My Mom said a lot of things she never thought I would remember. She never looked like she was convinced that I was listening. Well, I never gave her the look that I was listening to a thing she was saying, either. You see, I was supposed to play that stubborn girl role – the daughter from uh… what the hell was it called again? I was given that character. That stubborn daughter character. She said so. So she got one! So?
Little did Mom know that it was all a put up. That stubborn daughter character and role thing. All put up. I was born a good listener. Just like her. Mom went on to raise a good actor she never was. And neither did Mom know that I have spent more than half of my life now trying to be a writer. Now half of what I have written is probably all that she had said; what she had said before she went all quiet on me. These days she says very very little, if any. Especially now that she is back at that bed number 15 ward number 4 on the level number 6. Lucky if she knows what number comes after number 3.
My Mom used to say, “If you have nothing good to say, say nothing.”
Now that I have nothing good to say and lost count on the number of teardrops dripping down my chin, maybe I should just go all quiet on Mom too. And on myself.
Questa è Enida 
I know how u feel intan, I’ve been in your situation b4. I hope your mom is going to be a lot better. my prayer is with u always.
Thank you for the thoughts and prayers, Nina. I believe in its powers. My Mom has Multiple Myeloma (a type of blood cancer – a little less popular than leukemia). She is at Stage 3 now (only 4 stages for this blood cancer). And what worsens her situation is that she has liver damage and no spleen. Chemo would knock her already damaged liver out, and then treating the liver would mean no chemo. It’s catch 22. It’s been over a year now. But when I am 8157km away like this, it all feels like new. The hurt is raw everytime she loses her memory, gets disoriented and weak, and is hospitalized. This is probably her 12th time if not 17th, being admitted. We have lost count.
aww kak intan….it must be depressing to know ur mom in the ward again….i’m sad too….anak baik yang mana tak bimbang kan…..hope she is doing better