Questa è Enida

Kar Cher and I had a long, much-needed, heart-to-heart chat the other day. About us – about the childhood we never really had. The mistakes our parents made when they were young. The visions they had that we never saw or understood, and yet had to share. In Ka Cher’s words: “I remember our childhood when we were ALWAYS doing something, or when we always HAD to do something…chores.”

Mom and Dad probably wanted what many other parents did. One big happy family. They got what they wished for. But all my life, right to the point when I had Kitreena, I had always wondered why I wouldn’t ever want more than two children. I now have two – ‘minimum number’ to make it plural. And for my children’s sake, I want them to enjoy their childhood. To be little…to be children.

My job as a parent is far from done. But for now, I just want to watch them grow. Slow them down, if I could. But I will watch and I will let them be. For that little child in me I never got to love, I promise.

Let Them Be Little
Lonestar

I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand
Felt so good in it, no bigger than a minute
How it amazes me, you’re changing with every blink
Faster than a flower blooms they grow up all too soon

So let them be little ’cause they’re only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be little

I’ve never felt so much in one little tender touch
I live for those kisses, prayers and your wishes
Now that you’re teaching me things only a child can see
Every night while we’re on our knees all I ask is please

Let them be little ’cause they’re only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be little

So innocent, a precious soul, you turn around
It’s time to let them go

So let them be little ’cause they’re only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be little

Let them be little

(Richie McDonald/Billy Dean)

I have written one thousand million posts in my blog mind. Not that I am trying to give excuses for not writing, but this is why I wasn’t anywhere near the computer. Edrick was born on November 30th, 20 days after Kitreena’s 3rd birthday.

This baby boy is the true meaning of a “well-planned” child lah, I must say. We wanted at least a 3-year gap between the two kids, we got it. We, of course, wanted a boy, we got him. I actually had an option to have Edrick on December 1st or 2nd. But I thought it would be nice to have both children’s birthdays in the same month. So, he was ‘pulled out’ by Dr Ravi Chandran at 8.23am November 30th. Could not have planned it any better!

Yes, C-Section it was, because Edrick was in a breech position – feet on the forehead and bum down. We gave him almost 4 weeks to smarten up and position himself for a normal birth. But nohhh, he made up his mind way earlier to give his mommy a different experience. I am not complaining, though. In fact, I am grateful it was a smooth operation. No exaggeration – it was almost pain free (if you would call that needle poke on the back as pain lah kan!)

One thing I must admit – you can call me a bad mother for all I care – that the painful part of giving birth is breastfeeding. More on that later. Kang jadi Oprah Show pulak. Or maybe I should re-word that. The most painful part of giving birth is trying to live up to the stories you heard that breastfeeding shouldn’t be painful. What’s with the cracked nipples, what’s with the latch-on technique you never master, what’s with sharing your semi-private part that has become a milk-making device. Trust me, I can go on and on and on. But hey, three weeks later, I am still pumping. Two three hundred ml’s a day is better than nothing.

Anyway, Edrick and I are doing excellently well. I’ve been up, out and about right from day 2. Day 1 I still had a catheter on, so go imagine urine bags hanging on the bedside. Ahak ahak Day 7, I was back at Gleneagles to get the stitches removed and Edrick checked by the Pediatrician. Day 8, I was at Maju Junction for the registration and semi-window-shopping for Be’s batik shirt. Hee hee. Day 11, drove Be to KLIA – he had to be in Perth for a 2-day meeting. Day 14, went 8-hour Xmas shopping with Cik Nan at Ikano, IKEA and The Curve.

Go figure!

Caught myself singing this song while watching the rain from my living room. Cuppa tea in one hand, John Gray’s Children Are From Heaven in the other. Kitreena was at the Time Square having her day out with Ka Cher. Be won’t be home from Houston til this Thursday.

Hujan-hujan kau datang lagi
dingin-dingin menyiksa diri
semakin dingin semakin sepi
sudahlah dingin daku sendiri
ku panggil kau tak menyahut
akan menjerit tak sanggup lagi
aku pun menangis lagi
hmm hmm hmm hmm

Hujan membawa cerita lama
dulu sepayung kita berdua
semakin dingin semakin mesra
sedangkan kini daku sendiri
membeku rindu di hati
rindu yang tiada pula berarti
tiada jua berhenti
dingin dingin dingin dingin

Yada yada yada yada
putusnya tali ikatan
kekasih kini berpaling pada yang lain
bukan denganku kawan bersanding
nak ku damba lagi tak mungkin

Hujan seakan dicurahkan
dingin dan gelap mencengkam
oh malang sudahlah dingin tiada berteman
hati sepi ku bawa mendengkam
mata pun tak mau memejam

Oho mendesis angin dan hujan
oho menangis ku kesepian

Well no, I wasn’t feeling lonely or anything. Frankly, I was enjoying the rain. Didn’t get to see much when we were in Oman. Be wouldn’t have liked a day like today. Those cloudy rainy days in Milan almost drove him nuts. I, on the other hand, enjoyed them tremendously. Came rain or snow in Calgary, I was chirpy as the robins.

