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Archive for the ‘Inside Enida’ Category

Second Best

Posted in Inside Enida on November 3, 2011| Leave a Comment »

God has a way of sending His message to us. Sometimes He even sends a messenger to tell us the very things that we have told ourselves and forgotten.

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These last few years I have been telling myself that love is time. I told that to myself so many times, I actually believed it, lived by it and was ready to die with that very faith tattooed to my soul.

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But this year, I have been forgetting that. I have not been telling myself that ‘love is time’. I have been busy making time for those I love, that I didn’t realize I have forgotten to ask myself if I have had time for Enida. I have forgotten to notice if there is anyone who would love me enough to spend time for me. With me.

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And as the story goes, Aurelia stopped by the other day. She was going to walk with the kids, doing trick-or-treating, but we got talking. And for two women who chat once or twice a year, how did she know I used to tell myself that people who love you will always have time for you? When they don’t have, they make.

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Yes, always. If they have an excuse or a reason why you are not the top priority… they are not for you. It is so complicated that it is actually quite simple. Life is about making choices. Good or bad.

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I am gone to spend time with Enida.

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Dalam Ragu

Posted in Inside Enida on October 30, 2011| 2 Comments »

Seharian saya duduk membaca tulisan-tulisan lama saya. Niatnya nak menulis yang baru sebab banyak cerita baru. Semalam lagi saya dah bagi amaran kepada Monchies supaya saya jangan diganggu hari ini. Jangan ganggu, jangan mintak itu ini, jangan buat lawak, jangan panggil pun saya Mommmy selama satu hari.

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“Can I come to your room to say Selamat Pagi, Mom?” tanya anak saya yang kissy-kissy. “Tak! Tak boleh!” jawap saya serius tapi bergurau. Mukanya mencemik, tak puashati dengan kesibukan saya. Saya jarang sibuk begini. Sebab saya jarang menguntukkan waktu untuk menulis. Tak pernah tidak, saya relakan diri saya di’ganggu’ oleh permintaan Monchies yang macam-macam.

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Seharian saya duduk membaca tulisan-tulisan lama saya, seperkara yang saya sedari ialah… saya ini dulunya banyak sedih. Banyak beralah. Banyak menurut. Jauh saya tinggalkan semua yang saya sayang kerana cinta. Untuk cinta. Ah konon! Hari ini saya tak lagi sedih. Semua yang saya sayang ada dekat saya. Dalam ragu saya tahu, cinta itu ada.

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Cuma cinta telah buat saya ketawa.

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To You

Posted in Inside Enida on September 12, 2011| Leave a Comment »

There are times when I don’t have to try hard at all to come up with the right things to say. But there are times like now.

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I have not been feeling like myself. So if I sound like I am out to get you, that is not me. And whoever she is, I am asking if you could find it in your heart to forgive me. Yes, me. Whoever I am, to you.

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Lebih

Posted in Inside Enida on August 29, 2011| Leave a Comment »

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Apakah sedih itu lebih baik daripada marah?

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Beban

Posted in Inside Enida on August 29, 2011| Leave a Comment »

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Dihukum rindu.

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Looking For Words

Posted in Inside Enida, Sense on August 1, 2011| Leave a Comment »

At the moment, in my life, I am not looking for anything much anymore. Not that I have everything. I believe no one can really have everything. And not that I must have everything anyway. I am doing not too bad. My needs are fulfilled, my wants are minimal. I am blissfully blessed.

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So, yeah. I am not looking for anything much anymore. All that I want, I have. And all that I have, I want. I just have to learn how to appreciate what I have… more. Spend my time more with those who matter to me. Those who will be there when I come home. Those who will pick up the phone when I call, pick me up when I fall. I am greatly grateful.

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So if I look at you, and you have neither time nor interest in looking back, I will turn away. I am nice that way. I don’t waste your time. Or mine. And I don’t do that love thingamajigs anymore either. It seems to come too easy to too many people lately. I will just concentrate on counting my blessings.

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So, yeah. I am going to make sure that I smell as good as FlowerbyKenzo, and I mean every word I say. Whatever I say.

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The rest is His work.

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Good by July

Posted in Inside Enida, Sense on August 1, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Contentment is not about having what we want, but about wanting what we have..

I had you. I had wanted every bit of you, enjoyed every minute with you, taking you as you were. The simplicities and complexities all inclusive. Yes, all. I even welcomed the pain, the friction, the envy, the fights, the crisis and the impossibilities of a future with you.

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Until…

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July. Another lie. And another goodbye.

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Right Away

Posted in Inside Enida on July 31, 2011| Leave a Comment »

There are many things expected of me. As there are many things I was supposed to be. But then again, there are many things I have fulfilled. As there are many things too, that I used to be. But who is there for me at times when all I could be is just me?

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I have been a listener. But even a great listener needs to speak sometimes. I have said my piece and I have been called a mistake. So I walk away, with all my unspoken words. And with all my thoughts, prayers and love… I’ll make it right somehow, somewhere. Away. Right away.

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I’ll be all right, soon.

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…

Posted in Inside Enida on July 28, 2011| Leave a Comment »

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Nanti.

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You’ll forget me by and by. Yes you will.

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Sekali Lagi

Posted in Inside Enida, Songs on July 23, 2011| Leave a Comment »

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It’s a four letter word
a place you go to heal your hurt
it’s an altar, it’s a shelter
one place you’re always welcome
a pink flamingo, double wide
one bedroom in a high rise
a mansion on a hill
where the memories always will
keep you company
whenever you’re alone
after all of my running
I’m finally coming…

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Home…
the world tried to break me
I found a road to take me… home
there ain’t nothing but a blue sky now
after all of my running
I’m finally coming… home

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Well they say it’s where the heart is
and I guess the hardest part is
when your heart is broken
and you’re lost out in the great wide open
looking for a map
finding your way back
to where you belong
oh well that’s where I belong

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Home…
the world tried to break me
I found a road to take me

Home…
there ain’t nothing but a blue sky now
after all of my running
I’m finally coming

Home…
Home….

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Home…
the world tried to break me
I found a road to take me… home
there ain’t nothing but a blue sky now
after all of my running
I’m finally coming
after all of my running
I’m finally coming…

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Home.

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