Questa è Enida

I did. . .

I purposely took some time away for myself and with myself to sit me down so I can write what I have been wanting to say. I really wanted to say how much I treasure this last year especially, for I have stood up for myself. For I have finally stopped letting me be a reserved player. Yes, I wanted to say it. Probably not that way, and not in those words exactly. But I wanted to say it.

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I did.

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I wanted to thank my husband (still is my husband although he has taken up another woman to sleep in our bed – his bed now, not our bed, because I left him – to clean his place top to bottom, to cook him breakfast, lunch and dinner, and to treat him right. Something he claims I never did. Or maybe something I never did right).

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I did.

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I really wanted to thank him profoundly. For all his love and appreciation. And perhaps for his speedy recovery from the pain I inflicted upon him by leaving Moscow. I wanted time and space.  Not a divorce. But since he thinks he doesn’t love me anymore and is not willing to let go of a woman who is standing by him right now – something he claimed I didn’t do – maybe I should agree that a divorce would be the best for both of us.

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I did.

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Written on: March 11th, 2011.

Published on: November 17th, 2014.

The reason for this entry not published on the date it was written:
I had to learn to let time tell the story. Words were inadequate.

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