Actually, my nawaitu asal writing ni was to thank those who posted comments on my blog. Thanks Dan (and wifey poo). And to apologize for not responding earlier. My Cicero was zapped by lightning twice last week. Once when we were away – in KK. Fried the network card. We were going to replace it and was like standing on one foot using the dial-up connection instead of Streamyx…when the second lightning struck. Zappitty zappp!

Sent it for a repair work and basically got a brand new pc back. Nothing was NOT replaced except for the processor. Dengan motherboard pun hangus. Lucky Kitreena’s pictures, thousands of them, are still in tact. I haven’t made any back-up since we left Muscat. There’s another story about the TMNet modem, but I don’t want to bore my own pants off. Enough already!

Thanks jugak to those who made it to our open house/Kitreena’s birthday party last weekend! You made our very FIRST attempt opening our house pening-free! It was a breeze and I definitely won’t be serik to do it again next year. I should fax Hidayah Maju Catering a thank you letter lah for doing a great job. I am impressed! Those who could not make it, no worries. I’ll find some excuses to do it again sooner than you know.

To All,

This might come a little bit too early, but here we are wishing you…

• Ramadhan Mubarak
• Happy Halloween
• Happy Deewali (Deepavali)
• Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri
• Merry Christmas
• Happy New Year, and
• Gong Xi Fa Chai

…all in chronological order, and all in one breath!

We are celebrating all these AND Kitreena’s 3rd Birthday (plus House-Warming, Baby-Shower and Kitreena’s Mom’s 30-something birthday) in one Open House in about two weeks time. (Please find attachment.) When you come – and see my tummy from miles away – you’ll understand why we are in such a rush. Ha ha.

And in case you are having a problem opening the attachment, here’s the details:

When:
November 12, 2005 Saturday – 2-4pm
(Of course it is an open house, the food will run out, but we will be here all day)

Where:
X Lorong Chong Khoon Lin X
Ukay Heights, Ampang

Directions:

• If you are from MRR2 – take the Jalan Ampang/Pusat Bandaraya Exit near the Flamingo Hotel, or
• If you are from Lebuhraya Bertingkat (E12) – take the Exit 1204A Jalan Kerja Ayer Lama
• Turn onto Jalan Kerja Ayer Lama towards Kelab Darul Ehsan passing International Schools, staying straight for about 800 meters
• Turn left immediately after passing SPCA on your left (at a ‘crooked’ simpang empat)
• Take the n-th left-turn onto Lorong Chong Khoon Lin X
• Our place is # X, at the cul-de-sac (end of the road)
• Parking is extremely limited, so you either come early, car pool, or park along the main Jalan Chong Khoon Lin and exercise your way up to the cul-de-sac (about 100 meters. Oh c’mon! Think of all the good food…Roti Jala, Laksa Penang, Lodeh, etc.)

It’d be really great to hear from you before November 12 – to make sure there will be enough Lemang & Rendang for all, or if we have to run to 7–Eleven to get you some potato chips. This is our first time having the opportunity to organize a makan-makan like this, so, excuse us for being a couple of worrywarts. Unless you don’t mind Pringles Potato Chips….

We can be reached at:
019 – 397 xxxx (Enida)
012 – 387 xxxx (Karl)
03 – 4253 xxxx (Home Phone)
03 – 4252 xxxx (Home Fax)
enida@mail.com
Atau Balai Polis yang berhampiran (Just Kidding)

So, ladies, gentlemen, girls and boys…have a great time with families and friends di musim perayaan ini. Please buckle up and drive safe; no speeding, no rushing, no sleeping, no swearing and no phone-calling or sms-ing while driving okay? Pack yourself some Maruku or Kerepek Bawang if you have to…to keep you awake for the long journey – but make sure your puasa is full still. *wink wink*

Salam Aidilfitri & Happy Deewali.

Warmest Regards,
Enida, Karl & Kitreena.

P.S. Tapi nak sangat giving out information to my friends, tapi banyak lah pulak I had to axe-out in this post (which is also an email I just sent out to personal contacts). Hence the “xxxx’s”. Sorry guys. I know information is power, but takut kang banyak pulak power-crazy powerades powerbars power-switches power-rangers or pakwe-pakwe out there whose hobby is to run amock at open houses. Those who know me personally, you have my number kan? Hah, dial me up!

