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Posts Tagged ‘Lesson’

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Kehadapan Abang yang Ida sayangi,
Ida tau Abang takkan baca surat Ida ni sampai Abang dah selesai kerja. Walaupun Abang jumpa surat ni terselit celah pocket laptop Abang awal-awal pagi. Ida tau Abang tak suka confrontation, tak suka complication. Siap buat aksi macho lagi malam tadi tidur pakai sleeping bag depan TV. Pastu buat-buat pejam mata konon dah tidur bila Ida pasang ubat nyamuk letak kat tepi kaki Abang. Nyampah!

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Abang tersayang… yerrr still lah sayang!
Kali ni, buat julung-julung dan jarang-jarang kali nya Ida mengaku Ida salah. Memang Ida ikut hati. Memang Ida over-reacting, over-acting dan Ida over melenting. Dan puncanya memang Ida berjauh hati dengan Abang. Tapi Ida tak nak jadikan itu alasan. Ida dah mengaku Ida yang bersalah. End of story.

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Dengan ini, Ida mohon ampun dan maaf sewangi daun pandan yang Abang letak dalam Sago Gula Melaka yang Abang buat dengan seriousnya minggu lepas, sampai tak bagi Ida masuk dapur. Ida mohon ampun dan maaf dengan hati yang bersih, sebersih kereta Ida yang Abang basuh berjam-jam lamanya sambil pasang lagu Randy Travis ‘I Told You So’ tu kuat-kuat sebab nak perli Ida.

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Randy Travis – I Told You So

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Ida tau Abang marah, disappointed. Tapi Ida harap Abang tak marah lama-lama. Ida tak biasa tidur dengan lima bantal. Nak kena enam jugak. Bila Abang marah, Ida tak ada ilham nak menulis. Sebab tu kena tulis surat ni dulu selitkan dalam bag laptop Abang sebelum Abang bangun pagi. Semalaman Ida menulis dalam gelap, punyalah tak nak Abang perasan Ida mengarang surat mohon maaf secara terbuka, jujur dan ikhlas ni sambil bercucuran airmata. Ida tak lalu makan bila Abang marah, pegi La Cucur pun minum air suam je sambil duduk bawah escalator mengarang pantun.

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Abang yang Ida kasihi…
Dengan hati yang tulus lagi mulus, Ida akhiri surat penuh sesalan Ida ni dengan serangkap pantun khas untuk Abang tercinta.

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Tegap kukuh pohon cempaka,
di anjung pintu teduhkan pagi;
Sedap sungguh Sago Melaka,
di hujung minggu buatkan lagi.

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Salam peluk cium bantal untuk Abang. Sila jangan cemburukan bantal yang Ida tiduri malam tadi ya? Siapa yang beralih kasih kepada sleeping bag lagipun? Naaahh, nyaman rasa tek tido dibaham nyamok.  Meski pun yang demikian bak kata Cik Nan, whatever cinta is… I cinta you.

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Salam cium tangan Abang,
Ida Nerina

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I’m Keeping It

You know how it works with the mind, don’t you? That when we want something so much, so badly… we tell ourselves that we need it. And even after finding out that it isn’t really what we want or need, we tell ourselves we need to ‘finish’ it. We search for reasons. We make excuses.

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At the end of it all, we want to avoid saying, “We didn’t try.” So we keep pushing for the next level. Up or down. We keep hanging on. We keep climbing, saying it is the climb that matters. For whatever it is, we have this profound need in finding proof that it’s worth it. Worth finding. Worth trying. Worth keeping. Or worth letting go.

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And then we make up stories to tell none other than our gullible little self that we need to hurt in order to heal. Some of us hurt others. The rest of us hurt ourselves. We contain that pain as deeply as we want to contain joy. And we list down all the choices we made that have led us to the final chosen pain.

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More often than not we play the blame game. We lose, we lose. We win, we  still lose. We’ll never put back the clock. Nor will we ever walk backwards pretending that we haven’t gone through what we have gone through.

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At the end of the day, it is the climb – and its hurdles, and its steepness, and the height, and the challenges, and the tears, and the sweat, and the blood. And everything else in between finding it and quitting it. Whatever it is.

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And whatever it is I look for… I actually find it everyday. It’s just a matter of keeping it.

