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Port of Call

Her battle was lost during the last year of her beautiful life. She lost it. Her memory. She used to collect everything she could collect. She used to keep everything she could keep. Just so she could hang on to everything she could hang on to. So she wouldn’t forget. So she would remember it all.

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And then she forgot it all. She lost it all. She even forgot where she was. All she could hang on to was her name and where she met the love of her life. All she remembered was where she was when she was young and when she was in love.

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She was in the Port of Dickson’s. She was in love.

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And that was the last beach I took her to, on which she walked as though she knew it was her last walk on the beach. I think she knew it. What she didn’t know was where the love of her life had been. It was all gone before she could let it go. And then she let go.

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She left.

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Sampai Nanti

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Sampai Nanti

Sampai nanti
langit hilang birunya
samudera hilang gelora
dan antara kita
tak lagi ada puisi,
baru hilang sesalku
tak mengucup tanganmu.

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Enida
June 1, 2004
Karak Highway

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Outta Here

Other than songs that keep me real, I have this business that I’ve been busy keeping. The business of keeping myself busy. So, apologies to Z – my dear reader from Brunei who left a comment the other day – for not responding to your comment pronto. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment,  Z! I don’t think I have any other readers from Brunei, to tell you the truth. You’re my one and only. You, my special you! Fancy having you here!

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I am back doing one of the things I love doing… helping people learn English. It started as a baby step yesterday with two gorgeous Malaysian ladies (attached with the Malaysian Embassy in Moscow). Though at this stage it is within an informal setting, I am hopeful that this could be developed into something that would benefit both sides as learning partners.

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And to say that I had a great time meeting up with the two gorgeous Malaysian ladies is an understatement. I was 17 floors up in the air – with the view of Moskva! But the best part of our informal consultation yesterday was the first class treatment I received. Though I did not consider myself as a guest of honor, I was immensely honored when I saw these…

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These were not only what I had there,
these were what they packed for me to take home!
(Hence my arcopal dish, if you so noticed!)
Thank you, gorgeous Malaysian ladies. Thank you!

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Today, I was out having an important lunch with the representatives of the United Nations. They are from China, India and South Africa. I was representing Lok Kawi, a powerful kingdom in Borneo.

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So if you were wondering where I had been wandering… wonder no more, as I wander no more.

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I am back.

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Patutlah…

Cik Nan,

Saya rasa saya boleh tulis sebuku pantun lah. Pantun for young Malaysians yang teringin nak berkias tapi asek teringat pembayang Pak Ali pergi ke kedai jeh. Saya buat buku panduan berpantun ke… okay tak idea tu?

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But anyway, now you see what has been my mangkin. Hehehe. Even if it is all a game, a game lah. So I play lah kan. Behold! Ada lagi ni, tak abis lagi  semangat nak berpantun. Terlanjur awak dah suka pantun saya, nah… dua rangkap lagi buat melayan hati dan perasaan yang perasan. Eh tiga rangkap.

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Suasa indah menatah kutang,
gah tampan Si Malim Dewa;
Serasa pernah mata bertentang,
Wajah tersimpan di dalam jiwa.

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Ngajat tampi kedak berjamu,
mambang di laut jadi gerhana;
Hajat di hati hendak bertemu,
bimbang terpaut hati merana.

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Dupa belah dupa bertangkup,
dalam lubuknya sedari paya;
Apa salah apa tak cukup,
dalam berpunya mencari saya.

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Cakpong cakpong!
Kopitiam jom Cik Nan.

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Yang Tersangkut Itu…

Terperanjat saya bila tiba-tiba Vladimir terjun dari bumbung dan menerjah ke muka jendela ruang santai di mana meja computer saya mengadap. Kurus semangat saya! Hmmm kalaulah badan saya pun boleh kurus bila diterjah begitu, alangkah!

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Vladimir hari ini sepagian berada di bumbung rumah saya di Pokrovsky Boulevard, membersihkan salji yang tersangkut di atas sana. Kalau lah rindu yang tersangkut di hati saya ini dapat diturunkan dan dibawa pulang ke tanahair dan mencair dalam pelukan orang tersayang di sana, alangkah!

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KaCher, Chercher… I am browsing for tickets to be back as early as June dengan penuh rakusnya ini oh!

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Ehemmm, paktoh… ‘mkoy nei tang ngo Tanjung Aru loh, ok? So we can go tiu mou-tiu mou later. So long oledy mou tiu mou.

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Asal

Unfortunately, things did not go well after the Andai pantuns, that November 1996. Hence, these were written when it was all a little too late…

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Asal

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Terbang cenderawasih
Hinggap di balik kolek
Abangkah yang masih
Mengharap adik balik.

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Jenuh siakap lalu
Menyelak daun dedar
Memenuh dakap pilu
Mengelak dalam sedar.

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Menggiling udang tangguk
Mengais buah ranum
Menggeleng sedang angguk
Menangis celah senyum.

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Renggam bayan diikat
Badik sudah diubat
Menggenggam yang hakikat
Adik sudah ditambat.

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(Asal kapas jadi benang
Sudah kejap lagi kuat
Asal lepas jangan kenang
Mudah cakap dari buat!)

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Enida
March 11, 1997.
Bangi Indah.

Antara pantun dan puisi Enida dalam ‘Katakanlah

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Andai

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Andai

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Rembangkah sang petang
Meniti tali gadik
Abangkah yang datang
Mengisi hati adik.

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Menghuja dan menyengat
Sulur dalam selasih
Memujakan semangat
Menghulur salam kasih.

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Memacak relung perdu
Memarak daun pinang
Mengocak takung rindu
Mengorak senyum senang.

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Camar di Pulau Padi
Permata sulam Jawa
Melamar kalau sudi
Andai cinta dalam jiwa.

