Questa è Enida

Lama saya tak makan hati.
Bukan tak ada hati, tapi jadi tawar hati sebab dua tiga kali yang terakhir saya membeli, banyak hati yang tak bersih. Termasuklah semalam. Hati yang sampai masih ada hempedu nya. Mempedal yang saya terima terlalu banyak lemaknya.

Saya berkecil hati.

Sudahnya saya buang saja semua mempedal, jantung dan limpa kerana tak sanggup nak membelah mempedal untuk membuang tahi, membelah jantung untuk membuang darah beku. Limpa pula cuma ada satu. Lupakan saja! Saya bersihkan hati dari segala kehijauan hempedu, ketulan darah beku, lemak-lemak yang menempel. Lalu saya garam-kunyit dan serbuk ketumbarkan dia dan goreng sesuka hati saya.

Mempedal yang bertahi mengingatkan saya…
Sekitar penghujung tahun 70an, my parents tried rearing a couple of chicken. It was most likely 1977 — I remember the year because I was still the youngest child then. Tapi bila tiba-tiba we had an unexpected guest, somebody high-up in the Cekak Harimau association who was coming for lunch, my parents had to sacrifice their chicken. Seemed to me it was the first time my mother had to clean chicken she reared herself. She cried, threw up and obviously was not happy.

I can’t recall apa yang mak saya masak untuk hidangan makan siang menjamu tetamu kami hujung minggu itu. Saya cuma ingat, mak saya tak sentuh langsung masakannya sendiri. She made us (my Irish twin sister, Mas and I) watch how she siang the ayam. She specifically dissected the mempedal to memburaikan tahi dan segala isi di dalamnya. The chicken’s throats were still full of jagung, she cleaned that too. Her face was red and wet with tears and sweat. She gagged and muntah a few times, but the chicken dishes were ready in no time.

While our guest, I had no idea what his name was, makan dengan sangatlah berselera nya, mak saya sambung konon sibuk di dapur rumah kecil kami di Kampung Jana Baru itu memotong semangka. She didn’t eat anything at all. Selepas makan dan basuh tangan, since we didn’t have any serviette or tissue back then, our guest showed me how he dried his hands pahlawan style! Itu saya ingat sampai sekarang. I do it almost every time saya makan di restoran yang tak menyediakan tisu berdekatan dengan tempat cuci tangan. Pahlawan sangat!

My parents never reared any more chicken after that foodful day. I never saw any mempedal (gizzard) full of tahi again until yesterday. Looking back, I am not sure if my mom actually sedih having to cook ayam yang dibela sendiri or she genuinely geli having to gut the gizzards. She let everyone makan ayam puas-puas that day. Us kids especially. Di tahun-tahun 70an dulu, ayam adalah lauk orang kaya. It was a meal to brag about! I heard that the Cekak Harimau guy was a rich man, so my parents must have been segan kalau hidang lauk ikan sepat masin atau telur masak kicap saja.

We did not have any chicken meal for quite a while after that special lunch. But less than a year later, ada telur baru menetas in our family. My Irish twin sister and I got ourselves a little sister.

Hati saya berbelah bagi.