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Getaran Jiwang

November 10, 2012 by Enida

Kawan: Oittt! Pepagi lagi dah berFacebook?

Enida: Hehehe biasalah. Menghibur hati sendiri.

Kawan: Eh, beb… ngko ni tengah bercinta ke apa?

Enida: Aku memang sentiasa bercinta. Mana pernah tak bercinta.

Kawan: Ishhh, seriously! Ngko ada orang baru eh?

Enida: Hah? Orang baru? Pehhh! Dasyatnya aku!

Kawan: Dah tu, asek letak status jiwang jer.

Enida: Status jiwang? Jiwang ke?

Kawan: Dengan pantun cintan-cintun lah, dengan lirik lagu jiwang lah. Mesti ada apa-apa ni.

Enida: Laaa aku kan bekas pemantun kebangsaan. La femme de jogette pulak tu. Biasa lah.

Kawan: Yang gambor telefon pagi tadi tu… telefon boyfriend duduk jauh ke?

Enida: Eh itu telefon kat katil aku lah.

Kawan: Ye lah, itu bukan ngko berkias nak bagitau boyfriend duduk jauh eh?

Enida: Ha’ah aku telefon boyfriend aku dari dalam selimut. Hangat siottt.

Kawan: Ngko ni! Kalau bercinta cakap je lah. Apasal nak sorok-sorok, berkias-kias?

Enida: Sebab aku lahir-lahir memang dah macam ni. Suka berkias. Cinta ke tak cinta ke, aku berkias jugak.

Kawan: So bila nak kahwin?

Enida: Weekend ni.

Kawan: Oiii! Biar betul ngko ni!

Enida: Kalau dia tak kerja… kalau aku free, nanti aku ajak dia kahwin. Ngko free tak nak tengok aku kawin? Aku tak buat nasik minyak okay. Aku beli karipap IKEA aja jamu orang datang. Minum 100Plus botol besar.

Kawan: Hahaha sudah lah ngko ni! Nyampah aku.

Enida: Hahaha beb. Dalam menyampah-nyampah, ngko sibuk gak nak tau skandal aku kan?

Kawan: Hahaha tu yang aku tak paham tu. Hahaha.

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Posted in Humor | Leave a Comment »

Pleboit

November 7, 2012 by Enida

Koi tok gheti nok maeng geing. Pandei lalu. Toksoh sughoh lah mende geing pon. Kecoli Tumblebug sebak keje diyer melutu ke mende bulat hok bebagheih masuk lubang kluwor lubang te haje. Lepeh lutu, lutu. Lepeh lutu, lutu.

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Keiknye biler becakak pasei lutu ni, koi tingek ke MokDe koi. Oghangnya paleh tinggi. Sudoh lah tinggi, besor pulok te. Sudoh lah besor, garang diyer… koooos semangek. Ibaratnya tuanku soltan te penyudohnye mintok ampun ke MokDe koi. “Ampun MokDe beghibu-ghibu ampun, semboh beta haghak diampun.” Kabor ke. Punye ke takot baginda ke kegarangei MokDe Semoh. Ah yer, doh namer nye cekgu besor, yak.

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Puloknye, gone ke tok chengei? Adik-beradik 15 oghang. Iyerrr limer beleh. Fifteen. Satu limer. 15. Diyer hok nomboi tiger. KokNgoh diyer lagi loh pulok chengei melampaa. Bukei tuanku soltan je mintok ampun penyudohnye. Yang dipertuei agong karang kot ngikut mintok ampun belaka. Sudoh la dah.

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Mok koi citer dulu, KokNgoh diyer te yang mele diyer maser mok ayoh diyer pegi aji. Mengkala adik-adik tok mboh dengor kater je, diyer cakor muker! Kuku panjang super antu. Sape babei, diyer tok meri nasik. Hah, belapor lah awok sampei mok awok balik aji, kabor ke.

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Oh cokoiiittt! Laaaaa… koi ni tadi benornye nok citer pasei maeng geing. Ilang keisoh yak! Haiiii tak mende lah pepagi ni melaghat meghaban. Lepeh te koi konoan nok citer pasei perkataei ‘lutu’ hok MokDe koi rajeing nyebut dulu te. Sebak diyer rajeing melutu keghebaa. Datang dekat sikek je, dilutu dengei puntung kayu api. Menciput laghi keghebaa te, sampei bertabur taik.

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Koi teghase lah pulok nok pegi nabur bende hok boleh tabur. Hishhh! Pantang nyebut yak. Pleboit sangek koi te.

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Posted in Humor, Language, Malaysiana | Leave a Comment »

Triple Treats

November 5, 2012 by Enida

It was a quick and early supper at the Secret Recipe Hartamas. Edrick was starving like usual, but Kitreena wasn’t hungry at all like usual. But they knew they would be busy going trick-or-treating that evening, they had to down their supper super quickly.

