Questa è Enida

I thought I have told myself enough that there were so many things to re-learn. One thing I didn’t do was to tell myself that there were as many things to un-learn. Malaysia is not the Malaysia I used to know, or what I selectively wanted to remember. Na’ah. She has changed. And so have I. My expectations back then were different probably because I didn’t know any better. My expectations these recent years were different again perhaps because I thought it WAS going to be better here. Some things are, many…not so.

I had forgotten how a customer could be passed around like a bottle of kicap tamin at a dining table that didn’t have much. Or like a pinggan of nasik tambah at a table that did have lots. Customer service? What’s that? Mistakes at any scale are expensive here. You kiss you pay, they kiss you pay, no kiss also you pay what? Malas nak citer the details. If you are here, or when you are…you know lah what I’m talking roundabout.

On a happier note, we got a car now. Too bad for Be since KLCC is just a stroll away from our apartment – it doesn’t pay to drive. I went for a melaunching session yesterday sambil getting some chores done. Off to Bukit Permai, Cheras Baru to take a look at BHE yang tersobek in the auto crash last Saturday (Be escaped unhurt). Then off to Section 15 Shah Alam, and then lunch at C & R 24 Bangi for an authentic Pahang’s Masak Lemak Tempoyak Ikan Siakap. Pehhh! That was beyond sedap.

Today, I let Key drive. My nauseousness was the worst yet. Even a can of Cream Soda couldn’t really keep it down. But got a lot done. Took a look at another house in Taman TAR and we are making an offer for rent tomorrow. So, I guess this might be it for the coming year. The house is nice. I can see myself living in it for a year, I guess. Be and I are on an agreement that houses in Malaysia are unrealistically expensive. People are basing on sole speculation to make money on real estate.

We have looked at new houses…five years old and less. But I must admit, the ‘older’ houses were better built structure-wise and finish-wise. Berlagak tak berlagak, I cannot stand looking at walls with uneven plaster surface, or tiles senget-benget. No, not me. They can have it lah. Call us fussy, but a home is where you land your body and spirit. Even for a while, details count for something.

Reality bites, and this time around it bites harder than either what it used to or what I remember.

I am guilty as charged by Cik Nan. In fact, I had gotten no sympathy from hubby deary when I mengadu that Cik Nan called me puntilanak, kurang hajor, sial, celaka, sondal, pompuan jalang, pompuan tak guna and all the terms I don’t even dare use on World’s Champion Janda Malas of Royal Oak.

I didn’t call my sahabat qoribun. She called me. And that was today, thirteen days after landing dengan selamatnya at KUL airport. I have not been good at keeping friends updated with my news. To not call or email my own qoribun is despicable. I blamed it on the stress of looking for a home and a decent vehicle back here in Kuala Lumpur, though. I just re-realized that my berangan taik kucing has turned into berangan boiled-eggs-tootoot or section-seventeen-Shah Alam-medan-on-a-hot-sunny-day kinda smell. Your nose won’t look for the source.

Reality is I am a far cry from a jutawati, and or even the thoughts of being one. With close to a RM1 plus the six zeros, I can only afford a semi-D house in Beverly Heights, Ukay. I thought I could build a mansion. Well, I suppose I could…if I had a land in Ulu Banat and if I had two years to wait. But I so lah don’t. Plus, the self-chosen pain is: we sengaja cari rumah for investment since konon to avoid renting. At the end of our three or four years here, the house will be ours.

Wishful thinking.

Anyway, I am dengan selamatnya in KUL…pregnant and all.

If I were given a penny for my thoughts, I would be a zillionaire dah by now. Over a month today without any access to my OWN computer and internet. Over a month dah pun being homeless. At the very moment, we are in Calgary. Been here since May 1st, got over jetlag, spent a week and a half on Vancouver Island, yada yada yada…and tinggal seminggu before landing at KLIA. Am I excited or what!

Yepper! Arriving on June 10th, jangan buat-buat terperanjat badak air lah pulak okay. Flight MH 5 pukul 6.40 subuh supi’e. I am so lah looking forward to singgah kat Hentian Nilai Utara lepas belok ke Hi-way E1 makan nasik lemak bungkus for sarapan that morning. I don’t know if my puak gerabak are coming to memeriahkan suasana di pagi hening di KLIA or not. They don’t have to sebab we will be greeted by Shell relocation personnel. But if my puak comes, berebut ler sikit makan nasik lemak Nilai.

I am getting a little antsy now staying with makbonda in Calgary ni. Well, understandable lah. 5 weeks is way too long to have guests. I am sure we are taking quite a bit of her space. I mean TOO MUCH of her space I guess, that she is getting antsy just like meself. Ader jer yang tak kena lately ni. Dari Kitreena tak reti nak sit up at the table like an angle at meal times, to me getting in her way to her make-up session in her bathroom in the morning. Hey, I gotta to pot the hasil somewhere too!

