Questa è Enida

I almost had it enough with my daughter today! Boy did I ever! If Elizabeth Gilbert’s words about quiet mind had not come in time to save me, I would have turned blue from holding my breath. I mean, really! There I go again with my ‘I mean really’. Is there something about this tropical wonderland that is extremely corrosive to my patience?

Thing is… I see Elizabeth Gilbert in Kitreena the more I read that woman and the more I read my girl. And they both belong to the other end of the spectrum from yours truly… they both do not have a quiet mind. Kitreena has to be doing something every hour down to the very minute in her waking hours. And when she is not doing something, she has to be saying something. She has an excessive need to uncage her thoughts in words. She has to talk.

Now, I am not saying a ‘noisy’ mind is no good. Especially for a person Kitreena’s age, it is almost perfectly normal. Perfectly called for. It is a sign of an active mind in a child. But for a mother with a quiet mind like mine, words uttered can be a clutter. I am not saying that my mind is always quiet either. I can have thoughts of different thoughts spinning like a Blue Ray disc. But the only noise you hear is the words I write. And you – mind you – have a choice to read or not to read!

But when Kitreena speaks, she turns into a little Pharaoh! I am only thankful I am a little Pharaoh’s mother! She can speak all she wants, I just have to say, “Silent! Pharaoh’s mom speaks now!” She says everything that crosses her mind. I mean EVERYTHING! Here’s an example of her response to my “Kitreena, if you want to go swimming, please go get changed.”

“Okay Mom. Uh… but where did you put my swimming gear? Oh I know, it must be in the bag we took to the beach the other day. But maybe Dad has taken the bag downstairs. Dad, did you take my swimming suit out of the bag that we took the beach the other day? Oh yeah! I found it Dad. But Mom, I think I don’t need my goggles here. The chlorine is not so bad in our swimming pool compared to the hotel one. But I’m still going to take the goggles and everything in the bag to the pool just in case I need them. And even if I don’t need them, they just stay in the bag because that’s where they belong. So if I don’t put them on this time, I know where to find them when I go swimming next time. Okay Mom? Mom? Mom? Are you listening to me Mom?”

To which I answered… “I wish I didn’t have to.”

So, you see what I mean by noisy mind now? That paragraph above was exactly what was said by Kitreena without ANY interruption from me or her Dad. And that paragraph above is a true example of what she said within the ten-minute commotion of her wanting to go swimming because she was bored and could not stand doing nothing at home after an early supper! She had to go swimming, she had to be doing something on a rainy afternoon. And she had to make commentary of every movement she made, as though she had a visually-impaired audience watching!

But then again, I am making my noise now, am I not?  These words I write.