Questa è Enida

Enida:
Jatuh kat sekolah. But there are two stories that cut deeper than her wounds. One is about her class teacher that has been calling her names, like ‘Blur’. And the other is about Daddy who has just ‘disappeared’. Well, not just disappeared disappeared. She said Daddy is just gone now. And she doesn’t have that feeling of how a daughter would feel for her dad anymore. It’s gone, she said. She cried for many kilometers. But she’s okay.

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KaCher:
Oh dear. She will be okay.

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Enida:
Oh she will. Sedih sangat for her. It feels like losing our Mom all over again for me. But it makes me more determined.

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KaCher:
Those people who don’t add to our value in life don’t matter anyway. They just make it easier to choose just who we can’t live without, instead.

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Enida:
Sangat! And I think Kitreena is learning to let go. That’s what hurts the most. Letting go tu. I asked her specifically if she wants to spend some time with Daddy this summer. I can let her go and visit Daddy. But she said no. She just doesn’t want to see Daddy anymore. Sebab dia kata it was painful the last time he was here. She realized that she has grown and Daddy stays the same. And every time Daddy sent an email, everything was about him. He never asked how she was doing and what was going on in her life. And now Daddy doesn’t write or call anymore.

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At this point, saya yang nangis berkilometer-kilometer kadalla. That is so her Daddy. It is always about him.

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I continued driving through the mountains with Monchies feeling that luka lama that I thought I could feel no more.

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