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Enida
November 1996
MINT Bangi.

Antara pantun dan puisi Enida dalam ‘Katakanlah

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Ali In Enidaland

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I don’t know what it is that has got into me lately. But to tell you the truth, I don’t really care what it is. All I know is I am so in love… with writing. Hence you see all the pantuns and sajaks coming out of my ears. If men can eat bola, drink bola, sleep bola, shop bola, kick bola, and shag their bola silly during the Cup Season, I can breakfast while writing, sleep writing, drink writing, walk writing, and oh yeah that too, writing it all in my head!

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Yesterday, I flew writing!

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This was one of the pantuns I flew writing between Arlanda and Sheremetyevo.

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I wrote this since I could not sleep during the 125-minute flight. It’s a draft, though. I might change it to:

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Pohon kuini daunnya sejuk,
sedikit tidak dipupuk lagi;
Pantunku ini pantun merajuk,
sedikit tidak terpujuk lagi.

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The second pantun is not mine. It is one that I never forget:

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Apa digarap padi seberang,
entahkan jadi entahkan tidak;
Apa diharap kasihnya orang,
entahkan sudi entahkan tidak.

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You see, I am always drawn to this kind of pantuns as compared to the Pak-Ali-Pergi-Ke-Kedai kind of pantuns. As a matter of stating my liking, I actually despise those Pak-Ali pantuns people come up with out of laziness to find better pembayang. No, no! Don’t get me wrong! I have no problem with any Pak Ali’s in my life. Never. I loved that Pak Ali from Kampung Muhibbah. He was my Achappa.

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Hmmm… suddenly I feel that I just made myself sound terribly familiar – when I mentioned how much I disliked those Pak Ali pantuns – and I decided to check it out. Guess what? I have said the same thing before!

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Regardless, if I have to say it again, I will say it again. I despise any Pak Ali who has nothing better to do but going to the shop. I could not care less what Pak Ali has to buy every time he goes shopping – rokok tiga lima ka, blachan ka, telur ayam kampong ka, ikan bilis ka, cabai kering ka, kapur sireh ka, labu ayer ka, garam kasar ka, gores api keselamatan ka, rempah kari Alagappa’s ka. Aiyoiyo kadavuley, please laa bacha! Enough Pak Ali already.

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But I once had a crush on Ali the boxer and berangan pergi ke kedai with him berpegangan tangan seiring dan sejalan.

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Balik-Balik

Saya, sampai-sampai di bumi Kremlin terus berpantun tak hingat:

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Berdendang gundah sekawan merbuk,
ibarat helang mendesah daun;
Terpandang wajah tuan di Facebook,
ibarat hilang resah setahun.

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Ewah! Idok ler teman tujukan pada sesaper pantun nih benor nye. Sajer nak menunjukkan keperasanan diri kot-kot ada yang rindu ke teman sepanjang ketiadaan teman di arena Facebook.

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Plus, the flow of ideas must have come from the sleep that I managed to have caught up on… the day I was dead in Stockholm. Thanks to the Steamed Cod on Coriander Cottage Cheese Canaloni I had – at one of the fanciest restaurants in the capital city of Sweden – the cause of my death. Wanna see what took the life out of me that day?

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Separuh nyawaku pergi the evening after eating this. At first I was going to put the blame on my crazy cravings for fish. I had had nothing but fish right from the moment I arrived in Stockholm. From Halibut to Salmon, from Salmon to Herrings, from Herrings to this Cod. And from this Cod to another bowl of mix-fish soup minutes before my first emergency landing on the bowl!

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But then, because of the poisoning drama I had in Sweden… I lost 2kg of my fishy fat and am now back to my 50kg++++++++ body. Hah, ada berapa plus signs tu, chober kigher. Nevertheless, oooohhh! I am gone singing…

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Jangan kachawww
jangan ganggooo
aku chari abang akooo
bintang felemmm
nombor sattooo

Brapppa kaleee
aku bilanggg
aku sudah ada mambanggg
rambot krentenggg
misai melintanggg!

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Curang

Charge me. Go ahead. Go ahead and charge me. I am guilty. I admit my indecency.

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It has been going on for a while now. Two, maybe three weeks. And I… I can’t contain it any longer. I can’t bear the the burden of not telling anyone about it anymore. Three weeks may be short for some, but it’s too long for my cheating heart to stand the pretense.

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I don’t know why I am pouring it out on this blog. Perhaps I am most honest in my writing. All I am asking for now, since you are reading… is your understanding that I am just a human. And oh, I could not resist the temptation.

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With this, I confess, that I have been cheating on my husband. The last three weeks I’ve been hanging my bra on another man’s hanger! Yes, I have. It is my bra. And it is his hanger. He designed it. That’s what he does. He designs. And it was this entry that started our hanging affair. Between Oklahoma City and Moscow.

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This other man and I have been having two or three emails going back and forth between us, discussing what to do with his hangers and my bras – in a secrecy that we both understand even in silence, even from a distance. I think he’s the man for me bras.

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To Jimmy (not his actual name), please accept my apologies. I didn’t mean to hang my dirty laundry bra on your hanger here for the whole world to see. But I am so excited! And I think I like it, I like it! I’m about to lose control here.

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When you do get the design patented and commercially manufactured in the states, please don’t forget to send me a box of 25 hangers. I’ve just spent hours visiting Victoria Secret in Stockholm and bought 75 new imaginary bras to keep us ‘hanging on’.

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Oh Jimmy Asmaraku, what a movie!

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Postlude:

25 of Jimmy’s bra hangers will hang 100 bras and will keep a boob job a no-job. I like it, Jimmy. I like it!

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Glossary for Jimmy:

curang = unfaithful

(Bahasa Malaysia is my mother tongue.)

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