Questa è Enida

Twice now!
The first time was Tuesday last week. There was this man, wearing a yellow DBKL collared T-shirt and a yellow DBKL cap, ringing the doorbell and ‘scolding’ me nicely about the garbage in the box outside my gate. He claimed that his boss had asked him to take pictures of the garbage left not in plastice bags in my neighborhood and to warn us of dogs making a mess with the trash. He then, at the end told me that the previous tenant used to give him money and some drinks.

The first time, I kinda thanked him for ‘scolding’ me nicely. However, the garbage wasn’t garbage, and I told him that I knew a couple people who would pick the box up and get some use out of the stuff in it (the stuff, by the way, was some leftovers from our successful Garage Sale last month. Besides, no dogs would come close to water bottles, potpourri and salt & pepper dispensers, you think?)

Today, the same guy came again…later in the afternoon. Quarter after 6pm, to be exact. He must have the script memorized, or something. This time, I asked Be to be ‘scolded’. Sure enough, the guy played the same old record. But today, I got smart. I told him in the hey-I-know-you’re-a-spoof kinda tone that my neighborhood is not under DBKL lah mister! We are under MPAJ. And he immediately berbalas pantun with yours truly, that he knows some people at MPAJ and he now, today, was representing the Mosquito Spray department. So, it was his duty to remind us to put garbage in plastic bags.

What the…?
I gave him the ‘talk-to-the-hand’ gesture and walked away, letting Be deal with this DBKL guy. And just as I turned my back, Mr. DBKL asked Be for a cold drink! Be looked at me for a split-second decision, and I looked back in disbelief! I had told Be that he should have expected that line, and he should have known it was coming. Don’t look at me!

At that point, I wasn’t nice anymore. Well, I wasn’t all that nice from the very beginning anyway. That’s just the way I am. I am simply not nice when I know I am being lied to. I am not nice when I am dealing with shams, thank you very much. I saw it the other day, that Mr. DBKL had gone to my neighbor’s house (who just moved in three weeks earlier) and got a RM10 note from her! So, I wasn’t going to give him a chance!

I heard Be said no to his asking for a drink, and I said it was after 6pm Saturday. Mr. DBKL should not have been at our door doing overtime, anyway. And that he could wait for the ‘previous tenant’ to move back to the neighborhood if he so wanted handouts. He ain’t gonna get a drop of piss, nor a penny (poo) from me! Be gone now.

Be wasn’t overly impressed with my rudeness. I wasn’t either. I should have just called the police. Or maybe I should have just set his pants on fire.