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Archive for the ‘Inside Enida’ Category

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The funny thing about random writing is yes, I do it from the heart. It is usually about things I don’t have the heart to say outright. And not to the person I mean it for, at least. And then I would leave it for a while. Long enough for me to forget whom I write it for.
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This is one of them. And it is over a year old.
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I rediscovered it at Borders when I was copying important information from my 2017 Notebook to my 2018. Written way near the back page, it was probably my rambling early in the year, last year. Tapi itu lah… tak ingat untuk siapa.
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Now…
The good thing about random writing like this is that, it can end up being a reminder to your good old self. Perhaps my mantra this year should be, “Enida, sekali-sekala engkau perlu berhenti melayan dunia.”
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Friday, the nineteenth day of May, 0800H.
I was at Shell Hartamas. Isi minyak and had no other intentions, supposedly. But then, ternampak pulak this new-looking cafe at Shell. I thought, okaylah. Singgahlah sekejap breakfast. (Alasan biasa to have my morning ‘Enida Time’.).

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It was indeed a new, and nice-looking cafe. Well lit. Macam IKEA. I took my food, got to the cashier, said my bubbly ‘good morning’…

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Hi, Ms Enida.

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Hah?
I touched my chest for a reality-check. I haven’t worn my name-tag since my last training session at Markas Udara, TLDM. Bagus betul cashier ni, I thought. Siap sebut nama. But I didn’t have my silver-shining EC name-tag on.

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Saya Siti, last time dekat McDonald’s Pandan Mewah. Saya pernah ikut training Puan.

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Oh!
I was all smiles dan hati berbunga-bunga ungu macam bunga ‘Thankful’ on Facebook. And as I was sitting having breakfast this morning, there was a song playing on repeat in my head.

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Sometimes you wanna go
where everybody knows your name.
And they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see
the troubles are all the same.
You wanna be where everybody knows your name.

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Sering

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Yang sering hilang di antara mata pena dan kegilaanku adalah waktu.

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Handwriting

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Se-Mentara

Kalau nak sangat sedih,
biar sedih betul-betul.
Sedih habis-habis.
Sebab sedih itu,
dalam sakit dan perih-payahnya,
sementara.

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Kalau nak sangat menangis,
biar menangis betul-betul.
Menangis habis-habis.
Sebab menangis itu,
dalam pedih dan bengkak-bengkilnya,
membasuh jiwa.

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Sedih lah. Menangis lah.
Penat sedih, penat menangis nanti, kita berhenti.
Letih sedih, letih menangis nanti, kita berdiri.

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Tak mati.IMG_5194
Ada masa lagi.

 

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*Enida
Mesra Terrace
15 Disember 2015

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Tulis lah…

Selamat Hari Bapa, Guruku...

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This Is All You

Ocean deep...

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I have suspicions
that this is all you.

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And just as you are,
striking to the core of the heart
with merciless sweetness.

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I can no longer fault
the legions of men
who have been brought
to their knees by you.
With a voice such as this
yet harrowing haunting words,
you both sail ships
as well as sink them.

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Thank you for this.
It is beautiful.
I am ever captive.

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*This Is All You

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Ketika Duka

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Tahajjud Cinta

Kau datang ketika duka
Dan bintang bercahaya
Tunjukku ke jalan syurga

Ku haus di tengah laut
Lemas mencari tempat berpaut
Kirimkan aku kekuatan
Peta pedoman di kesesatan

Ku sunyi dalam gembira
Perit pedih tanggung derita
Sungguh aku bukan wali
Yang suci dari hina dan benci

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