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And I…
I pretended not to see those expats and expat-looking people squirming all over the mall that late afternoon. Ah well, it was October 31st. And yes, the year is 2012. But the kids looked a little lost and they were staring at almost every tall-hazel-eyed-hairless Caucasian man that walked by.

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And I…
I could tell what they were looking for. A glimpse of someone who might look like Daddy, perhaps.

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So when I caught Kitreena staring at a Caucasian man with his son hopping into a cab, she gave me a guilty look and quickly looked away — not wanting me to see the longing in her eyes. The second she looked up and was brave enough to look at me, I smiled at her, touched her face from across the table and pulled her gently into my arms.

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It was then, again, that she let it go… crying in my arms like a little Daddy’s girl that she was. She stayed in my embrace, face on my chest, and my face in her hair hiding my own tears. Edrick hugged us from the side, and I finally let it all go and said, “Ohhh well! I’ll be the most wicked witch or even a hantu if I have to, but I ain’t goin’ nowhere!” I could feel Monchies’ hug tightening.

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It rained all evening, but Monchies came home with a big bucket of treats.
Life is sweet when we know which candies we can’t live without.

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Halloween 2011: The King and The Skeleton

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Halloween 2012: Tom Cruise and Keira Knightley

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | 2 Comments »

Tersepit

November 5, 2012 by Enida

Hello…

Hello… hi sayang. Sayang buat apa?

Punggah laci.

Punggah laci? Laci mana ni?

Laci gobok.

Gobok baju?

Tak. Gobok kasut.

Cari apa?

Cari sepit.

Hah? Cari sepit?

Yerrr.

Sepit rambut?

Tak.

Sepit baju?

Tak. Sepit bulu.

Hah? Sepit bulu? Sepit bulu apa ni?

Sepit bulu kening lah.

Ohhh sepit kening Ziana Zain sayang tu eh? Hehehe.

Tweezers lah.

Ehhh? Tapi kenapa cari tweezers dalam laci gobok kasut pulak?

Sebab Ida letak kat situ.

Kenapa letak kat situ?

Sebab dekat dengan cermin nak keluar pintu.

Oh ha’ah kan. Sayang punya touch-up check-point.

Yerrr.

Jumpa?

Tak.

Sayang sure ke letak kat situ?

Sure sangat.

Tak ada yang lain ke?

Tak.

Manicure set bawah sinki bilik air tak ada tweezers?

Ada.

Dah tu?

Yang tu tak sedap.

Tak sedap?

Tak mencengkam.

Tak mencengkam?

Yerrr.

Bukan tak mengancam? Hehehe.

Bukan.

Beli lah yang baru.

Malas.

Sayang…

Mmm…

Sayang malas cakap dengan Abang eh?

Yerrr.

Kenapa sayang malas cakap dengan Abang?

Sebab Ida rasa Abang yang ambik tweezers Ida.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Abaaaaaannnggg!

Sorry sangat, sayang! Nanti balik Abang pulangkan.

*nangis*

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Posted in Abang, Humor | Leave a Comment »

Akhir Disember Ini…

November 5, 2012 by Enida

Seven years was not short. But when he called the wedding off just a week before the big date – and it was supposed to be the biggest present ever on Christmas… she died. Convinced that she was destined to the seventh hell, her soul, her heart, and her core died with her will, almost taking her being with her.

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Two years later she was still dead.

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Until…
Her Daddy finally said, “It was God who put the love in your heart. And it was Him who took it away. But He can put a new one. It’s just that… you have to be alive to receive it. Just as alive as you were nine years ago.”

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She’s getting married at the end of December this year on her very first birthday of her second life.

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Congratulations, luv!

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Posted in Hope | Leave a Comment »

Siri Bercakap Dengan Edrick XXXVII

October 24, 2012 by Enida

Edrick’s field trip today is to the National Zoo. Two weeks ago when he got the consent letter for me to sign, he was a bit skeptical about going.

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Edrick: Mom, why did they capture the animals and put them in the cage?

Mommy: So that you don’t have to go to their habitat to see them. Some live deep in the forest, ya know.

Edrick: I know. But I think the animals should be in the jungle. They don’t belong in the city. *that’s my Madagascan son speaking*

Mommy: So, does that mean you are not going for the field trip?

Edrick: Ohhh I’ll go, I suppose. I just wanna see if the animals are okay.

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There goes my fifty ringgit. And my WWF Boy.

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | Leave a Comment »

Satu Lagi Machiam

October 18, 2012 by Enida

Ini machiam la haa, aitelyu… sula abis cheliter lamer. Memang sula abis. Tutup puku, tutup pintu, tutup hati. Lagi sula manyiak olang ganti wa munyia tempat lulok sana Mosko. Lua pulan wa tinggai Mosko bawa choodren malik kampong ha, sula ala ganti woh. Sana amoi Lusia sula lulok wa munyia lumah Puket Poklofski. Okei loh, tamat kontlek, mao panggei rawyer kasi sain sulat chiyerai. Hati sula talak sayang. Haiiiyaaa ini olang!

