At times I know I sound harsh. Most of the times, I don’t (know). Call it defense-mechanism, what-you-don’t-know-doesn’t-bother-you mechanism or whatever mechanisms have you. It doesn’t bother me what and how you label others. It doesn’t bother me what and how you label me. I am comfortable in my own brown skin (semi-D Chinese, half-hitched Indian, duplexed Malay skin). Yes, I am made up of more than just 100 percent of anything, everything. 1Malaysian. Proudly.
But behind the hard-boiled, hard-core harshness… I am just a child who has just lost her Mommy. I am just a Mommy who has just lost her Monchies’ grandma. And I am just a sailor who has just lost her pharos, her anchor and her true north. If I am a bit too harsh, too arrogant to be seen drop-dead crying the Oprah’s ugly cry, and if I chose to still be that drop-dead gorgeous WordPress blogger woman… gimme a break lah kan. Even a diva needs that Azean Irdawaty’s anak wayang moment.
I’m coping I’m hoping. And I’m hoping I’m coping. And I’m gone… acting tough.
Light, camera, action!
Postlude:
Ehhh! Chicheyyy pulawk kemeira koi ni tadi ateh lemaghi howk dekeik ngei telipoang te. Poh palih peluper nyer! Denggg!
Questa è Enida 
Enida, I am truly sorry that I left a ‘sorry’ note now that I realised that ‘sorry’ is not appropriate after reading your recent entry.
Can I rephrase my sentence?
Here it is: My heartfelt condolence to you and your family for the passing of your mother. Let’s hope and pray together that she will be happy in heaven.
Oh about the totebag, I’ve sent it already because I’ve been keeping it for too long. My son is messing my table and have been taking all my things and later forgot where he put my thngs. I am so afraid that he will tear the package, that’s why I have to send it. Anyway, no worries, you can still order, I’ll be glad to make my trip to the little post office just for you.
Enida, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman. Amin.
Thank you, Emila. Amin. I am sure she is in a happier place with The Almighty Creator.
I apologize for not being online for a while, and for not finishing the order like I promised to do within a week since my last message. The next thing I knew, one week had turned into three! Will definitely do it soon, now that I know I am returning to Moscow on November 7th.
Thank you again for reading and leaving a comment. Take care, Emila. Lots of hugs.