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To Jog A Whale

You are a thief and you have been caught robbing me. It’s just amazing that you are defending yourself saying you have nicer and better things than mine, and that you stole things from me because I left my back door open. If you do have nicer and better things, why are you so sore when what’s mine that you stole was returned to me?

And by the way, what difference does it make which door you came in through?

It Makes Horse Sense

Menemankan Edrick baring-baring for his afternoon nap today, I stopped him from humming the Mozart (yeah, thanks to those Little Einsteins show on Channel 613) and asked him to do animal sounds.

.

Monch, how does a rooster sound like?

Oo’ oo’ ooooo’ oooo’k!

How does a duck sound like?

Quack kwek quack kwek!

How about a bird?

Tweet chweet tweet chweet!

A sheep?

Mekkkk!

Edrick, can you do lizard sound?

Tsk tck tsk tck!

Wow! That’s good, monch.

Do you know how a monkey sounds like?

Yess! Ooh aaa aaa aaa, ooh aaa aaa aaa!

How about a cow?

Easy mommy. Moooooo!

Right on! What about a donkey?

Eeeeyore, eeeyore!

Very good! And how does a horse sound like?

Yeeee haaa!

.

I had no time to say neigh or nay. I was laughing my eeeyore off on the carpeted floor, yeee ha ha ha ha ha!

.

.

Berdoa Berdua

104th Month Anniversary Breakfast at Delicious,
Dua Residence Annexe this morning.

Berdoa Berdua

104th Month Anniversary Breakfast at Delicious,
Dua Residence Annexe this morning.

Oh Owe!

I owe you at least half of the story. The ending half. The only problem is…it hasn’t ended. It isn’t ending either. I don’t suspect the ending is going to come before MY ending. Mistake is, after all, a life-long lesson you keep on taking until you’ve learned it by heart. Mistakes…yours or others, regardless.

So today I saw Ms X.

Yes, I saw her. Like I saw her a month and a day ago. I saw her better this time. Longer. Many more coup d’oeil. No, she didn’t see me. Not today. Unlike a month and a day ago, she did see me. She turned around when I wasn’t looking. She turned around and hid. She thought I hadn’t seen her when she finally saw me from about 20 meters away.

Today I saw her for good 10 minutes. She didn’t see me. She didn’t know I was less than 5 meters away from her. I was in a line-up, and she was passing by. A friend of hers stopped her and they had a chat. So I saw her.

Every time I saw her, I felt better about myself. I’m glad I am me. A lesson so good to learn, indeed.

"Mata Jendela Hati"

Eyes…the windows to your soul.

I remember reading an article in a magazine about thirty years ago entitled just that…Mata Jendela Hati. And I remember thinking how brilliant the idiom (or saying, or proverb or figurative speech – whatever it is called) was. But then, I remember thinking…how does one tell another’s soul just by looking at the eyes. Do they really tell that much?

Pour For The Poor

Standing the heat…I’ve been staying in the kitchen. Yes, connotatively and denotatively. Ahaks! I was going to make Rosemary Chicken, but as I was literally stabbing her on the breasts (yes, she has three beautiful and yummy breasts), I realized that my jarred Rosemary McCormick was already on her way to the Land of The Tsars. All I had left was the lemon-pepper mix and a new square no-lid skillet.

So it wasn’t going to be Married or Merried with Rose. And so…the Johnsons had to be just contented with Roslaimi Chicken – not Rosemary Chicken, I was afraid. Thus, with three knife-stabbed breasts, frozen Emborg spinach blanched in coconut milk and skillet-roasted potatoes and carrot…we paused before we poured the gravy and so we said our grace at supper.

Pour the grace on us, Lord, as we pray that not one too many a child goes to bed hungry and cold tonight. Not in Gaza, not in Rwanda, not in Bolivia, not in Nako Nambua.

Amin or Amen.
However one spells it.

*Yes. Stabbing was very much needed for those not-fully-thawed-out breasts, as I also discovered that MC “Tenderizing” Hammer has all this while had an affair with Rosemary McCormick and joined her on the Transiberian Cargo.

