, rupanya penjual sedekahkan aku Ayam Masak Lemak Cili Api dengan Sambal Kentang lagi.
Maka nikmat Tuhan yang mana satukah hendak aku dustakan, kan?
Aku malah kagum dengan ayam-ayam semua yang pandai masak.
Life’s Lemon Tea
Posted in Hurt, tagged Life on October 24, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Have you ever drunk that perfect hot lemon tea when the heat is just perfect, and the tang is just perfect, and the life you’re drinking the lemon tea to is just perfectly painful you feel like drinking your whole life into nothingness as you empty that perfect teacup?
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It would not have been a perfect tea without some water boiled, some lemons sliced, some tea leaves plucked, and some clay burned.
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And for me to think all these when I was sipping on my perfect Hot Lemon Earl Grey Tea at Delicious @ Dua Residence on a beautiful sunny morning when everything was (supposedly) going well? Not good, Enida. Not good at all. Be grateful.
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For You
Posted in Hurt, Mom, tagged Life on October 7, 2010| 1 Comment »
For if only you could see me now, you would move my hands away from my face, wipe the tears away from my eyes, and take the pain away from my heart.
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For if you could hold me in your arms tonight, your heart would break too. For me.
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I’m Keeping It
Posted in Sense, tagged Lesson, Life on October 4, 2010| 1 Comment »
You know how it works with the mind, don’t you? That when we want something so much, so badly… we tell ourselves that we need it. And even after finding out that it isn’t really what we want or need, we tell ourselves we need to ‘finish’ it. We search for reasons. We make excuses.
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At the end of it all, we want to avoid saying, “We didn’t try.” So we keep pushing for the next level. Up or down. We keep hanging on. We keep climbing, saying it is the climb that matters. For whatever it is, we have this profound need in finding proof that it’s worth it. Worth finding. Worth trying. Worth keeping. Or worth letting go.
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And then we make up stories to tell none other than our gullible little self that we need to hurt in order to heal. Some of us hurt others. The rest of us hurt ourselves. We contain that pain as deeply as we want to contain joy. And we list down all the choices we made that have led us to the final chosen pain.
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More often than not we play the blame game. We lose, we lose. We win, we still lose. We’ll never put back the clock. Nor will we ever walk backwards pretending that we haven’t gone through what we have gone through.
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At the end of the day, it is the climb – and its hurdles, and its steepness, and the height, and the challenges, and the tears, and the sweat, and the blood. And everything else in between finding it and quitting it. Whatever it is.
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And whatever it is I look for… I actually find it everyday. It’s just a matter of keeping it.
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The faith.
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Sampai Merajuk
Posted in Sense, tagged Life on September 30, 2010| 2 Comments »
Tiba-tiba terasa merajuk hati dengan dunia. I love my life, no question about it. But when so many things go wrong because they can go wrong, and I can’t say, “Don’t go wrong!”, it hurts my feelings. Merajuk betul hati saya.
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Bibik belum sampai. The delay has been a week! Saya kecewa, marah dan merajuk dengan Khalimah kerana tak tepati janji. Uangnya udah saya bayar penuh sebelum lebaran Buk. Gimana nih?
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Monchies semakin nakal. And I am too tired to speak gently. Tapi bila saya terpekik-pekik, saya tambah letih. Tekak pun sakit. Sia-sia. Saya merajuk dengan Monchies dan kepenatan saya sendiri.
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Shipment dari Moscow belum sampai dan kaki saya terasa lebih dari gatal untuk berlari. I am exhausted, but I know if I run… I get back the energy. Saya merajuk dengan Lancang Kuning belayar malam terlalu perlahan. Roar roarrr Rasputin!
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I had a loved one who didn’t love me enough to ask me to stay. So I left my loved one and I left love. I am now loveless. Saya merajuk dengan cinta dan dunia. Kerana cinta itu entah-entah tak pernah ada. Saya yang terlalu percaya. Bukankah hidup kita akhirnya harus bahagia? Bahagiakah saya? Ohh!
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Saya ada Facebook dan 285 orang kawan di sana. But I am getting so up-to-the-nose with those who claim to be my friends but ‘hog’ other friends of mine, tell me lies and act vulnerable for the reason known only to them. Terasa seperti hendak berkata, “Come on lah, you think I am desperate like you, izzit?” Saya merajuk dengan beberapa orang di Facebook yang so lah fake.
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And then, there’s another friend whom I have known for a while, out of nowhere asked me to only send her SMS’s if it is important because she’s a busy woman. And the deal is, she will give me a call if she receives a text message from me that she deems important. Hah? Begitu rupanya friendship kita? Mulalah rasa nak nyanyi lagu Adam Lambert nih! Saya merajuk dengan friendship begitu. Apakah?
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Kitreena doesn’t like the new school all that much. She feels that she is an ‘Either-Or’ and most of the time she is a ‘Neither-Nor’. Fitting-in is still a challenge. And the teachers are not as friendly and loving as those at Anglo-American school di Bukit Pokrovsky. Saya merajuk dengan sekolah Jalan Ampang itu kerana saya tahu anak saya bercakap benar tentang ini.
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Hari ini saya sakit kepala memikirkan dunia. Ya, dunia yang sama yang saya merajuk hati dengan. Mujurlah saya kelilingi diri saya dengan orang-orang yang betul-betul ikhlas menerima saya seperti:
- my KaCher (for all the support. All!)
