Questa è Enida

It was extra chewy trying to get me Monchies to bed tonight. Yes, chewy! I truly felt like biting on their tooshies and kept on chewing on them just for the fun of it! We went from the usual bedtime, 2030 to 2130hrs. And then from 2130 to 2245hrs of me trying to let them have fun a little; one dancing her ballet and the other singing his blues.

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But kids do what kids do well. They keep on pushing your limit to see what they can get most out of pushing. So, when the clock struck 2245hrs, I burst and turned into a teapot! One hand on the waist and the other swinging a  swatter! I was hoping I could just swat them to bed. But getting them to the sink to brush their teeth was as hard if not harder than  getting a bull to the slaughterhouse! Two bulls.

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After all the bellowing and yellowing, towel-picking, face-n-feet-wiping, I was finally successful in getting my little man to stand on the stool for his teeth-brushing. He was still busy with “Ow-ow-ow-hang-on-Mommy-I-have-tell-you-sumfing” sentences when I lost my patience and gave him the ‘jegil’ I inherrited from my Mom. (jegil = to bulge out one’s eyes as to intimidate, scare, or swallow kids, scaredy husbands cats, ghosts or the whole solar system).

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Edrick: Mommy, Mommy… ow ow ow! Hang on Mommy. I have to tell you sumfing, I have to tell you sumfing!

Mommy: *sighs, takes a deep breath, rolls her eyes and gives the ‘Whaaaaaat?’ motion*

Edrick: I just… I just… ummm… I just have to tell you this sumfing, Mommy.

Mommy: *scratches her neck, takes another deep breath, rolls her eyes and surprisingly just waits*

Edrick: I just wanna tell you you’re… beautiful, Mom.

Mommy: *changes from a teapot to tea*

Edrick: You are always beautiful in the morrrrning. When you put your perfume on, you smell beautiful. And you shine. That’s all I have to tell you.

Mommy: *cries*

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I could not believe what I heard, so instead of chewing me Monchies tooshies, I ended up chewing my heart. So now I have to go brush my teeth.

Good night angels.

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We just came home from a 4-hour walk at the Moscow State Tretyakov Art Gallery, plus a 2-hour walk at Aliya Perusa. I went to sit beside my son who was about to browse through the TV channels.

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Mommy: Ohhhh I’m tired. Can I sit by you and die please?

Edrick: No Mom! You can’t die! You’re not 100 years old yet.

Mommy: Yeaaaah but I don’t have to be 100 to die.

Edrick: But you’re not 100% yet.

Mommy: You’re right. I can’t die now. *goes ahead and dies in her son’s arms anyway*

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Date: January 25, 2010
Time: Between 0700 and 0800 hrs
Venue: Enida’s Kitchen
Speed: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8… 900 rpm and then 8 again
Direction: North-South-East-West-Up-Down-Back-Forth

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Whatever you call it, brain or mind, it is an amazing tool. I was amazed at myself this morning as I amazed myself when I caught me thinking so many thoughts within less than one hour. It must have been the sleep I had last night, though shorter than what I hoped, was one of the very high quality I have had lately. I woke up with an active mind ready with Plans A, B and C for any A, B and C circumstances.

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My routine Monday-to-Friday-hen-pecking-at-Kitreena session for some reason went in Bahasa Malaysia this morning. It started with her taking her own sweet time shampooing her hair ladidididily and applying the hair conditioner ladidadidaly. I don’t usually like those 2-1 shampoos, because really… how can a ‘detergent’ work with a softener when they are mixed together? But hey, in Kitreena’s case, if someone could come up with 6-1 shampoo, conditioner, body soap, body lotion, toothpaste and breakfast all in one bottle… I would gladly DHL 30 bottles every month with huge ‘For Personal Consumption ONLY’ stickers pasted all over the jumbo box!

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But seriously, she can take 15 minutes to get some toothpaste onto her toothbrush. Brushing would take her 35 seconds, and cleaning the toothbrush 5 minutes. By the time she picks up her hairbrush, it’s already nightfall!

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Ah well, you know me. It would take me 2 sentences to start exaggerating and to wander high and low, near and far wondering where my Dara Monchy got her dillydally-ing and ladidididiladidadida-ing talent.

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Oh, did I say I was hen-pecking at Kitreena in Bahasa? After making and packing her lunchbox, feeding her breakfast and feeding her brother breakfast, I had to brush Kitreena’s hair as she forgot to brush her hair after she brushed her teeth. And this is after doing it five days a week for so many months here, accumulated into so many years. She forgot to brush her hair?

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Naaahh, kan mama’ eh suda bilanggg! Sampek turun itu matahari menunggu tangan kawu ini mencapei sisir. Aaiiiihhh! Teda lah kedapatan. Di bilang eh ayo ayo, yang lagi ayo mama’ eh saurang. Yang lagi siap mama’ eh saurang. Mok ka skolah ndak? Sedari jam brapaaa tadi mama’ eh bilang. Masa eh lupa rambut di palak ndak disisirrr? Di eeeehhh!