Anyway, adat lah orang menompang. What is keeping me sane these days are the thoughts of fun times in Malaysia for the next four years with mia famiglia, cucur udang cecah Thai chili sauce, Taiping Char Kuey Tiaw and Nasik Lemak Nilai. Muaaahhh! Tanto gusto!

p.s. Will change the clock time to KUL time once me unpacks me PC in Kuala Lampa, y’all.

I was sorting my box of antique little thingies, including notes from uni time, when I found this wording from a card I jotted down ages ago. My two little sai lou came to mind. Well, they are everything but little now, needless to say. But these words are simply perfect to describe the way I feel:

“I don’t always remember
how hard growing up can be,
but I imagine it can be pretty tough these days.

I don’t always choose the right words
or know the best way to show you
that I’m on your side.

Sometimes I forget you’re not a child anymore,
that you need to express your independence,
make your own mistakes, and learn from them.

But even when we don’t agree
or you don’t want to talk much,
I want you to know
I’m here
I care
and I love you…
very much. ”

*credit goes to the writer of these beautifully honest words.

Cantonese Vocabulary:
[ko-ko / goh-goh /tai-kor / tai-lor] older brother
[sai-lor / tai-tai / dai-dai] younger brother

Thanks Breakme for dropping by my site. You said you had been looking for the lyrics of Ubekkan Denai. Well, tak sure lah the real lyrics, but the one I used to sing when I was le femme de jogette dulu is like this:

Ubekkan Denai

Ubekkan denai
Sakitnyo putuih
Dalam bacinto

Cari kan ubek tujuh ramuan
Sarato cincin nan balah rotan
Cincin lah lakek di jari tuan
Di jari manih tuan pasangkan
Cincin lah lakek di jari tuan
Di jari manih tuan pasangkan

Ubekkan denai ubekkan denai
Batambah kuruih badan nan jadi
Tamukan denai suokan denai
Basuo mako tanang di hati

Cincin siapo lah tuan pakai
Denai nan indak di baritau
Tlah tujuh tahun janji ngkau ungkai
Bakeh siapo denai mangadu
Tlah tujuh tahun janji ngkau ungkai
Bakeh siapo denai mangadu

Ubekkan denai
Sakitnyo putuih
Dalam bacinto

Hear yee! Hear yee! Say you, say me!
Bagimu bagiku kita perlu bersatuuu, sedetik, selamaaa lamanyaaaa!

Echeh! Tercarried away like always.
Big news! Me lil sis just gave me a new title: Anti Aunty Enida. A 3kg baby boy tiba di pangkuan his mommy dengan selamatnya on April 16, 2005 at 1557 real time. Afiq has already been said to possess the cool and macho quality his daddy has. Ke mana tumpahnya kuah masak lomak cili api jang oii? So, now…another proud aunt is walking on earth. Me me! Eseh, eseh!

Mula-mula ke Bata
Kemudian ke sekolah
Ke Bata ke Bata
Kerrrrmudian ke serrrrrrkolaaaaah…

Today was Kitreena’s first day at play school. I don’t know if Kitreena was excited, but I sure was. Siap bawak camera okay. There were a few other kids there from various colors, categories and catalogues. Even her teachers pun dari berbagai warna dan warisan, ehcheh! Keturunan lah tu so to speak.

The other day I was online with Ka Cher and Reen – ma two front teeth sisters – chatting about lagu zaman skolah dolu². Lagu Bata above tu sudah semustinya lah kan. The other one was lagu yang disenandungkan oleh Anuar dan Elina, yang berbunyik begini…

Hari pertama masuk sekolah
Tak pandai membaca mengira
Tetapi cikgu begitu tabah
Mengajar kami sungguh²

Bermula A B C sampai Z
Hitung satu sampai sepuluh
Baru ejaan dan kira²
Kami belajar dengan lancar

Berkat kesabaran guru bijaksana
Memberi berbagai petunjuk
Hari demi hari kami pun mengerti
Pelajaran nilainya tinggi

Kami ingat setiap masa
Jasa guru mendidik bangsa
Dengarlah kini ucapan kami
Terima kasih cikgooooooo

I think the song came about circa Teacher’s Day – May 16 – in the year 1983. Mak aiii! It’s almost 22 years ago? Really? Terasa seperti baru semalam ku meninggalkan zaman persekolahan. And today, it’s mia bambina pulak yang masuk skolah. Oh tidak! Akukah yang terlewat? Atau waktu yang tercepat?

Tak pērchaya ini tērjadi padaku.

