Questa è Enida

If she is just being emotional, calm her down. Enough of asking why she is being emotional. There are things you can reason. There are things you just let be. She is just missing her Daddy.

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When she can’t explain why she feels certain feelings because she is just a child, stop being a professional engineer. All she needs is just a dad to say, “It’s all right.” You’re not constructing world’s longest hanging bridge.

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Just like the two of us, she too, is Work In Progress.

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Mommy: Okay Monch, no more Humpty Dumpty. Close your eyes.

Edrick: But I still want to read.

Mommy: You’re going to have a tough time getting up tomorrow morning.

Edrick: I promise there won’t be any hanky panky, Mom.

Mommy: Huh? Hanky panky? What do you mean hanky panky?

Edrick: I mean I won’t go hanky panky and panic when I get up for school, Mom. I promise!

Mommy: Hahahahahahaha! Okay, so hanky panky is like panicky you mean?

Edrick: Yes, Mom.

Mommy: Okay then. If you hanky panky tomorrow, I’ll panky spanky you. I promise.

Edrick: Good night sweet Mommy.

Mommy: Now don’t you do that hanky panky on me, young man.

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Of late, I feel like I am being bombarded with mature questions immaturely by me Monchies. And the questions mostly revolve around the situation I am in with their father. Like why we are not together when we are supposedly married, why is there a third person on the other side and none on this side, and why do people stop loving one another. And you can imagine so many  other wise why’s coming from Kitreena and Edrick.

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The night after Edrick’s desperate attempt in match-making me with his classmate, Adam, we had yet another conversation.

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Edrick: Mommy, what do people do when they get married?

Mommy: Hmmm they do a lot of things together.

Edrick: Things like what?

Mommy: Oh they err… uh… they cook together, they eat together, they do housework together, err… uh… they go places together. Anything. Everything together.

Edrick: Do they hold hands together?

Mommy: Oh yeah, they hold each other’s hands whenever they can. They do this too. They rub each other’s back. *rubs Edrick’s back like she always does at bedtime*

Edrick: But I am not your husband.

Mommy: Of course you’re not! But married people do whatever feels nice to each other.

Edrick: Then, who’s going to rub your back Mom? Who’s gonna make you feel nice?

Mommy: Hmmmmmmmm… nice question, Monch. *thinks of her Kingsize bed, the six pillows and Mr. Cocoa*

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Edrick: Mommy can I call Daddy from your electric phone?

Mommy: No sweetheart.

Edrick: Why not?

Mommy: You just Skyped with him yesterday. Maybe he’s busy today.

Edrick: But Mommy, if he knows it’s me, he won’t be busy. He’ll talk to me.

Mommy: I’m sure he will Monch. But he’s at work. Let’s wait til Saturday, ok?

Edrick: *is upset* I wish when Adam grows up he will marry you!

Mommy: Adam? You mean, Adam your best friend at school?

Edrick: Yes. He will be an adult. I wish he would marry you and love you for 200 days!

Mommy: But I want someone who can love me longer than 200 days.

Edrick: How long did Daddy love you Mommy?

Mommy: Uhh… 12 years.

Edrick: 12 yeeeaaarrrsss? That’s very long!

Mommy: Yeah! Too long for him.

Edrick: Don’t worry Mommy, I will love you for 200 days and 200 years.

Mommy: Oh thank you, sweetheart! *feels safe now and thinks, ‘Who needs Adam, eh?’*

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Saying goodnight is getting more and more challenging these days with Kitreena. While I do enjoy the bed-talk, the cuddles, the giggles and the many thought-provoking topics, I shouldn’t be entertaining half of her theories, really! And at bedtime the other night, out of nowhere…

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Kitreena: Mom, could you please have another baby?

Mommy: *chokes on her reply* Another what?

Kitreena: Another baby. And a baby girl please. I want a baby sister.

Mommy: Where did this come from?

Kitreena: Mommm please, it would be really nice if there’s a baby in the house.

Mommy: *is still very much flabbergasted* But I can’t have a baby without a husband.

Kitreena: Why not?

Mommy: Because a woman needs a man to get a baby.

Kitreena: You mean you need a husband to get pregnant?

Mommy: Uh, yeah!

Kitreena: I don’t get it. But the baby is going to be in your tummy.

