I found myself in a difficult sitch yesterday. No, I am not going to use the word difficult. And I am not going to use the word sitch either, it’s so Kim Possible. So, here: I found myself in a challengingly awkward situation yesterday. If spending an afternoon with parents of Kitreena’s classmates was not awkward enough, try this…a mom made a statement that sent me speechless and almost thankful that my daughter is NOT the smartest kid in her class.
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It got me thinking, nevertheless, of how brutally competitive parents can be when it comes to what they themselves have failed to achieve in school. It is not about letting children develop at their own pace anymore, is it? And if your kid happens to be one who can read at the speed of light, oi! God forbids if you don’t make it known.
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But really, how do you respond to statements like:
- “Oh, my son is the best reader in the class! I send him to Kumon. Why don’t you send yours to Kumon or Smart Reader, etc. to improve her reading ability?”
(You believe in ‘Ain’t no matter where they begin, matters where they end’ kinda philosophy. And no, you don’t mind if your kid ends up reading price barcodes with an infra-red reader at Wal-Mart either…as long as she knows how to earn a living.)
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“My son has the most “Spot-On’s” in the class now! 12 altogether.”
(Your daughter just got her 15th Spot-On. Yes, you are proud of your daughter, and would love to smirk off the other mom’s crowing. But you know those Spot-On’s are not a ticket to Harvard. Puhleeeassse!)
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If school and life have taught me anything at all, the very least I know is that the highest valued achievements are immeasureable. One can be the richest man standing, measured by hundreds of billion dollars in his pocket. But if he is full of nothing but himself, he is full of nothing.
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Questa è Enida 
Wiz:
So very true! Since I come from this exam-oriented culture, I actually purposely send the kids to a school that I thought would be the farthest end of my test-mengetest culture. Eh, what did I know! Most of the students there are parented by people from the exam-oriented culture themselves. Now, these parents kinda rule the school sudah.
Last year, my husband and I demanded to see the Head of Junior School to demand explanation why my kindy girl was given homework almost every night. She was just in Kindergarten, for kangaroo’s sake!
And that is not to mention all the topics parents HAD TO discuss with their children weekly for the kids’ presentation. And the topics parents HAD TO talk with their kids about – during term breaks! I was beginning to think the school was training my girl to be Pauline Hanson ko po?
And now in Year One, spelling test every week? That is sooooo Malaysian NATIONAL school! Memorize, memorize, memorize! And to boot, my daughter has extremely good memory. The only challenge is, her memory is not in roman alphabets.
How lah?
Yes, it is very competetive in our kids’ world Enida, not the kids but the parents. And our school system is so exam oriented that it is so dificult for the parents not to make the children sit and study for it. Homework yang menimbun which I don’t even know how to do like Maths ha ha ha. I was called by the HM to the office just because my daughter failed to complete her homework. I honestly don’t blame her but I do have to stress to her of trying her best to complete everything in due time. Malas and malulah nak jumpa HM lagi.
Sometimes it does make me wonder if not sending her to all those extra classes like piano or drama or etc. will haunt me later.
MA and Brood:
Exactly!
That’s what I have been trying to ‘lead-by-example’ to my little ones. It’s not what we do, most of the time. It’s how good we are at what we do that matters.
Everybody and anybody can be trained to be anything. A teacher, a fireman, or a maid even. But what makes a good teacher/fireman/maid good? Better than the rest, and fondly remembered?
Very true, MA. The secret lies in wanting to be the best that we can be. And that is HARD work, indeed. We don’t just be.
Well said.
I told my kids – all that matter is that you guys work hard for it and be the best that you can be.
If my son wants to be a fireman, he’d better be the best fireman there is.