Questa è Enida

Tiba-tiba terasa merajuk hati dengan dunia. I love my life, no question about it. But when so many things go wrong because they can go wrong, and I can’t say, “Don’t go wrong!”, it hurts my feelings. Merajuk betul hati saya.

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Bibik belum sampai. The delay has been a week! Saya kecewa, marah dan merajuk dengan Khalimah kerana tak tepati janji. Uangnya udah saya bayar penuh sebelum lebaran Buk. Gimana nih?

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Monchies semakin nakal. And I am too tired to speak gently. Tapi bila saya terpekik-pekik, saya tambah letih. Tekak pun sakit. Sia-sia. Saya merajuk dengan Monchies dan kepenatan saya sendiri.

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Shipment dari Moscow belum sampai dan kaki saya terasa lebih dari gatal untuk berlari. I am exhausted, but I know if I run… I get back the energy. Saya merajuk dengan Lancang Kuning belayar malam terlalu perlahan. Roar roarrr Rasputin!

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I had a loved one who didn’t love me enough to ask me to stay. So I left my loved one and I left love. I am now loveless. Saya merajuk dengan cinta dan dunia. Kerana cinta itu entah-entah tak pernah ada. Saya yang terlalu percaya. Bukankah hidup kita akhirnya harus bahagia? Bahagiakah saya? Ohh!

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Saya ada Facebook dan 285 orang kawan di sana. But I am getting so up-to-the-nose with those who claim to be my friends but ‘hog’ other friends of mine, tell me lies and act vulnerable for the reason known only to them. Terasa seperti hendak berkata, “Come on lah, you think I am desperate like you, izzit?” Saya merajuk dengan beberapa orang di Facebook yang so lah fake.

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And then, there’s another friend whom I have known for a while, out of nowhere asked me to only send her SMS’s if it is important because she’s a busy woman. And the deal is, she will give me a call if she receives a text message from me that she deems important. Hah? Begitu rupanya friendship kita? Mulalah rasa nak nyanyi lagu Adam Lambert nih! Saya merajuk dengan friendship begitu. Apakah?

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Kitreena doesn’t like the new school all that much. She feels that she is an ‘Either-Or’ and most of the time she is a ‘Neither-Nor’. Fitting-in is still a challenge. And the teachers are not as friendly and loving as those at Anglo-American school di Bukit Pokrovsky. Saya merajuk dengan sekolah Jalan Ampang itu kerana saya tahu anak saya bercakap benar tentang ini.

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Hari ini saya sakit kepala memikirkan dunia. Ya, dunia yang sama yang saya merajuk hati dengan. Mujurlah saya kelilingi diri saya dengan orang-orang yang betul-betul ikhlas menerima saya seperti:

• my KaCher (for all the support. All!)

• my Lil Sis (for worrying with me about Bibik and Romsiah)

• my brothers (for washing my car, picking up my CRaVy’s spare keys, for looking for my slippers, for running my errands, for everything!)

• Aunty Halimah and her daughter Noraini Rajudin (for the special Kuey Teow, Kue raya tapau and the two little kittens that have been named ‘Kitreena’ and ‘Edrick’)

• Tuan Nor (for the admiration, the kebangsawanan, and the ‘Panas dingin hatiku, hanya Tuhan yang tahu’ saying!)

• Ida Bakar (for the yummylicious Mee Kuah, Popiah and ‘The Sosilawaty Lawiya Last Trail Tour of Banting’ and Fish Tour in Kelanang)

• Shareen Ameen-Fors (for the gift of new friendship together with her family, Noah, Bisha, Aunty and Uncle. Loved the python story! And dialysis has given me a new meaning and appreciation)

• Lisa Lish Johari (for the positive outlook and support towards Enida Consultancy & Services. Brilliant ideas! What should we name our cafe?)

• Rosmadewi Razali (for a cozy friendship, the throaty laughter and the restaurant bill that went up to RM3,000.00 in our imagination. What a hantu you make me!)

• Chin Neoh (for the bahasa conversation yesterday and the Cantonese refreshers I am going to get this Friday morning while we gallivant di Tempat Biasa! You are my Jack Daniels on the rock, bebeh!)

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Haruskah saya terus merajuk dengan dunia?

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