Questa è Enida

Not me!
Naaa. I am more like a Ma Faker, to be honest.

I don’t bake. I can be sweet – thank you – yes, I can. But I am not known for makin’ n bakin’ those sweet and chubby stuff you call muffins. Yeah, or cupcakes. With my oven I can bake, broil, and roast things that move on two, four and eight legs, or things that move with feathers, fins, fans and fangs. Oh I can have a fishy affair with my oven, for all that my lover cares. But I am not your cupcake chef with cherry on top.

That’s why when my hubby had to leave for Siberia on Sunday, I felt deserted, dejected, rejected, cheated and very very deeply impacted. He is the baker in the house! For him to be away when I need him the most is just cruel! By the way, I finally said yes to his marriage proposal after nine times asking, after two years, and after watching the movie Deep Impact! (Go figure!)

And now there is no impact deeper than this week, when… almost ten years of marriage, two kids later, and when it is Kitreena’s turn to bring snack to her Girl Scout meeting, Daddy is not home to bake it! You can tell me if I am exaggerating it. Tell it straight to me faeces, weel ye?

It was, to put it in a very plain term, a stressful night for me last night trying to decide what snack to make for the girls. Kitreena was begging me not to send apples. Apparently there are many health-conscious parents out there who would fain want these Daisies to snack only on fruit. Well, I could have sent pears or bananas. But being Enida, I take snacks very seriously.

Deserted, dejected, rejected, cheated, deeply impacted, seriously stress-outed and all… I made these:

To hide the hideous cracks on the muffin caps, and of course for hygiene purposes, I individually serene-wrapped them. The recipe calls for VERY ripe bananas. But my Bonanza bananas, though looked bruised and brown, were pretty middle-aged. Hence, not enough moisture. Hence, the cracks. Hence, told ya ma no baker way early in me post.

I wasn’t trying to scare the girls with the ugliness of the muffins or anything. But I, in fact, almost accidentally poisoned the Girl Scout troop today with my muffins had I not checked that the stickers – which I thought were candies – were not edible! I was going to stick ’em pretty stickers into the muffin caps. Luckily I decided to suck on the first one. The stickers are plastic!

I don’t blame myself for not speaking or reading Japanese, nor do I feel handicap for having such a cheap idea trying to cosmeticize my not-so-pleasing-to-the-senses-looking muffins. But the label and instructions that came with the stickers sure gave me such a misleading idea that they are made of sugar and meant for decorating cupcakes.

Aaahhh well. It all went well in the end anyway. Kitreena came home with Kristy (the Scout Leader) who announced that my Bonanza Banana Muffins were a hit at the meeting. (Of course, Kris, after many meetings snacking on apples, anyone would go bananas!) I was just happy that my cosmeticization effort didn’t end up being a plastic surgery.

Postlude:

The day before Kitreena’s next turn to bring snack to Girl Scout meeting, Mommy will make sure Daddy’s house-arrested!