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The faith.

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What Lies Beneath

I can handle lies. What I cannot handle is liars trying to convince that their lies are the best truth around.

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C’mon lah.

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On The Road Again

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If happiness was the destination, I would sell my soul to be on the fastest way there. But I learned that happiness is the journey itself. I have to hit the road. And still it buys no souls.

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Berhenti

Sabtu, 22 Mei, 2010: 1332hrs – Palmyra, WA

Cik Nid: Saya yang dulu nakal ni, yang tak reti bahasa setia ni, sebab ingatkan sungguhlah sayang, sungguhlah cinta… dok tunggu, dok tatang, dok setia. Tak pandang orang lain dah. Tak layan orang lain dah. Punyalah! Sudahnya, cinta, setia, sayang… apa ertinya Cik Nan?

Cik Nan: Hmmmm…

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Sabtu, 22 Mei, 2010: 1455hrs – Booragoon, WA

Cik Nid: Yang ini, saya tak nak sayang, tak nak tunggu, tak nak berharap. Tapi dalam pada saya tak nak sayang, dia belai. Dalam pada tak tunggu, dia datang. Dalam tak berharap, dia ada. Apa ertinya ni semua Cik Nan?

Cik Nan: Mestikah mencari erti?

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Enida pun tiba-tiba berhenti mencari erti.

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Change Change Changed

The last visit to Calgary, for me, was between November 2006 and January 2007. So this visit, over three years later is to see a changed woman. A changed-for-the-much-better woman who now knows how to take. I am done giving.

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So give me, Questa è Enida, a big applaud… tuan-tuan, puan-puan sidang pembaca sekalian. Yes, termasuklah Puan Shower Cap yang membaca. Ahak ahak! Sepertilah tidak ku tahu ya?

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I was young and stupid too, once. But I was done being stupid at 26. I suppose some people just began being. Bah!

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Less On

Lesson Number 1

Enida, please have a cup of coffee before taking the Monchies to school. The other day, you really made yourself sound like one of those who solo parlano poco Inglés when you spoke to the Dutch lady who introduced her son to Edrick as Dillan and on behalf of Edrick you said, “Hi Villain!” Bad move, Enida, bad move! On mornings when you have not had your caffeine, just let Edrick do the talking.

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Lesson Number 2

When you do have a cup of Vivalto Lungo before walking the Monchies to school, keep your eyes peeled when you walk by the Sled Slope on your way home. Your daughter might still be there playing with Tia at ten after the bell. Your Monchies are no angels. They’re kids. If they’re not naughty once in a while, they are no good. They would make parenting too easy. And easy is no fun.

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Lesson Number 3

Just because you brush your teeth twice a day and floss every other day, you are not guaranteed to be safe from cavities. When you are rotting, you’re rotting. Be thankful it’s just your teeth, or maybe later your bones. Not your morality. So two visits to the dentist can buy you that Lattissima Nespresso Machine, so what? If you can’t enjoy your coffee, what can you?

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Lesson Number 4

Stop pulling your gray hair out. You’d be bald in two weeks if you don’t stop today. Or tomorrow.

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Lesson Number 5

Make the bed as soon as you jump out of it. If you don’t, more often than not you’ll jump back in as soon as your kids are out of the house.

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Lesson Number 6

Enida, please remember not to leave the adaptor for the three square prongs on the washing machine. Your helper might think you forgot about it and she might take it home. When you call her to ask if she had removed it from where you put it last, she would say that she would come over to look for it and find it for you – she doesn’t understand what you mean by, “I’ve looked everywhere 12 times and a half!”. And she would come when you are not home and make it look like she had found it and could not explain where she found it 15 minutes after she found it.

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Lesson Number 7

Do not wait until tomorrow morning what you can do tonight. Pack those lunchboxes with what you can prepare the night before. Wake up! You are not a morning person. Stop denying that you are not in denial as well. How would you explain that you forgot to pack the kids’ lunchbox until just before you stepped out to walk them to school this morning, then? You were lucky there was Smoked Salmon Linguini leftover you made the other night, and mandarin oranges you grabbed at Tsum Gastronomia for the kids’ quick snack. You can’t grab luck every morning when you forget or when you don’t wake up early enough. Can you?

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