- my Lil Sis (for worrying with me about Bibik and Romsiah)
- my brothers (for washing my car, picking up my CRaVy’s spare keys, for looking for my slippers, for running my errands, for everything!)
- Aunty Halimah and her daughter Noraini Rajudin (for the special Kuey Teow, Kue raya tapau and the two little kittens that have been named ‘Kitreena’ and ‘Edrick’)
- Tuan Nor (for the admiration, the kebangsawanan, and the ‘Panas dingin hatiku, hanya Tuhan yang tahu’ saying!)
- Ida Bakar (for the yummylicious Mee Kuah, Popiah and ‘The Sosilawaty Lawiya Last Trail Tour of Banting’ and Fish Tour in Kelanang)
- Shareen Ameen-Fors (for the gift of new friendship together with her family, Noah, Bisha, Aunty and Uncle. Loved the python story! And dialysis has given me a new meaning and appreciation)
- Lisa Lish Johari (for the positive outlook and support towards Enida Consultancy & Services. Brilliant ideas! What should we name our cafe?)
- Rosmadewi Razali (for a cozy friendship, the throaty laughter and the restaurant bill that went up to RM3,000.00 in our imagination. What a hantu you make me!)
- Chin Neoh (for the bahasa conversation yesterday and the Cantonese refreshers I am going to get this Friday morning while we gallivant di Tempat Biasa! You are my Jack Daniels on the rock, bebeh!)
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Haruskah saya terus merajuk dengan dunia?
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Even When Money Grows On Trees, I Will Still Ask Who Planted It
Posted in Culture, Sense, tagged Life, Parenting on September 17, 2010| 2 Comments »
…in my books, 11 years old girls are just too young to own a handphone…even if you have enough duit raya to buy one yourself…wait till you’re 21 ok…public phone got what?????…
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Nina, my dear Facebook Friend, put up a status that got me thinking today.
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My initial response was: “I told my Monchies, until they have a steady job to pay the monthly bill, they have no rights to ‘luxury’.”
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And then I got thinking, that as parents we always try to compensate for the very thing we cannot give our kids. Time. We buy them cellphones, for instance, with the excuse that in emergency situations they can call us easily. Or even in non-emergency situations, it enables us to communicate with our kids worry-free.
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But in any situation, do we really communicate with our children? Do we listen to them? The phone enables us to hear them, yes. But can they really talk to us, heart to heart, on the phone and off the phone? Do we take time to communicate with them?
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Also, as parents, every time we buy our kids something ‘big’, we justify the purchase with, “Oh when I was your age, my parents could not afford this. But now at YOUR age, I can. So I get it. So you get it.”
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But then again, I got thinking…what would our kids say to their kids? And the thought scared me as I realized that luxury can do a lot of damage to character building. How are we going to teach them to be humble when they are so used to having everything? And not just everything, but everything NICE.
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As cliche as it may sound, “If it is too easy, it never lasts.” my mother was right. And so I am sticking to my principle that, unless you earn it, you don’t deserve it.
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And that is also MY reason for not believing in this Duit Raya custom. I apologize if it offends those who take it as a charity. But I see it as a way of teaching our children to have unrealistic expectations. We do not give money for nothing, nor do we get money for ‘free’. Being a good person is not something that you get paid for. Well, not in this life anyway.
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Me Monchies have been asking why they are given money on Hari Raya. Other than saying that it is the culture of and custom for Hari Raya, I do tell them that it is a ‘donation’. Kitreena is happy to receive Duit Raya, but she has been asking, “Mom, I am not an orphan and I am not poor. But why do I get donation?” So I told her, that people just feel like ‘giving’. And like usual, she always has the last why.
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Anyway, the way I raise my Monchies, I want them to see that money is earned. That’s the reality for us adults, and that’s the way reality should be for children. Otherwise, I should expect Duit Raya from my family, friends, foes, and those Dunkin Donuts‘ cashiers at Ikano.
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Semoga…
Posted in Sense, tagged Life on September 8, 2010| 8 Comments »
Dengan rasa rendah hati dan penuh penghargaan, saya mengucapkan ribuan terima kasih bagi pihak Virgo Batik Resort, Lumut, kepada:
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- Dzulfitri Yusoff,
- Danial Jazmy Jamzuri
- Amirudin Dunia
- Imillya Irwani Roslan dan Syed Yaamin
- Isma Zuriyya Ismail dan Mazli Abd Rahman
- Hafiza Sanusi
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… diatas sumbangan ikhlas teman-teman saya ini menjayakan Majlis Berbuka Puasa bersama Warga Kompleks Manabi’ul Ulum, Madrasah Batu 10, Lekir, Perak, yang telah berlangsung dengan jayanya pada 5hb September 2010.
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Although you were not with us at Virgo Batik Resort that night, given the short notice and the long distance, I am happy to ‘report’ that your love was there among the smiling faces of Anak-Anak Yatim, Warga Emas dan Golongan Kurang Berkemampuan.
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Tak terganti penghargaan saya ini dengan sekadar ungkapan Terima Kasih. Doa saya semoga Tuhan memberkati usaha dan sumbangan kita. InsyaAllah.
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