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Posts Tagged ‘Sense’

Push My Buttons

When it comes to work, I am fussy, I am pushy, I am serious, I am merciless, I am relentless, and I am a bitch — if not a classic asshole. I swear I am! And I don’t think any of my staff would disagree with this confession. Tak kiralah staff sebelum-sebelum ini, atau staff yang ada sekarang. Saya memang cerewet, banyak songeh and super duper hard to please.

As much as I am that boss from hell, I don’t believe in harsh words, though. Maki-hamun or mencarut is not my style. You won’t find me spitting profanities from my mouth, neither will you be able to capture a screenshot of bad words in my text. Nope. And I am not the bebel type either. I have repeatedly told all my staff that I don’t like repeating myself. But lessons will keep coming to them until they learn. Ironic, bukan?

I have, nonetheless, used a lot of “Aduiyai!” to express my frustrations, yes. When I don’t get the quality of work I expect, I do use “OMG!” and “Ya Allah!” followed by a few minutes of silence to send some suspense and to create some nerve-wrecking tension. Yes, I have used that too. But if you say you have heard my macam jantan voice at work, bertempik berteriak marah-marah campak barang like there’s no tomorrow… you bear false witness through and through. Baik-baik sikit ya.

Saya bagi contoh satu kerja yang paling mencabar di Airwings — ambil gambar barang/product. Since part of our sales is still supported by our online shoppers, my ultimate goal is to give as much information of our items based on pictures and product descriptions. Gambar memang sangat-sangat penting. I don’t think I need to membebel why lah kan. Kita nak beli barang yang tak ada depan mata. Faham-faham saja lah.

Hence, the requirement is painfully simple:
Ambil gambar dari beberapa sudut pandangan.

Untuk items yang flat like patches, the first picture has to be eye level. Maka sebaiknya lekat saja di dinding so people will see them as if they were shopping at our gallery. Our walls are all covered with blue felt/carpet, and the blue carpet is covered with our patches. And as for the 3D items like coins, caps, pins, metal badges, etc. gambarnya mestilah diambil dari pelbagai arah.

Maka saya pun berilah contoh…

Pertama, gambarnya mestilah tegak. Berdiri atau baring, boleh belaka.
Asalkan tegak.

Seterusnya ambil lah gambar yang menunjukkan bentuk, ketebalan, dan bahagian lain yang tak dapat dilihat daripada gambar pertama.

Unlike Product Description yang memaparkan maklumat item dalam perkataan dan nombor, a picture worths a thousand words.
Gambar yang baik tak perlu kata-kata.

Another picture from another angle might help potential buyers in making their decision: To buy or bye-bye.

“Walau dari sudut mana pun kau lihat diri ini,
walaupun dari atas sekali semua adalah sama.”

Ini contoh sebenar untuk menunjukkan betapa fussy, pushy dan seriousnya saya dalam bab kerja. It took a lot of time to guide, instruct, educate, assist and facilitate learning. It still does. The new generation, as I have learned the hard way, cannot be led by example anymore. They don’t even look at examples! How lah? Saya nekad untuk cuba lagi sekali memahamkan staff apa yang saya mahu.

Tengoklah tu, sampai menitik peluh jantan staff jantan saya bila mesej, “Faham Puan.”

Kan saya dah kata, I’m a bitch when it comes to work. Saya tak peduli, staff nak menyampah ke, staff nak menyumpah ke. Yang saya tahu, kerja mesti jalan, dan jalan mesti lurus. Jalan lurus ni biasanya jauh. Lambat nak sampai, payah nak capai. But I also know that more often than not, people can do better if they are given enough push.

Well, I might toil like a horse. But deep down, I know…
I am that Pushycat Doll.

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Soy What?

I strictly believe that the adjective stupid is never meant for a person. It is to describe an action taken by a person. Or in the case I am about to ramble on about – hopefully not so much in a desultory manner – stupid is probably to describe a statement she made. Yes, it is a she. Her name is Billy Jean. But then again, I don’t particularly favor the word stupid. There is always a smarter way of saying it.

 

You see, Billy Jean is a very smart person, supposedly. Well, for a young engineer to be recruited by an international company without any cable pulled… is pretty darn impressive. Don’t you think? She might have said that her father’s lordship should not have been made known, so as to avoid ‘influence’, but she made a mistake by making her name-stamp with Daddy’s medal-title on! Oops!

 

Not only that Billy Jean is smart, she is also ambitious. She wants to get up the corporate ladder as fast as she can, doing whatever she can. And she sure can leave her husband, to be with other fellow senior male engineers, whomever she can get her hands on. But hey, I won’t call that ambition stupid. I’d call it smartassertive! Billy Jean knows what she needs to support her expensive taste, her expensive lifestyle. She knows her limit, I am sure. And that is… uh, none.

 

And so, when Billy Jean cheated on her husband, had an affair with a couple of men from the west, got pregnant, went back to the husband when none of the men from the west wanted her or her kid, and gave birth to a baby who is whiter than her husband and herself… Billy Jean made a brilliant statement: “Oh my baby has fair skin. It must have been the soy milk I consumed the whole nine months of my pregnancy.”Drink soy milk to whiten your skin. Recommended by duh engineers.

 

Now, what adjective would you use to describe that statement? 

 

 

 

 

 

Postlude:
I don’t think she meant to be funny when she made the statement about her baby’s skin color. It sure was a laughable one, nonetheless – coming from an educated internationally exposed professional. I just hope that that wasn’t the state of her mind.

 

On that note, I should call Bunsong and order a truckload of tofu, soy milk, beancurd skin and taufu fah. I need enough soy to camouflage myself in the snow when I come tumbling down the ski hill this winter.

 

 

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