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And there I was going at the speed of a waterjet, pockpecking at Kitreena with all my good intention and all in one breath. And to all that, she said… “What do you mean, Ma?” That’s it! My mistake! I should speak more Bahasa around here. Teach Bahasa to these Canadians in the house.

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I didn’t repeat myself, though. I had a good time bahasaing. I felt good. So good, I sent Kitreena to school with an extra-large smile.

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Ratu Kebaya Buzzy Bee 2006

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He is always curious when I have something on the stove. And today when I was making the Mommy-is-running-out-of-idea dish that seems to work every time, the Donburi, he was right there in the kitchen. Dragging the IKEA stool to the cooker, ready to climb up and sit on the kitchen counter to see what’s cooking, he asked me to ask him for help.

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Edrick: Mommy, do you want me to help you count the eggs?

Mommy: Sure Monch. Why don’t you help me count the eggs.

Edrick: Don’t forget the magic word Mom.

Mommy: Pleeeeeeease!

Edrick: Now, that sure helps!

Mommy: Huh? *thinks she should seriously cut down some TV time for this boy, this TV-like lines are starting to annoy her*

Edrick: Wow, Mom! Where did aaallll these eggssss come frommm? There are one billion and fifty five eggsssss!

Mommy: One billion and fifty fiiiivvve? But I can only see ten there!

Edrick: Only ten here in this house Mom. All the other eggs are still in the shop. You just haven’t buyed them yet!

Mommy: Bought!

Edrick: You just haven’t bought them yet!

Mommy: But that’s too many. What am I going to do with one billion and fifty-five eggs?

Edrick: You don’t have to do anything. You just have to buy them, Mom.

Mommy: What am I going to pay them with, my bulu?

Edrick: Mommy, what’s boo loo?

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Glossary for Neil and Mr. Hugo Boss:

bulu = hair (on body parts except for the head which is called rambut)

bulu kening = eyebrow

bulu mata = eyelash

bulu roma = body hair (usually referred to vellus hair)

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Me Monchies were not overly excited today to have a repeat lunch of the Filini con Tuna leftover I made for supper the other day. But they know who the boss is in this Kremlin Nomer Divyet. Any objection shown to Queen Mother of this Kingdom of Totalitarianism would cause them severe hunger in exile! Long live Queen Mother Enidabeth!

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After saying grace, I let them eat with their sour face on. In this Kingdom of Totalitarianism, no food ever goes to waste. I choose what me Monchies eat, and when they eat. They choose how much they need. End of story, no questions asked. So as you could probably imagine, it was very quiet around the dining table today. And peace was mine to enjoy. For once, there I was savoring every little bit of peacefulness, listening to my own thoughts. Until there was a buzzing sound of a fly flying by.

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(Almost) to my shock, the fly sent Edrick screaming like the world was coming to its armageddon! Goodness gracious me! For flybying’s sake, it’s just a FLY, boy! As you could now picture it, it was my peacefulness that came to its armageddon, of course.

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You see, this summer Edrick has developed entomophobia (fear of insects) that is now driving me, not just the bugs, up the wall! It is driving Kitreena nuts too as Edrick is so scared of anything that buzzes, creeps and flies… he does not want to be left alone. And every little noise that sounds like a buzz or a shake would shake my son and send him running to me or his sister like a 7-on-Richter scale earthquake would!

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I got the feeling that finishing lunch today was going to be as hard as sailing a boat on tarmacadam. So I put this CD on for the whole Pokrovsky neighborhood to hear, and was honestly hoping to shoo all the summer flies away! Though it did shake the whole house a bit, Edrick managed to clean up his Filini con Tuna lunch deafened distracted.

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The Latin music was so good, I must admit, that it didn’t just shake my house and me Monchies. It shook my bum too!

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Me Monchies and I spent some good half an hour after lunch mambo-ing and lambada-ing away shaking the Filini Con Tuna calories off in my kitchen and had so much fun doing it, we must’ve debugged the whole Pokrovsky neighborhood!

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Did I tell you that our journey back to Moscow this time was one of the smoothest journeys we’ve had? If I haven’t, I am telling you now then.  We had a 260-minute transit in Singapore in the wee hours of June 17th. At SilverKris Lounge, we were taking our own sweet sleepy time eating some late supper when Edrick got his second wind and started singing the “This Old Man” song.

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Edrick: “…with a knickknack paddywhack give a dog a bone, this old man came rolling home.”

Mommy: Good singing Edrick! *she says this without fail when her Monchies sing*

Edrick: Mommy, why did the old man come rolling to his home?

Mommy: Because his house is down the hill.

Edrick: But why didn’t he walk?

Mommy: Because he’s old.

Edrick: Oh yeah, rolling down the hill is faster than walking.

Mommy: That’s right.

Edrick: Is his dog old too?

Mommy: I’m not sure Monch.

Edrick: If it’s old, the old man shouldn’t give it a bone. Too hard for its teeth.