The Craving Is Gone

Although I am looking forward to the last day of (watching the movers) packing me stuffies at the Brickhouse, tomorrow will be the last day per me riding me Cravy. It has been good three and a half years, baby! Kitreena got really worried when I teased her that from tomorrow onwards we’ll all have to put on our runners when stepping out – we’ll be walking and taking buses or taxicabs. Ahaks! Teringat zaman menapak dulu-dulu…swinging and swaying in mini buses and commuter trains.
Baby Cravy…sampai nanti. Thanks for the last 100, 000km. Be good.
Menapak jalan yang menjauh
tentukan arah yang ku mahu
tempatkan aku pada satu peristiwa
yang membuat hati lara…

Kukus Kak Kiahku Kukus

I went to see my brother, Dee, at Brothers Prima Saujana, I think it was almost two weeks ago, to ask him to fix a set of new visors per mia macchina. Sure enough what took me almost a year to do took him no time at all! Betul lah kata orang kerja bertangguh tak menjadi. Thanks Dee. Hope your kang-kong hey-hey in Lukut was a blast.

While Dee was taking his own sweet time fixing the visors, I walked over to Kak Kiah’s place right next door. Joining me was my Lil Sis who didn’t feel like going home (then…yet) after work. Since the chicken (meant for Nasi Ayam) hanging in Kak Kiah’s display gobok was being chomped away by flies, I opted for Kak Kiah’s Nasi Lemak Kukus being kukus-ed away.

When the Nasi Lemak Kukus Kak Kiah got to my table, for some reason I felt sad. Keadaan Nasi Lemak Kukus Kak Kiah agak menyedihkan. I don’t know how I managed to get such a decent picture of it! I felt very ragu-ragu that the taste would ever be able to cheer me up. I even mms-ed this ‘BEFORE’ picture – and my skepticism – to KaCher who wasn’t able to join us at Kak Kiah’s that afternoon. The cucumber piece, especially, broke my heart. (Note the singular quantifier piece, tuan-tuan dan puan-puan.)

But I was wrong about Kak Kiah’s Nasi Lemak Kukus. The absence of the ‘AFTER’ picture should be enough information for you to assume betapa malunya saya nak cakap…I was wrong. So…dear Kak Kiah, keep on kukusing. But if you could shoo off the flies from chomping away at your Nasi Ayam’s ayams, I might come back for a plate or two.

Nowk Mujoe Mekk

Two years in the godforsaken sleepy town, Ka Cher and I had fun picking up this funny dialect. At times we still use it to have a good throaty laugh while ngeteh. At Lengkuas for brunch today, we almost had a sore throat knowing and talking about so many biaks around us:

Pohpalih laa!
Ah ye.
Ngkaler awaok nte doh tau konoan nye suor nte pakei ndi kaki, ngape plowk tiber pakei ndi lengei?
Namer nye sngaje gitu gayer?
Sebak pakei ontok duduk dalaang ghumoh je yak?
Bukei nok kwor ghumoh nunjowk koghang?
Ehh dowwwkk! Ontok duduk dumoh je ko kabor.
Keknyer diyer nte tau ke dowk suor te mende?
Ntoh ye ntoh dowk ke tau nyer tuu.
Ngkaler ye, babei lalu kelaku nyer. Bingei tu lah.
Ngkaler dowk, sabik ko ngabor nyughuh nneingok jer dulu segoner. Bukei nyughuh balik lajor poan.
Waser lok jantoang klabu asak diyer nte biler ong ngabor diyer nggitu gayer.
Ah bukei diyer nte waser! Oghang laeng ni howk lampaaa kisowk nyer. Tok tesughawh ke babei nte.
Ssudu memanyowk, kuwoh ntoh maner dataang.
Ah, howk tangkak wak tu lah.
Palih laa yak?
Ihhh…waser nowk mek luku ke, lutu ke, ssekehh kek paler mmaseng ni kaghang.
Ho’oh owk. Lepeih te amik kek gambo mater nte buntaaang, antor plowk ke kedei Lee Naaang.
Eh, enchipoat laluu.
Biak biak biak biak biak!
Ghebeih, ghebeih!


*Please email enida@mail.com if you would like to get a copy of a translated version.