Mommy: Yes, it is. But my tummy needs a husband to make it pregnant. *tries not to be too explicit to an eight-year old*

Kitreena: Ohhhhh! Is that why people get married? To get babies?

Mommy: Well, not all. But mostly. Yes.

Kitreena: Hmmm… since Daddy doesn’t want to be your husband anymore, you have to get a new husband, Mom.

Mommy: Well, maybe I don’t want a new husband.

Kitreena: But how are you going to get another baby then?

Mommy: Maybe I don’t want another baby.

Kitreena: Mommy, please?

Mommy: It’s not as easy as getting a fish at the market you know. Besides, who would want to be my husband.

Kitreena: *smiles very widely*

Mommy: Oh come on now baby, it’s bedtime. Good night! *tries not to smile*

Kitreena: But Mommm, I really do want a baby sister. *pouts*

Mommy: I’ll go fishing tomorrow then. Good night Monchhh!

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It was our usual kissy-kissy sniffy-sniffy session saying goodnight shortly before 8pm while waiting for Kitreena to finish brushing her teeth.

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Mommy: Who is your best friend at school now, Monch?

Edrick: Jayden and Adam.

Mommy: Oh still those two?

Edrick: Yeah, because they’re my boys.

Mommy: What about Anooj?

Edrick: Yeah, she is too. But she’s a girl.

Mommy: That’s all right. Does she still like to kiss you at school?

Edrick: Yeah, she does.

Mommy: Does she smell good?

Edrick: Yeah. But you always have the more gooder smell, Mom.

Mommy: Oh? I do? *immediately checks her armpits and knows her son is telling the truth*

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Kitreena: Mom, where are you going after this?

Mom: I’m going to make a blood donation.

Kitreena: Blood donation? But why?

Mom: Because it might help people who need it.

Kitreena: Oh you mean like when Grandma needed it?

Mom: Exactly! She got blood help from other people. So it’s my time to help other people’s moms.

Kitreena: But are you going to run out of blood?

Mom: Nohhh! They’re not going to suck my blood dry lah! Besides, my body will make new blood.

Kitreena: Oh! Hehe. How much are they going to take out from you?

Mom: Mmm just about as much as what your water bottle can contain.

Kitreena: Ooooohh! That’s banyak Ma!

Mom: Tak lah, it’s not for drinking. Hey, did you know we can donate organs too? You know what organs are?

Kitreena: Yeah, like kidneys and heart and stuff.

Mom: Smart girl.

Kitreena: But Mom, how are you going to live if you donate all your organs.

Mom: Hehhh! You don’t donate all your organs at once lah oi. That’s not donation. That’s giving up! Hahaha.

Kitreena: *chuckles* Oh you mean you donate your organ one at a time.

Mom: Well, yes. Maybe just one organ when you’re alive. And if you don’t want to do it when you’re alive, you can leave an instruction to your family. You write them a will to let them know you want to donate your organs when you die.

Kitreena: Oh you mean, when you don’t want your organs anymore?

Mom: Well, when you die, you don’t need your organs, no matter how much you want them. You don’t even need your body.

Kitreena: Oh yeah, because you only need your soul. But Mom… *pauses and looks puzzled*

Mom: Hmmm…

Kitreena: What does a soul look like?

Mom: It depends on your kindness.

Kitreena: What do you mean?

Mom: Kind people have beautiful soul.

Kitreena: It doesn’t matter what they look like?

Mom: That’s right, Monch. Doesn’t matter what their body looks like.

Kitreena: *pauses, looks at Mommy and smiles*

Mom: What?

Kitreena: Mom… I think Grandma’s soul is one of the most beautiful souls of all.

Mom: *smiles widely, weeps quietly*

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It was early morning on Thursday, the first week of school. The kids were sitting in the back seat, the radio was not on. The sun was nowhere even near the horizon, prolonging the darkness much welcomed as it made it feel it was still very early.

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Just about 200 meters after leaving home, Kitreena started humming her ‘Yippee Yai Yai Yippee Yippee Yai’ song. A few seconds after, Edrick followed suit with his Mozart’s tune he played on the piano a week earlier. And the humming went on and on and on for almost halfway the drive to school.

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My heart was so light and easy, I thought I was flying! And I promised myself that I would never ever want to miss any day like that day – for anything in the world. Anything.

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The radio remained on standby for the rest of the ride to school.

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