Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Over Here

Before life is over, it will always have something for us to get over with. That much I can be sure of today, coming to think of it this morning.

.

I got over with being a child, chubby and all whether I liked it or not, with no big damage. I’m still chubby and still working on getting a little less chubby, but my face is longer.

.

Getting over with being a misunderstood girl all my teenage years and a decade or two later was a huge task, but I came out with no major injuries. Thanks to having a good mom, I did pretty good.

.

Then before I knew it, I got over a bad relationship, hitting the rock bottom, staying there on my rock bottom for two years for all the wrong reasons. But for all the good lessons that came with it, I did come out a little wiser, I must say. I survived the pain, though they say much of it was self-chosen.

.

The last ten years, however, were the years I never thought I had to get ‘over’ with. As the way it was in the beginning, there was no time limit set to it. But like I said so myself, life… before it’s over, will always have something for us to get over with.

.

I will get over this and will get over there from over here.

.

Soon.

.

.

..

Read Full Post »

Here I Come

.

.

“If I can’t come to happiness, I’ll come up with it.”

.

~Enida
June 25, 2010
Pokrovsky Hills Boulevard
Doma Nomer Divyet

.

Read Full Post »

Menerima Kasih

Thank you for listening to all the stories I was not telling you. Thank you for knowing that there were just too many stories I was not able to tell. You have been there. You have made time, for me and my stories. Your love was those warm embraces you pulled me into, those silent moments holding my hands wanting me to stay. And yet letting me go.

.

Thank you for letting me write a whole new story. Thank you for reading me.

.

.

Until Then

Until then
until the sky loses its blue
and the ocean loses its hue
until there is no more poetry
between just you and me…
will I be done with regret
for not loving you like that.

.

Enida
June 16, 2010
Mesra Home Jalan Duta

(adapted from Sampai Nanti)

.

.

.

.

Kasih yang tak terhingga untuk:

  • Cik Nan
  • Emila Yusof
  • Sham Saimon
  • Tuan Nor Kaseh
  • Peah Ahmad
  • Ridwan Robin Solahudin
  • Chin Neoh Dove
  • Russol Hussein
  • Suhad Ali
  • Engku Ili Hanisah
  • Farah Nadiah
  • Nurenah
  • Encik Bret
  • Julia Romeli
  • Ida Bakar
  • Razilah Othman
  • Rozie Anis
  • Fazilah Husin
  • Kencha Dewok
  • Hafizah Sanusi
  • Jordan Ling
  • Atikah Ahmad
  • Amir Dunia
  • Afdeza Monir
  • Khalid Nasser
  • Fatimah Mohd Diah
  • Lisa Lish Joehari
  • Intan Azreena M Hafiz
  • Noraini Rajudin
  • Aniza Yaakub
  • Shidah Abd Rashid
  • Dr. Boden
  • Dr. Zanjebil
  • Dr. Ravi
  • Dr. Ananda
  • Dr. Cinta
  • Nik Shamsi
  • Raizil Emeli
  • Halim Jusoh
  • Karen Cheong
  • Tanty Sharum
  • Zahidi Ishak
  • Nazib at Hawk
  • Those who spent precious time with me on a daily basis
  • Those who read me and added me on Facebook
  • Those who thought of me, reached for the phone and did not call

.

Read Full Post »

Bersih

.

Terasa seperti ingin membasuh jiwa.
Bersih dari cinta yang tak perlu.

.

.

.

Read Full Post »

Readability

Over the years I thought it was just a thought. And I thought it was just my little wishful thinking wishing for some special talent I wished I had. But over the years I realized that I have not been wrong about pictures I have consciously read.

.

I am no fortune teller. Heavens no! I cannot tell who’s going to hell and who’s not going to heaven. But I can kinda tell who is in limbo.

.

.

I have not been doing as much reading as I would like to lately. And yet I read too much.  I think it’s time to start writing again.

.

Read Full Post »

Silver Bullet Bitten

This picture. There was a story that came with it. In fact, there was a story that came with everything I saw, everything I captured with my out-of-date little camera. And I was going to tell you the story right away.

.

But then I changed my mind. The way I change my mind everytime a not-so-good thought comes knocking. I don’t open my door to bad thoughts. Not usually. I don’t even ask ‘Who’s there?’

.

The truth is, a year ago, if I had let the clouds of pain take me over… there was going to be no such thing as silver lining. Or silver anything. There wasn’t even going to be the silver-like ring on any of my fingers. Forget silver bells.

.

I came a long way, as the story did not unfold just a year ago. It had started long before that. And the other truth is, I have been rethinking about it all lately. About how we choose from choices, opportunities and second chances granted to us. About how our choices lead us to where we are today.

.

And for me to have been in Calgary in April 2010 despite what happened in April 2009 and August 2008… I have had my silver storms. I had seen months of rain with no sign of rainbows. I had seen clouds with the chance of armageddon. I had lost hope, found it, lost it again and faked one or two (or three).

.

The only un-artificial thing left on me is probably my teeth. Even they have been filled with silver and mercury. And even they have not been able to turn me into a silver-tongued Enida. Well, such is life. And questa… è Enida. ¡Ya basta!

Read Full Post »

.

.

.

.

Read Full Post »

Remembering Mom at Mom’s

Port of Call.

Her battle was lost during the last year of her beautiful life. She lost it. Her memory. She used to collect everything she could collect. She used to keep everything she could keep. Just so she could hang on to everything she could hang on to. So she wouldn’t forget. So she would remember it all.

.

And then she forgot it all. She lost it all. She even forgot where she was. All she could hang on to was her name and where she met the love of her life. All she remembered was where she was when she was young and when she was in love.