Mommy: Okay now, eat your chicken wings old man!

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Do you sing your kids cradlesongs, or lullabies as they’re more commonly known? Well, I do. Not as often as I yell, “Bedddd time! Tidorrrrrrr!”, turn the lights off, force me Monchies to turn themselves off, close their bedroom door and run to close mine for my sanity. But I do sing them cradlesongs. Here’s the playlist of the usual:

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• Rock-A-Bye-Baby
• My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean
• Suriram
• Greensleeves
• Hujan Panas
• Mama Hao
• Sayang Di Sayang
• Eagle’s Whistle

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Edrick would usually be ‘gone’ by the middle of the first song. Boy! Is he ever a good sleeper! Kitreena, on the other hand would still be awake on the second repeat of the whole playlist! There are nights when she questions why the cradle is put on the tree-top, why a sweet girl like Suriram can’t be kissed, what exactly did Greensleeves do that broke Sir Lancelot’s heart, and her question-list can be longer than my lullaby playlist if I don’t pretend to fall asleep singing!

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But hey, I shouldn’t be complaining. These monchies are the only remaining audience I have after years of my La Femme de Jogette era, and a decade of hiatus. Haiiiyaaa lagi mao bising meh? Go sing ‘Mama Hao’ loh!

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He tried to balance on the edge of the trampoline and lost it, instantly hitting the ground, landing on his side with his left shoulder taking most of his upper body weight. He came home crying upset with himself more than anything else, as he knew it was a self-chosen pain. His teary, “I wasn’t supposed to stand on the edddggge, Mommm! I’m sorry Mommm!” was enough a proof that his lesson was learned. I said nothing when I pulled him into my arms.

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After a long nap and a rice-porridge supper…

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Edrick: Mom, I don’t know what happened to my balance. I just lost it.

Mommy: *smiles her mischievous smile plotting a twist* Oh do you remember where you lost your balance?

Edrick: Yeah, on the trampoline, Mom. I lost it there.

Mommy: Do you remember what it looks like?

Edrick: You mean my balance?

Mommy: Yeah, your balance. Do you remember what your balance looks like?

Edrick: No, I don’t renember.

Mommy: Does it have any color?

Edrick: You mean my balance?

Mommy: Yeah, does your balance have any color or shape?

Edrick: *looks very puzzled* I don’t think so.

Mommy: Then, how are you going to find it again?

Edrick: You mean my balance?

Mommy: Yes, your balance that you lost today.

Edrick: Don’t worry Mom, I’ll look for it tomorrow near the trampoline.

Mommy: Kah kah kah kah kah kah kah kah kah kah! *loses her balance and falls in love again with her Little Man*

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I have learned that falling is not always a bad thing. Losing one’s balance, too, can be an everyday event. As long as I remember to get up and go at it again. I am blessed for all the hurt I endure today. I’m already on my way to find that balance I have just lost. And I am not going to wait until tomorrow.

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The brother gobbled up the Spaghetti ala Vongole di Veraci supper in a record time leaving her twirling and twisting the pasta onto the spoon ever so collectedly. I could almost hear what was coming, the way I could see the rise and fall of her eyebrows. She does that when she gets down there, deep in her thought, ready to shoot me with her hotter-than-the-sun questions.

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I was kind of not waiting, but nervously anticipating a question I can answer easily or run away from speedily.

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Kitreena: “Are you happy, Mom?”

Mommy: *stops breathing for 8.2571 seconds as her heart skips 2.272 beats*

Kitreena: “Mom? Did you hear me?”

Mommy: “Well, I kinda did.”

Kitreena: “So? What did I just ask you?”

Mommy: “I don’t know, what did you just ask me?”

Kitreena: “Are you happy?”

Mommy: “Happy with what?”

Kitreena: “Happy with what you’re doing?”

Mommy: “What am I doing?”

Kitreena: “You know… being a mom.”

Mommy: *smiles and is about to give the most honest answer but decides to remain smiling*

Kitreena: “I mean, are you happy taking care of me and Edrick?”

Mommy: *fakes a frown* “Of course I’m happy to be with you two. Why did you ask?”

Kitreena: “Because you don’t look like you’re happy.”

Mommy: *sits with her daughter wrapping an arm around her* “Are you happy, Monch?”

Kitreena: “I’m happy when I’m with you, Mom.”

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The rest of the conversation didn’t really matter anymore. My heart was warmer than the sun on its Summer Solstice Day.

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Mommy: Edrick we’re going back to Malaysia today.

Edrick: Yayyyy! Mom I like Malaysia.

Mommy: You do, do you? What about Moscow? Wanna go back to Moscow?

Edrick: Not yet.

Mommy: Which one do you like more, Moscow or Malaysia?

Edrick: I like Moscow a lil bit.

Mommy: What about Malaysia?

Edrick: I like Malaysia a lot.

Mommy: So which one do you like more?

Edrick: I already told you Mom!

Mommy: Yeah you did but you didn’t.

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