Posts Tagged ‘Anger’

Anger Movement

The Masak Lemak Tauge Soya for my vegan daughter was already boiling on the stove when I realized I was out of daun kunyit. Too late, although I stormed outside frantically hoping there was a pot of turmeric plant left by Bibik Cas in her garden. Teda bah. And serai didn’t quite do it as a substitute. This was last week.

So I looked high and low for turmeric leaves when Kitreena and I were at Mercato yesterday. And what I had to pay for it angered me in more ways than not. At my Dad’s place, there are pots upon pots of turmeric bushes it’s not even funny! Makan tak habis, they fill almost every corner of his backyard.

I was angry and kinda kicked myself for not being bothered to ever even THINK of taking a pot of those ‘gold leaves’ home. So now padan muka I had to spend RM0.95 for one #$&@*?! single piece of turmeric leaf in the city.

That anger was so intense, it moved me!
It moved me back to the fresh produce section to get these…

Nampaknya esok ada yang kena tanam hidup-hidup.
Siap kau, kunyit!



Read Full Post »

Over A Year

A few have asked why I am sounding like I am not over it. I have a big smile everytime I am asked, though. Do I really sound like I am not over it? Like I am still angry about it, like I am reheating it, gearing up for a big burn, burst or bomb or something? Well, if that is how I am sounding to you, you obviously don’t know me well. You have not seen how I dealt with anger.


Those who know me well, know… that silence is always The Resort I check my anger in. Which has been, with this anger for what happened about a year ago now. When I was driving from Nikko Hotel to Ampang to ask Mrs. X to face me, I was determined that it was her who needed to see me. She needed to see that this face, this person, this Enida comes with a heart. Enida’s heart can break just like hers can. The only difference was, she was not worth the heartbreak. She could bark and bite, and oh she’s got teeth alright, but she could not break my heart!


And I was going to give her the message of closure that 10 years earlier, the man was head over heels with me too… and I did not take him away from anyone. He was a free man. We did not build our marriage on the foundation of lies, mess and heartbreaks. The 10 years we had were the happy years until his job took him away from his family, and until childbearing and childrearing took me away from me. But when I got there, and when I was at her gate, my anger subsided. I was overwhelmed with the energy from my decision of courage.


I am not angry now, no. I am simply telling you a story from my side of the gate. And telling this story takes courage, not anger. You must be mistaken me for somebody else.


This is the face Mrs. X had to face - the picture taken on the very day I went to her gate. Now, is this an angry face? :)

This was the face she had to face that day.
This picture was taken on the very day I went to her gate.
Now, does this look like a face of anger?


Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: