Questa è Enida

I am out of job but not out of work.
The company I have been working with since August last year has come to the end of her rainbow. Initially, I took it as an embarrassment. But hey, I should be proud. At least to say that I stay loyal to her last breath. And I gained one of the greatest experiences ever in my career – to have trained the first batch of McDonald’s Customer Service Managers. I had fun. These coming couple of weeks, I will be finishing off, and cleaning up with work at APCC and off to a new ground.

The facelessness of Enida goes way back to the very first entry of Questa è Enida. But it seems like netizens are now able to put a face to the name. So much for being faceless, and thanks to Facebook. I shouldn’t say I have not been warned. A few friends have uploaded pictures of Enida taken not only way back when Tok Kaduk was still a baby, but also recently (when Tok Kaduk fossil has just been discovered in a mouth of a spinosaurus).

And so, I have to face up and face it. Or shall I say face down?

I have been amazed with translated terms, especially the IT and internet-related jargons. (So amazed have I been, sampai tak sempat nak update blogs – waarggghh, alasan!) The best geli translation award of course lah has to go to the term jalur lebar. I mean, hello, broadbanders-broadbanders sekalian! Why not? Everytime I TERbaca the term jalur lebar, (note the TER usage here, tak sengaja okay) what comes to mind is…all the jalurs one usually have on one’s pyjamas. And being pyjamas as all pyjamas should be…undoubtedly lebar, dok?

Hint of the post:
I’m in my pyjamas right now, enjoying my newly-connected Celcom Broadband. Lebar my sengih ni ha.

I was putting on my mascara the other day, getting ready to look presentable, to face up and to face the world, to go to work…when Kitreena asked me a rhetorical question.

“Mom, are you putting that thing on to make your eyeslashes look longer?”

I gave her an almost nod and an insincere smile.

“You mean…” (she starts her every other sentence with “you mean…” these days), “you are trying to make them look longer than MINE?”

My jaw dropped. I didn’t know there was a competition.

Kitreena came to my room to check on my temperature on a Tuesday some two weeks ago. And I was laying down helplessly at 40˚C. She was caressing my tummy, and looking up at the ceiling checking if my temperature could go as high.

“I’m warm.” I said to her.

“No. You’re not warm, Mommy. You’re hot.” said the smart cookie.

She looked at me with a little naughty smile on one corner of her lips and said, “You, hot chocolate!”

Huh? Where did she get that? But boy! I felt so hot-chocolate-CUTE for many days!

When Be is not around, things get delayed or postponed, and sometimes even cancelled. Our Christmas 2007 is still pending Russian Santa’s arrival (aka Daddy). The kids’ big birthday bash got postponed to 2008 Chinese New Year. New Year’s celebration is still on hold – this explains why there was no fireworks seen in from our master bedroom. My birthday got called off. So I am thirty-sumfing-sumfing for another year or two month.

On my birthday (that got called off), I went on and got meself a car USB player anyway. Trading in the old-but-original Kenwood that I treasured all these years, I only had to fork out RM100. I must say, I was so proud of myself that day. Thanks to me bro, Key, for keeping MY feet on the ground and keeping me from spending RM900 on an upgrade (color screen one with built-in equalizer). The RM100 also-Kenwood is already as good if not better than my old one. At Volume 23, I wouldn’t hear it if I got rear-ended! Baler!

Also on my birthday that got a strike-down, I dragged Key to Motorola KLCC to temp myself to get an upgrade for my Samsung SGH P850 (suddenly a non-3G phone is as good as obsolete!) I was of course so tempted to angkat the RAZR2V9 di hari dan waktu yang sama ok! I had to jeling Key a few times to make sure he wasn’t going to serkup me with a straight-jacket or sangkar ayam! But he looked like he was so on the kegarisan ready to grab me away from my own temptation.

I managed to refrain myself that day – and managed to leave my number to Jack Yu and ask him to call me as soon as they had a Mahogany RAZR2V9. Black didn’t quite tickle my fancy.

When Be is not around, things do get delayed. I haven’t told him how 3G’ed I am now. If he ever asked why I had to get a 3G phone, I think I’m gonna have to use the G-spot excuse. Eesshhh! Enida! Good thing I have my own G-aji.

Nevertheless…bila kau (Be) tak di sampingku, it feels like I am walking forward backwards. I don’t know where I’m going but I’m going. I can’t go fast, but I can’t slow down. (But what I miss most is those little bussess on my hair.)

How Can I Not Love You
Cannot touch, cannot hold, cannot be together
Cannot love, cannot kiss, cannot love each other
Must be strong and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walk away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot dream, cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel
Must pretend it’s over
Must be brave and we must go on
Must not say
What we’ve known all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walk away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you

Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we’ve known all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
When you are gone

Imran Ajmain

Terjumpa satu catatan lama saya…something I either copied from somewhere, or remembered hearing from someone:

“Setiap kali kita berjalan ke arah Tuhan,
Tuhan sebenarnya berlari ke arah kita.”

I stopped doing what I was doing when I saw this note. For about half an hour…I just looked at nothing and nobody but myself.

I need that walk.