I have to keep reminding myself that we ARE going to Malaysia. We are. It’s just that things are so lah anti-climactical. I’ll be damned if my pucuk hasn’t died its fifth death yet. Mana dengan Be’s handshake nye has been a ping-pong-pang game between KL-The Hague-Muscat and now tersangkut kat HR, my classes running like they are never coming to an end, garage sale’s plan is still looking very much like a plan, Kitreena lah pulak is going to school next week. Huh, you tell me if we sound like we are leaving.

On another note, I have been going to DHL Watayyah almost everyday now untuk urusan passport and visa, I might as well just work there or invest in the company. Kitreena’s old passport would’ve only had 5 months from her point of entry ke Malaysia this June. So, no visa would be granted. So kena lah renew kat Canadian embassy in Riyadh. Yours truly pulak, sekarang ni nak masuk Canada kena bervisa-visa. So kenalah mohon. And so my passport is now at DHL Abu Dhabi pending delivery tomorrow morning. Ahhh so! Speaking of DHL, I have a story to leter about.

Mehnak citer sket about my property agent in KL who didn’t know the difference between courier and registered mail. First of all, I appointed them to secure tenants for my property in USJ – which they did, and I have thanked and paid them for. I also asked them to take care of some maintenance work, which they ketuk me sampai RM 1570 just to ketuk some pipes and recharge the freons for the AC. I have also paid them through my nose for.

Secondly, I asked them to courier je lah segala makneneks Tenancy Agreement and the maintenance receipts to me. The reason being, me likes to sign the agreement meself, no need no reps no nothin’ to sign ‘em for I, aye? And the receipts sebab nak tengok kesohehan keje ketuk-mengetuk nyer. The whole deal, I suspect, sounded like kawan-atas-kawan kinda mark-up conspiracy. That’s me theory. Anyway, for the courier service pulak, I was more than willin’ to pick up the charges.

Tetapi apa yang telah terjadi tuan-tuan dan puan-puan hadirin, si baghal dari gua antu tak reti bahasa sudah went ahead and sent the docs via registered mail. On top of it all, he actually lied to me lil sis saying that he had couriered them a week earlier (a week prior to March 22, that was). Alih-alih when si baghal’s boss took over, the boss sent me a contradictory information saying that the registered mail had been sent on March 22 – the very day me lil sis called si baghal asking him to hold off shipment if he hadn’t done so. (He hadn’t done so.)

Well if I were you, I would nganga too in disbelief!

My main question was, which part of the word courier that this guy didn’t understand? For property’s sake, I was furious because the registered mail is NEVER going to reach me. Foregone conclusion. Done deal. Sebab kat Oman ni tak ada door-to-door service. I mean, no real “mail” service like Malaysia. No postman-postman mah! That was why I asked them to courier the godforsaken documents. And I gave them my house address because only courier shippers deliver to my door. For mail, I would have given my P.O. Box address. Baghal!

Ni lah dia tak reti bahasa nak dengor arahan. Ibarat jawab exam tak baca soalan. Padan ler ngkau baghal. Dah lah baghal, lagi nak menipu. Sudahnya menjerut his own tengkuk. And guess what? If that wasn’t bad enough, I just gave them the worse news. He can go ahead and telan the registered mail receipts. I am not going to campak even one single sen no more. I said I would bear courier charges, not registered snail mail. Na’ah. Khalass, basta, kaput, sekian dimaklumkan. Terima kasih.

“Membaca Amalan Mulia”

There is no momok in the heart-shaped pendant I used to wear, like I thought there was. The antu is not in the pendant. It’s in my mind. I found that out last night. When yet again there was another mimpi. Mimpi about Anak Raja Sorang Tu – the love of my THEN life. No, I wasn’t thinking of him at all, really. Ah well, bak kata proverb…dream is the game of your sleep – directly translated from, mimpi itu mainan tidur lah tu, apo laeii?

Maybe my subconscious is playing peek-a-boo or aum-chak with me, minding my ghosts. Afterall, I am going back to the old setting – my pre-expatriate life. I can’t help but having the what-if-I ran-into-those-I-don’t-really-want-to-run-into thoughts. Yesterday evening Be and I were joking about our ‘pick-up lines’ masa muda-muda dolu. Mine, among many, was…”It’s not the size, it’s the move babeh!” Terbeliak bijik mata Cik Abang!

He didn’t know I was that wild.

I wasn’t.
I was wild with words, yeah. But all talks one meh, no walks loh. And seeing Will Smith and Eva Mendez last weekend in Hitch really brought back some memories. Well, again…I wasn’t like pisang goreng panas or anything. But, heck! I was in the market lah once. Like you, and like everyone else of course. Pickup-memickup tu resam dunia. Be’s a bit worried now if we are going to run into numerous Enida’s exes. Menjelesi diriku.

