Years ago, someone I went to university with had this habit of overusing the “You know what I mean?” expression. Even after I did everything I could – and applied everything I learned in the Interpersonal Communication subject – to show her that I really got what she meant, she would go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on (I can go on and on and on and on with this, too, you know what I mean?) with her sob stories. And after every second or third sentence she would say, “You know what I mean?” Sometimes with a different variation such as, “You know what I’m saying?” or “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Mind you, I knew even back then, that I was not only an active listener or a dialogic listener, I was a reflective listener. I did not only have empathy, I communicated my empathy. So I put up with her annoying habit until one day I just strangled her to death and sent her to heaven. You know what I mean? Yes, I was that mean. You know what I mean?
Well, I wish the story and the friendship would just end with something as easy as strangling her to death and sending her to heaven to end her misery. But no. It didn’t end that way. It ended with a technique called Avoidance Technique. Or sometimes known as ‘Run The Opposite Direction When You See Her And Make It Look Like An Accident’. It worked. I was just about ready to strangle myself and send my good-listener self to 
good-listeners heaven if I hadn’t adopted the technique fast enough, though.
So to Ms Mean, if you still do what you used to do (and was about to cause yourself a tragic death), please change. It has been close to 17 years since I had to use my Avoidance Technique on you, so I would truly like to believe you have grown out of it. Mind you, you are the only person I ever had to use the technique on. In later years, I actually learned different techniques. My favorite has been “Be Honest, Just Tell Them”. Thanks to the quotation I found not long after we graduated…
“The greatest consolation of all is to speak one’s mind.”
Questa è Enida 
Hey, I used to be the one people used the avoidance technique on( like it worked?!?!? la kan) But I don’t remember spilling sappy stories and using my kuku for emphasizing my “you know what I mean” points. I hardly could recall talking to anyone pun ha ha ha. But if it was me, I am sorry. Now I dah tak pakai you know what I mean dah, I “prefers” pakai “thats mean” like used by all the maybank officers (tgh marah dgn maybank punya orang la ni) mwahahaha.
Haiiii Wiz, you ni marah pun boleh mwahahaha lagi. Thats mean you are not means lah kan? Have I ever told you about MY incident dengan Maybank KLCC who said I could not open an account with them because I was not employed? I told them my not being employed did not mean I did not have income. “Wa ada lumah-lumah wa kasi sewa. Semua lumah wa punya, talak utang. Mana mao simpan ini luit? Bawah tilam meh? Lu kasi wa tau laa. Maybank tamau luit meh, apa bank talak mao luit?” Teheheeheeeeheee. 🙂
The Avoidance Technique, no biggy! It wasn’t you sebab you takde kuku. And you certainly never told me any sappy or soapy stories. So you know what I’m mean?
oh katakan tidakkkkkk….ahahhahah..i’ve totally blacked out the kuku and now everything came crashing down into such painful recollection.adakah kita berkongsi cerita orang yang sama?just tell me this, were you in kamsis burhanudin helmi before moving to taman tenaga?if yes, i think this jejak forensic might just unearth the mystery stabber….*grim,tight smile sambil reminiscing those awful awful awful painful conversations.
Oh Ida! I cannot say tidakkk! My jaw dropped to the floor and is still there. I thought I was the only victim. 😦
a variation but nevertheless as annoying and infuriating..
kau/you paham/nampak tak? sambil menstabbing stabbing lengan dengan telunjuk or siku yang without fail sangat tajam dan jika tidak dielak samada dia akan dapat pelempang free atau kita akan ter bruise dengan dasyatnyer. i don’t understand why such desperation for our comprehension, is it because they are doubting our comprehension ability/listening skills, validation for their opinions/ideas or just trying to injure us into agreeing with them.
Oh my God, Ida! I pray with all the prayers I know and prayers I hafal, that you are not describing the very same person I wrote about! Your addition (to the variation) sounds extremely and fearfully familiar. The kuku! Oh the dreaded and feared kuku! I am still scarred from the whole ordeal of one of the most injurious friendships I have ever had! I was in happy tears when I was thrown out of kamsis to get my own rental place in Taman Tenaga where I later gathered my tenaga to apply my Avoidance Technique! You know what I mean? Muahahahahahahaha!