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Oh Sheet!

First it came down in sheets and buckets, and then it warmed up and then it melted. And after staying very slightly under zero for a few days, it came down in droplets. So by the time I put on my MOTT boots that are good for nothing else but to kill, and by the time I stepped out of the garage door to walk Edrick to school… I knew I wasn’t going to kill any Vladimir or Valeriy or Medvedev with my sexy-in-leather-boots look. All I was going to kill was my good sexy-in-leather-boots self. No go!

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I went back into the garage and put those Viking pair on. They’ve been good to me. I could go hunting in Siberia or skating in The Antarctica for all I care, the boots would never let me fall. Down.

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But I spoke too soon.

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The intersection between the Pokrovsky Boulevard and the Waterview Lane looked just fine and dry to my tropical eyes when Edrick and I were crossing it hand in hand. It happened too fast. What fall doesn’t? The next thing I knew, my behind that was tightly wrapped in a layer of Bogi stockings, a tight corduroy skirt and in a Dixie Chic RUB20K coat was right there! On the piece of sheet! Oh sheet of ice! Oh sheet!

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No Viking boots could have saved me. No Bogi stockings could have spared me. No tight corduroy skirt could have helped me. No expensive coat could have held me from falling. Nyet! None! But the saving grace was… there was no one around!

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When I went home and when it was time to take it all off… I was quietly thankful for the thickness of my cushion. It sure saved me from the sheet.

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Oh sheet! Now that I am so thankful for my tight thick bottom, I don’t feel like running that 10km to shake me bumbum.

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