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Over choo years now ha, sula bawa lagi satu olang balu kasi chiumper amak Kanada sana pigi. Etfes sini latang tengok choodren bulan Mei. Balik Lusia sana sula luper choodren oleady. Dali Mei sampai sikalang talak kontek choodren, yu no! Tao-tao haa, itu wa munyia anak tili sana Kanada lulok kasitao aa, lia munyia apak ala balik Kanada bawa amoi Lusia palu munyia. Lagi palu, mukan las yer munyia amoi Lusia. Sula tukaa wor sikalang. Hati sula sayang, sumua pun sayang. Haiiiyyyaaa ini olang!

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Ini chiam aaa, palu ingat choodren bikos sula mao bili tikek Klismes. Sula chianchi mao chiumper choodren. Tapi lia latang mao bawa amoi Lusia kasi tengok Meleisyier oso. Aitelyu, lia cakap sama wa haa, “Enitaa… lu misti mao kenai ini amoi Lusia. Misti mao flenly-flenly sama wa munyia bakai mini palu okei.” Manyiak chiantek lia munyia muker. Lagi mao suloh wa pigi chiuti-chiuti Meleisyier tinggai choodren sama lia bikos lia mao lulok wa munyia lumah. Hai loh, wif lia munyia amoi palu wohh! Olang kila oso tao malu woh ini machiam! Lia bolei mao stay wa munyia lumah sama amoi Lusia pulum chiadi mini. Haiiiyyyaaa ini olang!

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Posted in Humor | 5 Comments »

Time Waits For No Mom

October 11, 2012 by Enida

Second week of Bibiklessness.

Monchies and I are still struggling to manage our time, especially in the morning getting ready for school. I was being hard on myself, Kitreena and Edrick last week trying to keep our daily schedule as normal as possible. Kitreena’s Asastari training in the evening at Pak Ngah Production throws both hers and Edrick’s sleeping schedule off. And as much as I let them sleep an hour extra in the morning, I wish they could cut down on some shower time. (But I should throw away all the bathroom toys! Really really should.)

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And for the last two mornings, Monchies have been having breakfast in the car. Still the usual toast and eggs and sausage and what not. But eaten in the car.

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Now, I can kick myself all I want. Or whip Monchies’ bums if I like – to make them move faster at 6am getting ready for school. But listening to them talking about the sausage sandwich that I made this morning and how much they were enjoying the breakfast on-board and the in-flight service Boeing CRaVy Flight MT-031… I realized that I had been forgetting to remind myself: Life is short.

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The worst that can happen in the morning is Monchies being just a little late for school. But the best thing is… they are in my car, and just an arm’s reach away from my hugs and kisses.

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Life is short… but good.

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | 1 Comment »

Be Back Bibik

October 1, 2012 by Enida

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Bibik home-going to Indramayu on Friday made me and me Monchies feel very lost. So lost that we didn’t want to go home. We put up a night at Monchies’ yee mou’s place where I got to sleep all night and sleep all day the next day. And Saturday night, we made our way home after taking the longest route possible.

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Monchies were doing their bathroom routine before bedtime later that night when suddenly I heard both of them crying like anak ayam kehilangan ibu. I ran to their bathroom and discovered me Monchies in tears.

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What’s the matter babies?

Bibik left her toothbrushhhh! Booohoooo!

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I knew Bibik purposely left her toothbrush and toothpaste. She has another set waiting at her Indramayu home. But I decided to join me Monchies crying anyway. 😦

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Posted in Bibik, Monchies | 2 Comments »

Siri Bercakap Dengan Edrick XXXVI

September 11, 2012 by Enida

Bedtime. Seven thirty. Tuesday night.

Edrick was hiding under the cover like usual, to scare me with his scariest peek-a-boo that was supposed to make me jump. I just waited for him to uncover himself, and that would ‘spoil’ his scaring attempt. Like usual. But he went too quiet, for far too long. So I played along, poked him on the tummy and said good night. He came out and…

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Edrick: Hi Mommm… *looks at Mommy with tears in his eyes*

Mommy: Heyyy sweetheaaart… what’s the maaatter?

Edrick: I know now what Daddy did to you Mommmm…

Mommy: Oh goodness baby, what did Daddy do to me?

Edrick: He xxxxx xxx xxxx xxxxx xxxxxx, but not with you.

Mommy: Ohhh sayang, bless your innocent soul! But it’s okay. I’m okay.

Edrick: So is Daddy done thinking yet?

Mommy: About what, Edrick?

Edrick: About what he needs most in his life?

Mommy: *sighs* I don’t know, sweetheart.

Edrick: Daddy definitely doesn’t need YOU!

Mommy: Ohhhh sayaaang. And that’s okay, you know.

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Edrick was saying the obvious, but it was sure a good reminder. He went to bed tonight with a blocked nose from crying so hard. And I am going to bed with a book and a clear mind. Who says I need to read between the lines?

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Posted in Hurt, Monchies | Tagged | 4 Comments »

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