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This Far

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I wasn’t overly sure what exactly the highlight of the wedding I attended today was. The food at the reception at Sahara Tent, Shah Alam, was one of the most delicious of Arabic meals I have had ever since the feast in the tent at Al Bustan Palace, Muscat in 2005, maybe? I ate. Oi! For eating’s sake, I ate! It is my third week of no-carb diet. But today was the big cheat day, I’d say.

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When Delynne said it was going to be a small wedding, I knew it was going to be beautiful, nonetheless. But I didn’t expect ME to be so emotional. I was in tears whenever I saw the bride and groom. And on the way home, Kitreena said something that made me come to my senses. The feeling was so intense and beautiful in the same time, I vowed to live long to see Monchies’ turn.

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The other highlight was the ‘gift boxes’ everyone received. Each contains candies and a piece of paper with a printed quote. All thoughtfully numbered (always trust Delynne to come up with something as mindful as that). I loved the idea so much, I told Kitreena and Edrick to start collecting their favorite quotes from now!

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To Delynne and Syazwan…
Have a wonderful journey together full of adventure, laughter, lessons and above all, love. There will be times when you stumble or even fall, and feel as though you were going nowhere. And there will be times when you feel that you are alone in your togetherness. Reach out and hold each other’s hand then, embrace the growing pain and know it is all worth it. You two have come this far.

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And as I was writing the previous paragraph, I realized why I have always loved small weddings. Mine, in Auckland on June 19th seventeen years ago… was one.

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Encik: Baju tu guna kain apa?Pelikat
Enida: Baju tu guna kain pelikat buruk bapak saya.
Encik: Hah?
Enida: Kalau tak selesa kami guna kain lap pinggan.
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[Jawapan dalam hati hanya nampak di status FB.]

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.Photo credit: kealambarzakh.wordpress.com

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Sering

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Yang sering hilang di antara mata pena dan kegilaanku adalah waktu.

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Handwriting

Like That Lah…

The reason why I went upstairs was just to get a triple A battery for my mouse. That was it. But it was then that I saw the Ikan Tongkol that I defrosted earlier in the evening to make Asam Pedas of. Tapi oleh kerana I had taken the kids to have a North Indian dinner at The Rolling Pin after Kitreena’s appointment with our South African chiropractor, Dr Boden, the tuna never made it to the pot.

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Nak tak nak, I set the triple A battery on the kitchen island sekejap and went for the bawang-bawang and the bunga kantan nan tiga kuntum to start menumis the Asam lah Pedas. Ngoseng-oseng and kelentung-kelentang and a pot of Asam Pedas Ikan Tongkol later, I knew I was so lah smelling worse than bawang that I went another floor up to pompom (that is mandi in Monchies baby-baby dictionary).

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While mandi-ing, I saw that the drain-hole filter could use some scrubbing. So scrubbing lah pulak sedikit sebanyak in the shower thinking that I really should get back to the office to tukar the battery of the mouse. The laundry that I started before going up to get the battery pun might be done and ready untuk diampai already.

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Sure enough, while I was on the way down from the shower to the kitchen to put away all the clean dishes, I heard the washing machine’s panggilan pulau song. Dishes away and the Asam Pedas Ikan Tongkol dah masuk dalam bekas to wait for it to cool and put away later, I made my way down to the laundry drying room.

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Black load out, colored load in, and white load all sprayed with bleach or Vanish… there I was mengampai laundry lah pulak. That done, I got into folding (mostly) towels and socks from the previous dried load. Terpandang lantai and got thinking, if I didn’t give it a sweep there and then, it would be dustier the next time I would do laundry, which is Saturday. So menyapu lah a bit, sementara rajin.

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Done sweeping, I took approximately 15 steps before arriving at Airwings’ office. It was when I sat at the computer to activate the screen that I realized that the triple A battery for the mouse was still upstairs, on the kitchen island where I left it before making the Asam Pedas Ikan Tongkol with Bunga Kantan 3 Kuntum, before doing the scrubbing job in the shower, and before doing the laundry.

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I went upstairs, grabbed the triple A battery, came back downstairs, changed the mouse’s battery and was going to do work exactly like I was supposed to, sebelum naik ke tingkat atas for the triple A battery in the first place. But it was then that I got to writing this entry. Sebab tiba-tiba terasa begitu multi-tasking.

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Lah sangat!

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multitasking.

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Heart

I simply heart you, love.

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Heard

Which of your hurtful stories have I not heard?
And which of your stories that I heard have I not hurt from?

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I am done listening to people demanding me to be a little less of myself, belittling my stories, denying my past. My root of a rose bush shall never grow into a forest of weeping willows.

.weeping-willow

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But mark my words. Thank me later.

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When I read Masaru Emoto’s RICE EXPERIMENT not too long ago, I didn’t see any pictures on the internet. I didn’t look. As much as I believe in my ability to mentally picture a lot of things I read, I took the whole rice experiment with a grain of salt.

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But when I visited a friend whom I had not met for 20 years, who successfully runs an international school and who took me to her school lab not knowing if I was aware of Masaru Emoto’s experiment, what I saw humbled me to the core. I thought I had read it all. I thought I had seen it all.

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The rice in the jar with the ‘I Love You’ label looked good. The rice in the jar with the ‘I Hate You’ label looked horrible.  Yeah, it was almost a cliché. But there was another jar with worse than horrible looking rice in it. Unlabelled. And I learned from Zaliza that the rice was not given any attention at all. Not spoken to, not touched. Nothing. And strangely, all I could think of at that very point was the line from Agnes Monica’s song: “Tak dianggap sama sekali.”

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Rice Experiment

Credit to: smt.blog.com/mari_diary.

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Driving all the way home from the visit that day, the image of the worse-than-horrible-looking rice kept playing in my mind. And that image has kept me praying… that I shall keep speaking to my children for as long as I could talk. That I shall keep holding my children’s hands for as long as I could walk. That I shall keep embracing my children for as long as I could. That I shall never ever love them in silence.

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That I shall keep praying for Enida…

Teruskan lah, teruskan lah… kau begitu.

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