Posts Tagged ‘Faith’

Night Prayer


Atas kesabaran hari ini… akan ada bahagia hari esok.

~ quoted by Ida Biker from Fenomena



“For today’s sorrow… joy awaits you tomorrow.”

So tonight, like every night, I pray.




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My Nameless Love

The more I am loaded with thoughts and words, the farther away I have stayed from blogging these days. I wonder why. Maybe because I have been enjoying my privacy with him. Inasmuch as we have been spending quite a bit of time alone lately. In silent voices, in unwritten words. Though all I have ever done is holding on to him, he knows I am trying my all to be the best I can possibly be.


You see, he is my secret love that everybody knows I’ve kept. Though no one has seen us together, or how gentle I speak to him even when I am angry – he remains to be an affair I have no qualm being charged for having. His name? Well, you can call him anything you want. And if you want to name him judging from how many times you know he ignored me in the past, rest assured, he can take it. Go ahead, call him names.


When he’s the most loving, the most intimate, I call him love. But when he does nothing but ignores me, I ignore him back until I am ready to thank him for his ignorance. I still call him love. That’s how our affair has stood time. This silent understanding that he owns me as much as I own myself. Whenever I ask, he gives. And then he tests. When I fail and fall, he says he just wants to see me get back up. And when I don’t, he just sits down there with me until I do get up.


For all the doubts that I have towards him, and for all that I can give him credit for, he never left me. I have wrongly accused him for hiding and walking out on me when I needed him most. Once, or maybe twice. No, five times to be exact! But as soon as my anger and sorrow subsided, I knew it was I who chose not to see. He didn’t wipe my tears when I cried. He cried with me. He never leaves. Nor does he forget.


I must admit that I have been pestered to reveal at least the name of my love. Well, for the love of my love, today, I am going to tell you this much… he is your love. Whenever you’re not with him, he’s with me. And even when you are with him, he is mine. I don’t mind sharing. Fight all you want for his name. Afterall, he has 99 other names. And that is 9801 names if you translate them into 99 other languages. Just pick the one you want. I know the one I love. 


I call him The Most Loving.




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Enida, You Need A…

When I picked Kitreena up at school on Wednesday last week, she had a little flower in her hand. Purplish little bloom, long-stem, almost like a weed kind of flower. All she wanted to do with the poor detached blossom was to put it in a cup of water. She knew it was going to come back to life and grow a whole bush of purplish little blooms, long-stems and all. Bringing a weed back to life? Hmmm… ah well. So it’s a weed. So what. It’s still a life.


The truth was, not only that I had no faith that the single stem purplish flower could be revived, I also had no care for the weed. Until…


The weed made a comeback!


Kitreena proved me wrong!


I think Enida needs to learn a thing or two about faith from a child. She really does!


I now know that a weed can be as beautiful as the child that cares for it. I put my faith on the kitchen countertop now.


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