On the way home from Edrick’s school the other day, the day I cursed the sheet, I was reminded of a neighbor from my childhood. An elderly lady who was very passionate about her grandchildren and her ayam itik Tokwi. Her name is Toksu, though, not Tokwi.
.
Anyway, Toksu was the melatah type. Anytime anything fell, or popped, or banged, or snapped… she would jump and melatah. Her words were easy to understand. Profanity is always easy to understand. But she never sounded profane for some reason. She was always that cute granny to me. But one particular latah of hers that I remember so well was when her ‘kayu sokong ampaian’ in a Y shape fell over and her ampaian was all on the ground:
.
“Oh juboq alam!”
.
Ooookay… well, I know what juboq is. To those who are not familiar with the dialect from the northern states, juboq’s standard bahasa term is jubur. And jubur is anus, simply put.
.
I immediately asked me Mommy, “Miii, juboq alam tu kat mana?” as I was imagining the Antarctica. My Mom never entertained silly questions no matter how intelligent they could sound and no matter how curious I was. So her response was just, “Hissssshhhhh! Kalau dah jubur tu kat mana lah lagi?”
.
Huh? My thought went, “Wow! That big? Sebesar alam?”
.
And just as I thought I could not imagine anything ever more explicit than the earth having a huge juboq, a thunder drummed! Rain was coming. Toksu jumped higher than the alam and cursed…
.
“Oh juboq pak hang terkoyak!”
.
To this day, every time a lightning strikes, or guruh berdentum… I get scared.
.
.
Questa è Enida 
Hahahaha! Kelakar sungguh ni. Esok kalau guruh berdentum mesti teringat cerita ni.
ROTFL ! OH GOD ! sakit mulut & pipi ku dok ketawa !!
Intan buat cu terkenang arwah Toksu..sebagai anaknya banyak lagi latahan spontan dia yang boleh buat cu ketawa sorang-sorang sampai berair mata..nantilah bila-bila kita sembang lagi pasal ni..hehehe
Komen Ummi juga dengan selambanya..
Masih terbayang Ummi akan menjegilkan mata pada anak-anaknya kalau soalan-soalan yang tak sepatutnya di tanya..
Haaaiii..indahnya kenangan masa lalu…
salam kenal…
spontaneously entertaining piece.
Salam kenal kembali, Setiakasih.
I am glad you found it entertaining! Hehe. Bet you can imagine how happy my childhood was being the next door neighbor to Toksu.
HAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Hehe Jua, I think Toksu’s profanity is way more brutal than all profanities in English (or Italian) put together. But now writing about it, for some reason, Oh juboq pak hang terkoyak! sounds cute! If I am not homesick, I must be sick! Haha.
very hilarious! can’t stop laughing. hahahhaa
Dear Farah…
It’s heart-warming to know that the entry made you laugh, luv! I have been thinking about you and have been sending you hugs in my thoughts.
Bila buku nak publish. Your writing betul betul entertaining
Nik, I have been writing and talking about publishing. Tapi tak pernah seriously mencari publisher sebenarnya. I should! Your comment just made me add another important item on my To-Do List bila balik Malaysia July nanti (kena cari publisher). Or maybe I should start emailing and calling to see ada tak publishing house yang berminat nak terbitkan my buku mengarut ni. Hehe. Thank you for the encouragement!
ehheeeheeeheeeheee… geli hati sungguh!
Ziah, I learned a lot of alternative terms for body parts from Toksu. Hehe.