We are home now after four nights of sleeping in a strange bed threesome-ly; Mommy and Monchies. I didn’t sleep much those four nights. That’s just the way I am when I have training courses to conduct. No matter how prepared I am, I still find it ‘exciting’. And I will be just too excited to even close my eyes. I guess, this is MY kind of adrenaline rush.
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Sleepless and all, I got to forget about my Mom for a little bit. Or at least to pretend forgetting about Mom. Until Friday when Ka Cher updated me on Mom’s one-week break from the hospital. In between my presentation slides, I looked up for information on Velcade – the chemo regime Mom is going to be put on starting October 20.
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Sleepless and all, I got to forget about my personal self and enjoy my professional one. Or at least to pretend forgetting that I am about to brave parenting all on my own, single-handedly. I have been doing it for almost a year anyway. Rotationally…just like Be has, with his job. I wasn’t thinking of mothering until Saturday evening when I came back to our hotel room to a teary-eyed daughter who could not sleep because she missed Daddy so much. So in between notes on Communication, Body Language and Effective Presentation…I could not help myself but to send a text message to Be, asking how he was doing.
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Expectedly, when we got home yesterday, reality came rushing and gushing at us. We had no defenses. So we came home to our personal selves, my daughter and I. The rainy afternoon was easy, the sundown was uneventful. But bedtime, like it has always been, was the hardest. And last night, while humming the medley of Suriram and Greensleeves to Kitreena, I was asked yet another question:
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“Mom, when Daddy has a new family with the other lady…what will I call him? Can I still call him Daddy? Or do I call him Uncle Karl?”
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I was sure Kitreena was not trying to be funny. But I tried hard to contain from even chortling. I let out a sigh nonetheless and answered my daughter’s advance-level question.
“Nothing can change the truth, monchy. He’s still your Daddy. So you will call him Daddy forever.”
“But…”
There is always a but with this gal!
“But if he is my Daddy forever, how come he doesn’t want to come home even for just one day?”
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That question, my suriram…can only be answered by your forever-Daddy.
Suriram…Suriram
Suriram, anak yang manis
Anak manis janganlah dicium sayang
Kalau dicium merah pipinya
[Suriram…Suriram
Suriram, the sweet little child
Sweet little child you kiss her not
For she blushes to your kiss]
Questa è Enida 
Enida,
Awak buatkan saya ternyanyi-nyanyi lagu suriram ni lah … he he he
Dearest Enida,
Iman asked me yesterday if she could visit Kitreena one more time.
I asked why?
She said, “…I just want to play with her. She looked sad the other day. She even told me about her daddy not coming home.”
I queried, “What else did Kitreena tell you?”
Iman with her “adala” answer, followed soon.
I promised her that i would ask you first.