Questa è Enida

When someone asked me what I would want for my birthday this year, I was quick to respond that I would want to spend it in Taiping again. Just like what I did with my Monchies last year. And then I rambled on saying oh I pray for my health and wealth and the usual gobbledegooks. Not really thinking. For myself.

Then the same question was repeated, “What do you want for your birthday?”

I went quiet. I fell silent. I didn’t know what to want, let alone what to say. I was almost painfully sad and glad all at once to realize, “Really? Can I want?” And I ended up saying, “You know, I have not been asked what I want for my birthday for many many years. I can’t think of any.”

Of course the kids have asked. With Monchies, every day was my birthday, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, their birthdays. Every single day was a special day. We asked one another all the time. Every day. But in all honesty, I had not been asked by another adult, twice, within twenty minutes, about what I wanted for myself on my birthday! I had the right, but I remained silent.

Really, can I want?

Ten Days Later…
I have not answered the question. I am still thinking. I am still waiting for me to come home from being gone a long time.

Thank you for waiting with me.