Questa è Enida

The last time I felt like this was when I lost my iPhone 3GS at the CARS car-wash place, Great Eastern Mall, Ampang — just a day before Raya 2010. For some reason and for my own sanity, I quickly detached myself from the thought and all the possibilities of finding the phone. It was perhaps my defense mechanism and my way of avoiding the stress. It was quick, it was dry and it was like a die-cut feeling.

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As fast as I could say, “Gone!”, I found myself looking at every other thing that I could be thankful for. I got  my car back, nice and clean. My kids were with me, safe and giggling away in the back seat. And I was alive! Yeah, alive and kicking myself for being so careless. But I was alive. It took me a couple months and a trip to Singapore before I got another iPhone. Losing the iPhone 3GS was an excuse for me to get an iPhone 4 — a blessing in disguise. An upgrade. Kinda.

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I didn’t lose my phone today. In fact, I didn’t lose what was even mine. But the funny thing is, I feel almost exactly as I did back then, when I lost what was totally mine! I kicked myself gently for being careless, yes… again. And I did apply the very same detachment method. But as human as I am, and as much as I don’t want to admit it, I feel the loss. You’re right, I am not usually this careless.

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Here I am… back in Room 2212 at Hyatt Regency Teluk Cempedak Kuantan, safe and not making any sound. The kids are on the beach with Bibik while I am here feeling the needs to write about this in the room that smells like Jean Paul Gaultier and the ocean. Life is good, actually. And what’s good goes on.

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For now, I have detached myself from all the possibilities and hopes of finding the two room key-cards that I, the Questa è Enida, carelessly lost while walking on the beach this morning.

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