Bab ‘info-traffic’ again today, tun-tun dan pun-pun. Tell me if I am stating the obvious; that we drive between the road lines, not on them! Hai meh? And yet so many don’t seem to think that it is obvious. Of course the lines are there to guide you in terms of space you have on your side. So, when you have enough space on YOUR side, why do you have to makan jalan and be on MY side?

Get over, you hog!

Worse, some people punyalah sayang kereta cik konon…sanggup risk the collision with the oncoming traffic semata-mata to elak some potholes! Adaka? And to be behind a motorbike is oh so ‘harmful to the morals and status’, so they have to pass/overtake regardless of safety. Slow down? What’s that?

Pastu perasan they are F1 champions. When the road curves like the middle part of E12 (Ampang Elevated Expressway) near the Jelatek exit, they have to use two lanes because they just don’t know how to control the vehicle at 80km/h. Slow down? Eh mana boleh! It’s so embarrassing to slow down! No way. Nobody has died before at that curve for hogging both lanes. So, it has to be safe to do so.

I am not saying all but ni lah dia mentality many Malaysian drivers. Well, Malaysian road system shares the blame also. But how do we educate our people about road safety? Where do we begin? And when do we draw the line between safety and stupidity?

My brother Key gave us, the three sisters, the subuh-supi’e-still-waking-up kind of teka-teki last weekend after the family sahur kat kampung:

• Mary’s father had four daughters; Nana, Nini and Nunu.
  What’s the name of the fourth daughter?

We went very quiet, trying to give Key the most intelligent answer. It had to do with the sound of the other names. There’s NANA, NINI and NUNU. So the 4th has got to have two repetitive ‘N’ plus a vowel syllables. Must! Or so we thought. So we tried the other two missing vowels: NENE or NONO.

When Key gave us the correct answer, us…three sisters went rolling on the comforters in the living room that dawn like popia gorengs my lil sis made for berbuka the evening before! Rolling-ly laughing almost turning blue and black trying to catch our breath. Boy! Us, silly girls di pagi hari.

The answer was in the clue, obviously.
Poor forgotten Mary!

What’s new about this kinda news?
I wish I could be more sensitive about it. But I have been desensitized. Not just every year, almost every day. Some make it to the media. The rest, I see for myself on the road. Not many parents love their children enough. Yeah yeah, they do. They haul the kids around wherever they go to keep them at hand. But they don’t mind killing their kids – with one simple but fatal thought – that their vehicles are the SAFEST place.

How safe of a driver are you? There’s always you…in relation to others. Bila kita drive dengan penuh hemat, others think we’re slow and stupid. When we tunjuk belang sekali-sekala, orang lain berbalas dendam dengan penuh ‘skills’ some more! Lu ingat lu sorang bawak Rexton ka? Here! Watch my Kelisa go! Nah kau! (The sticker on the back says: My other car is Murano.) Attitude thing. Tapi tu bab lain.

Bab children tak pakai seat belt ni.
I wonder if parents don’t feel a little tiny bit of worry or care or guilt, or whatever you name the feeling. Or do adults buckle up just to avoid kena saman? Pehh! Another attitude problem. What’s the law here by the way? I know in Oman, nobody cares about what you do with your children. Kids rule there. (For the love of children!) In Canada, every rider – be it drivers or passengers, kecik besor tua muda – MUST buckle up, end of story. Children under-age are under the care of the dah-tentu-lah-above-age drivers. For the love of innocent children. But how is it here, ah?

Most times, I try not to ‘mendoakan yang tak baik’ when I see kids terlompat-lompat, terhoyong-hayang in the back seat of the cars in front of me. I have seen so many kids sitting in between the two front seats reaching, grabbing at whatever, monkeying around. But I can’t help but imagining the obvious!

We always tell sob stories AFTER these obvious tragedies. Oh the victims tak sempat nak beli baju Raya lah, oh there were signs that the victims knew they were dying lah, they were so happy or so quiet, so not the usual selves lah. Boo hoo. But what the media never really wants to say is, the victims could have been saved or would have not been thrown out through the windshield if they had fastened their seat belts. Is it out of respect for the victims or their families? But of course. No rubbing salt in to the wound is necessary.

Hence, we don’t learn from (what is actually) stupidity and other people’s carelessness. We would like to believe that it is all…

• suratan takdir
• ajal maut di tangan Tuhan
• the time has come for those victims
• God loves them more

And we make all the excuses…to move on. Never to look back. We take heart, gain courage, buck up. But buckle up? Huh, what for? Kalau dah nak mati tu, pakai seat belt ke, pakai baju besi ke, mati jugak. So, tinggal lah mereka dan keluarga mereka dalam kebodohan yang menyedihkan dan kesedihan yang bodoh.

I am harsh, indeed. Insensitive, yes of course I am. But I know God doesn’t do the buckling up for me, He doesn’t fasten MY or Kitreena’s seat belt.