I am sure Be meant it as a joke. I found it funny at first. But I know, I am a bit nervous myself. No! Not about running into axed exes. I am happily married as a married woman can be – and more. I am not worried about Be being surrounded by gorgeous brown skins or brown tudungs either. Frankly speaking, there is a lot for me to re-learn. I had it easy back then. Sheltered, protected, everything-provided, ignorant…you name it.

This time around, I have a family on my back. I need good contacts, reliable sources and trusted friends to be able to get by. As much as I thought I knew about my own tanahair kucintai, there’s just so much to know. In the midst of all the worries, this morning I woke up to a little brown bear and a sunflower clock (battery’s conked out and all). These are the good luck charms Ka Cher gave me years ago.

And that was my today’s “Aha! Moment”.
Aha! I have a loving family to fall back on.
And that will make all the difference.

Thanks Dizzy Lizzy, for dropping by. Yes, I am so lah teruja nya hendak menjadi expat di negara sendiri. A bit nervous pun ada jugak actually. Don’t know what to expat expect. Sekali-sekala balik with Be and Kitty tak terasa sangat. I only remember how discriminated I have always been against…going anywhere with Be. Especially at the airport. These ticketers, nampak omputeh macam nampak ayam golek. Berjejeh air liur melayan cik main lagi service nya. Come locals, hah…apa ko nak? Tak koser. (Not all ticketers, of course. Saper yang terasa tu, hah dia lah tu minah jejeh.)

But anyway, my present situation is the farthest away from perfect lah now ni. Packing hasn’t even begun, let alone done. I am so lah in the middle of busy-ness nya that I just cannot. Just cannot lah do anything about it. I thought my morning classes would be a breeze. They are better than a breeze, but then my evening class lah pulak. It is just so huge that I simply can’t win. No matter which way I turn, there’s always papers to mark, handouts to hand out, and lessons to prepare (and to learn myself. Ahak!)

My evening lot, nevertheless, is a happy lot. Apart from Khalid & Qassim je yang muda remaja with their soft ubun², there are three or four young things. The rest boleh dikatakan either my age or senior. But I always tell my audience that I am the makcik here. And then I go ahead and run around like a spring chicken ala “Paul’s Little Hen” (who flew away from the farmyard, ran down the hillside and into the dale, Paul hurried after but down in the brambles, there sat a fox with a great bushy tail. You get the drift, don’t you? Cluck, cluck?)

Tapi tu lah, this intake terasa semacam sikit. Yes the semacam yang lain macam. Don’t really know how to sughouwh ke macang nyer. I’d say, this intake is Duracelic for some reason. I feel like I can derive energy from the lot, and the lot gets the same vibes from me as well. Whatever I did and have done, I could see the glare in their eyes. Attendance has been astronomically excellent, full house every evening 5 to 7.30 every day. Of course lah ada sorang yang just has to be the kobau lomak kan. Montang dio eh di sponsor dek PDO. Temeng!

Otherwise, memang terasa seakan-akan the buaya trapped in my pyjamas seperti akan melibas. Well, don’t get me wrong. I am not keen on an affair of any sorts or anything. But there’s something that makes me feel good about myself. You know, the kind of feeling that would make you want to hum, “This is innuendo feeeeeeeel, this is innuendo feeeeeeeeel. This is how you sing it, what you feeeeeeeeel.” You’re following me, aren’t ya?

So tu lah nyer. My Sydney lot. Fifteen members of the audience altogether. Tredici uomini, solo due donne. Both are Amal’s. One Al Alawi, the other Al Balushi. Very hardworking women, those two. Tapi kan, ada lah sorang ni yang looks so lah Malay nyer. Un uomo comunque. Quiet type, but so far is my BEST student. Silent achiever, gitu. Tapi dalam diam² dia, he has been the one yang rajin mengemail me right from day one. There’s something about this Mat So’od – bukan nama sebenar, nama ini hanyalah untuk hiasan sahaja. I don’t know what, but one thing for sure is…tangan dia lawaaaa se’angat. Ahaks! Nah kau, hah ambik! Nak sangat innuendo feeeeeeel. Rahsiaku rahsiamu jua lah ni haa.

Well, it must have been the tangan-fettishness in me gamaknya. I can get quite drawn to looking. Dah laa jari manis tangan kiri dia pakai wedding ring macam tangan Cik Rome. Hee hee. You know…the tangan yang nampak sejuk je. Nampak cool, as in literally ‘sejuk’. Not many have such hands. The look of them je pun dah sungguh menyamankan, for lack of better words. But uh, wait a minuette! Why am I staying up writing about this guy’s tangan yang nyaman when I should either be getting some sleep or getting the exam papers marekek?

Mat So’od, Mat So’od…apakah telah kau puja semangatku? Inikah artinya innuendo feeeeeel? Oh tidaakk!
Dan the buaya trapped in my pyjamas pun melibaskan Duracelic sparks nya.