Questa è Enida

I finally successfully opened a Maybank account today, after a thorough interrogation at the entrance. With my unemployed face, aka muka pompuan tak keje, I ‘replayed’ what happened previously. That was…I used the same script.

Yang bagusnya, the lady at the entrance remembered HER lines as well. She asked me the very same questions I was asked the last time – all in perfect order! Like, whether I was employed, where I stayed, and the works. This time she even improvised her questions, she asked me my PURPOSE of opening a savings account at Maybank.

Well, I proved the adage lah kan. That a stoopid question begets a stoopider answer. My answer was, “Because I have money and I would like to save some in a savings account so that I would not spend it all.” And gave her that ‘now-do-I-pass-the-test-or-not?’ look. She went hehehe not like that lah Ma’am.

I actually had made an online registration to open an account earlier, like I was told to. And I was given the instruction to go to the branch I selected…to finalize the paperwork. And so I did. But the lady at the entrance said that, “Oh, all the online registration data goes to our headquarters and we don’t have it here.” Huh? What was that supposed to mean? That they didn’t have a way to retrieve my data online – from their KLCC Branch? What a crappy system! That was the funniest joke I had ever heard. But, boy! Was I not laughing.

I had the online registration Reference Number right in my hand and she was basically saying that it has no meaning to them. I could not believe I was dealing with THE biggest and the best bank in Malaysia at that moment. Pancung kepala pun sumpah I wouldn’t believe it.

But anyway, the lady asked me if I had my passport with me to open an account – she was going to make a deal lah kiranya so that I could still open an account. Why do I need a PASSPORT to open an account? Not only do I have to have a job, now I have to have a passport? I truly felt like I was going to pengsan in disbelief there and then! I do not haul my passport around, but I do have my ID/IC…I said.

“Oh, are you Malaysian?” she asked. I didn’t know whether to take that as an insult or compliment. I must have looked like a Filipino or Nepalese to her. No offense. Or maybe I simply looked like a maid – a pregnant and unemployed maid. How could that be?

To cut the already long story short, she asked me to come back Monday next week. I said, “No, I am not leaving until I have a savings account opened. Thank you very much.” I refused to be treated like I was going to apply for a loan. Even loan applicants are not treated that way, I am sure. Cakap kasor nyer, bukan aku nak duit engkau! Aku lagi nak menyimpan – which is to their advantage to invest. Lagi mao bising! Bangsat ke haper!

But nah, I was ‘nice’ all the way. The lady gave me the ‘let-me-check-our-customer-appointment-list’ excuse and if the customer who was supposed to come at that hour cancelled his appointment, she would slot me in. “Kita ada customer waiting ni.” To which I gave, “You are not treating me as a potential customer here, lady! For God’s sake, I am about to open an account with this bank.” Sambil saya terkelip-kelip kat situ, still in disbelief lah kan.

I was given a form to fill in and about 20 minutes later the lady came to me asking if I had been at the KLCC branch before.

I showed her the Manager’s letter.