Questa è Enida

The other day, just like many days since we arrived in Moscow… Edrick and I were doing the so-called role call of all the immediate women in our life – his aunties. He must have been wondering a lot about these wonder women that this time, the other day, he initiated the role call. Many times before, it was me wondering a lot and wondering aloud about those wonder women that I could not help but asking: “Edrick, where’s Aunty _____?”

Edrick came up with all sorts of answers just for the sake of answering his wonder-full Mommy. Like, Aunty Mas is in the bafwoom upstairs. Or Aunty Pet went to get some food. Aunty Reen went to the hospital with Grandma. Aunty Lisa, Aunty Chin, and even Aunty Yati (the helper of Uncle Jordan, our beloved neighbor in Country Heights) made it to his list of this so-called role call. I am blessed with children who are blessed with good memory. They remember. They make me remember at times when I don’t even forget. They recall. Hence the role-call, I guess.

Well, the other day, doing the role call, unlike the many times we did before… Edrick asked me:

Mommy, where’s Untoo Mas? (That’s how he pronounces the word aunty: ‘untoo‘.)
Ohh she’s in Amsterdam today. Eh, no that was yesterday. Aunty Mas is probably on her way to Venice now from Munchen.
Munchen?
Yeah, Munchen. Munich.
Monique?
Hmmm… no, wait. Was that last week? Ohhh she’s probably in Rome already. I am not sure.
You’re not shorrrrr? Where’s Untoo Pet?
She’s with Aunty Mas.
Wherrrre? In Wome?
I suppose. They could be out gallivanting-ing in Paris. I don’t know. Let me text her later ok?
Ok.

Mommy.
Hmmm.
Mommeee…
Yes.
Where’s Untoo Ween?
Aunty Reen is in Malaysia.
Mewayyzhaa?
Yes.
With Untoo Weesa?
Yes, with Aunty Lisa.

Mommy.
Iyyyerrrr.
Where’s Untoo Nana?
Huh, Aunty Nana is in Singapore Zoo!
No Mom! She’s nawt! She’s just in Singaporrr. Nawt the zooooo.
Who’s in the zoo then?
It’s for animals in twubble Mom. Untoo Nana is not in twubble.
Too much Wonder Pets betul lah ko ni!

Mommy.
Mmmm.
Mommy!
Yesss.
Where’s Untoo Chin?
Aunty Chin is in Hong Kong?
Ongkong?
Haiii hieuong kong.

Mommy.
Mmmm.
Mommy!
Iyyyyyerrrrrr!
Where’s Bibik?
Bibik’s in Indonesia.
Bibik’s not in Mewayyzhaa? In the house mumberr fffirrtee-one?
No, Bibik’s not in Malaysia. Bibik’s in her house in Indramayu.
Demaiiyouu?
Ye. Indramayu. She’s with her family.
Her fammewee is in the house mumberr fffirrtee-one?
No monch. There’s nobody in the house number thirty-one.
No bahddee?
Nope.

Edrick went silent for a few good seconds and I could see how rapid his eye movement was. If it were in complete rotations, his eye movement would be at the speed of all the way to 900 rpm, I could count and guarantee you.

Mommy.
Mmm.
Mommeeee…
Mmm.
Mommeeeeeeee!
Iyyyyerrrr! (Edrick will not say what he wants to say if you don’t say ‘yes’ or ‘iyer’ to his calling your name.’Hmmm’ and ‘Mmmm’ are not acceptable.)
I wanna go home to house mumberr fffirrtee-one. Bibik’s waiting for meee.
No monch, there’s no one in house number thirty-one now. This is our home…number nine. In Russia.
No, my home is mumber fffirrtee-one. Evewee one is waiting for meee in Mewayyzhaa! Not Washa Mommm!

I don’t think the reality has quite sunk in with Edrick yet. After all, this reality – of not having Bibik around after five years of being spoiled rotten – has qualified me a place in the zoo – I am an animal in trouble!

To all the Mewayyzhian Untoo‘s in my son’s life… here’s a toast to your being international! I can take my boy out of Mewayyzhaa, but I can’t take Mewayyzhaa out of my boy. We’ll be back for a few days at house mumberr fffirrtee-one soon.

Aunty Mas
Aunty Pet
Aunty Reen
Aunty Lisa
Aunty Chin
Aunty Lailey
Aunty Nor
Aunty Yanie
Aunty Yatie
(Aunty) Kakak Tri
Aunty Sherina
Aunty Karen
Aunty Sia Peng
Aunty Yuhana
Aunty Lindt
Aunty Gee
Aunty Salbiah
Aunty Jamila
Aunty Petra
Aunty Lirang
Aunty Marilyn
Aunty Dawn
Aunty Carolyn
Aunty Bibik! Hhhuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I am trying not to remember.

(Menulis catatan ini dalam perjalanan pulang ke nombor tiga-puluh-satu, terbang bersama Sutera Diraja Siam melalui Bang Makok. Kitreena tidak dapat menerima hakikat kami tidak meneruskan penerbangan langsung ke Bandung dan menaiki bas ke Indramayu bertemu Bibik. Aunty Mas masih di Kota Asmara. Aunty Reen masuk minggu ke limabelas menanti monchy ketiga. Aunty Lisa… kopitiam time-out akan datang akhir minggu ini. Ke garisan! Aunty Chin akan diculik minggu depan dalam masa beberapa jam di Bangsar Village tanpa ugutan meminta wang pampasan, cuma ole-ole dari Hong Kong jika beliau mau selamat. Akan tetapi antara Amsterdam, Munich, Venice, Rome, Paris, Kajang, Bangi, Bangsar, Hongkong, Singapura, Bandung, Indramayu, Anyir dan Jakarta… mungkinkah kita jatuh cinta di Moscow?)