There’s so much to tell about an afternoon with a man who’s no longer wearing our wedding band. So much. But I am drained of words to even begin telling myself that we met, we hugged for the longest time, we sat, we talked, we touched and we cried. Yes, the two of us. I am home now and still asking myself, did we really? This song, playing on the radio on my way home was just a home-run for me.
.
Sometimes When We Touch
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I’d rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I’m only just beginning to see the real you
.
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
.
Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I’m just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth
.
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
.
At times I’d like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I’d like to break through
And hold you endlessly
.
At times I understand you
And I know how hard you’ve tried
I’ve watched while love commands you
And I’ve watched love pass you by
.
At times I think we’re drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again
.
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
.
When we met up and sat down for a few hours today to finally talk for the first time in probably years, I knew… it was then that our fears and dreams collided. I wished we had sat down and talked like that a year ago. Things would have been different. Fears and dreams, or even moon and stars could collide for all that collision’s worth… things would have been different.
.
I’m hurting. And I am tired of hurting. I have been strong. And I am tired of being strong too. So when I am still crying and tired of crying… I asked God as to why He made me and filled me with so much love, it hurts. I haven’t got any answer. So I am praying. And pray that I am never going to be tired of praying, and tired of loving.
.
I am taking that walk again tomorrow and I know, God will be running towards me – with or without an answer.
.
Questa è Enida 
Thanks for sharing this again – I wish there wasn’t so many miles between us. It is a much longer path to recovery this time.
a heart filled with so much love wants not to end loving, and wants to go on hurting. But love is hurt! To love is to be hurt….
It is to be loved which brings eternal happiness.
Oh Enida, the strength which you have in you could rearrange the entire solar system, not just the moon and the stars. I saw that when I came for a visit the other day. I would have just cried and cried if I were to relay the stories of my heart to a friend, but not you. You had that “I will be ok” smile carved on your face.
If love doesn’t hurt so much then it would just be made out of porcelain, pretty to look at, lovely to the touch but all empty and hollow inside. Love is Life itself I guess, it lives, breathes, and dies, only memories stay on. So keep the good ones Enida and chuck the bad ones far far away for your heart will heal and new love will grow within.
You’ll be okay Enida dear, I know you will, in fact I’m counting on you.
I’ll come visit…only when you feel like having some noise around alright.