.

She was in the Port of Dickson’s. She was in love.

.

And that was the last beach I took her to, on which she walked as though she knew it was her last walk on the beach. I think she knew it. What she didn’t know was where the love of her life had been. It was all gone before she could let it go. And then she let go.

.

She left.

.

.

.

.

Read Full Post »

Jolok

Buah cempedak di luar pagar,
ambil galah tolong jolokkan;
Sayalah budak baru belajar,
kalau salah tolong tunjukkan.

.

Leng Chai’s pantun on his Facebook status yesterday sure reminded me of a girl in my class when I was in Grade 5 at the All Saints’ School in Taiping. I can’t recall her name, but I remember her brother. Her kind-hearted brother whom I never met.

.

.

Our class teacher, Miss Khoo Sin Nya, in the first few days of class that year was asking the whole class one by one of our father’s occupation. For her record, of course. And this girl, a painfully quiet girl, was almost in tears when it was her turn. Miss Khoo, not known for her sweet temper, lost her not so sweet temper when this girl (let’s just name her Bibah, okay), when Bibah would not say a word.

.

We, the rest of the class, were waiting confusingly patiently that it was probably the quietest the class had ever been. The suspense was just too much to bear. I had to close my eyes for the fear that Miss Khoo would bang her table with the giant blackboard ruler (with a handle).  Though I knew I wouldn’t jump and start melatah like my Toksu… I was very very nervous on behalf of Bibah.

.

For thunder’s sake, just answer the teacher lah Bibah, begged I, in the deafening silence. The question was, ‘What does your father do?’ What was so hard about it? I dared to bet that everyone was dying to know what Bibah’s father’s occupation was. And what was so secret about it. Bibah’s old man could not have been a spy, could he? After all, this was Taiping in the early 80’s. Or was he a… errrr, hmmmm. Eeeeshhhhh! Enida! Don’t! I slapped myself on one cheek.

.

Silence.

.

Suspense.

.

And then…

.

Jolok buah.

.

More silence.

.

I remember the faces looking at Miss Khoo, to find Miss Khoo looking back at Bibah. And she was looking at us all in one swipe.

.

Jolok buah? Apa buah? Buah klapa ka, buah nangkak ka, buah dooriyen ka?

.

Buah kelapa sawit, teacher,” Bibah was trembling in what sounded like a relief that she was understood. And she wasn’t laughed at.

.

Cakap laaa baba you Peladaaaanggg! Aiiiyohhh! Itu pun tatau ka?

.

For the first time I saw Bibah’s sweet smile. I think the whole class smiled with her.

.

Tapi…

.

Bibah’s tapi sent the whole class into another swing of nerve-wrecking silence. Miss Khoo looked up from her record book and looked at Bibah with the biggest eyes possible probably was ready to attack Bibah for not telling the whole truth.

.

Tapi saya duduk dengan abang saya, baba saya sudah tua. Abang saya askar, teacher. Dia tolong jaga saya dengan adik-adik saya. Mak saya dah meninggal.

.

Bibah didn’t cry.

.

But I know someone who did.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Glossary for Neil and Jimmy:

jolok = poke

buah = fruit

apa = what

klapa/kelapa = coconut

nangka = jackfruit

dooriyen = durian

kelapa sawit = palm

cakap = say/tell

peladang = farmer

tapi = but

Tapi saya duduk dengan abang saya, baba saya sudah tua. Abang saya askar, teacher. Dia tolong jaga saya dengan adik-adik saya. Mak saya dah meninggal.” =

“But I live with my elder brother, my father is old. My brother serves in the army, teacher. He (brother) helps taking care of me and my younger siblings. My mother has passed away.”

.

.

Read Full Post »

Madame de Maintenon

It has been a maintenance month, this February.

..

The relationship maintenance job was done on the 14th with a 24-hour getaway at the Radisson Slavyanskaya by the river. Nice! I finally could hear my voice coming out of my mouth in a quiet conversation with Rahul,  when he took his Anjali out for Valentine’s rrrrromantic dinner at Maharaja. Usually I just do lip sync for me Monchies. Well, we do do the monthly maintenance on every 19th. But nothing as maintaining as overnighting. Ehem!

.

The last 2 weeks have been a dental maintenance session as well.  Cleaning,  whitening, filling, filling-replacement, crowning, root-canal. No dentures yet, thanks to Sensodyne. Speaking of filling-replacement, I think it’s also time to update my will. I should leave a specific instructions to whomever survive me of what to do with my teeth. No matter how much surviving me bites.

.

By now I should have enough porcelain filled in my molars for my survivors to make a tea set with. And by the time I am 75, if long lives the queen, I shall have enough porcelain to make a dinnerware set for each child of mine. As it is, my dentist bill is already equivalent to a set of Silver Palace all inclusive for me Monchies and me Conchies (Monchies’ cousins).

.

In case you have no experience having cavities and having your teeth filled: dentists these days use porcelain (and many other aesthetic materials) instead of amalgam alloy (mercury or silver).

.

It has also been a month of maintaining my running activity which I had been running away real far and fast from. On good days (though not very many, due to February being the shortest month this year), I can run 10km in my 100m² bedroom in a breeze. On bad days I can run 100km non-stop in my size 9 Ushanka-capped head in 10 split seconds. And that 10 split seconds have to be split and spilled into 3m³ of diet juice called Axe-Cues Me.

.

Now that I have maintained blogging, posting at least 3 entries per week… I should go spank my maintained round behind, put on my 3-year-old runners that still maintain their brand-new look, and do some maintenance job on my weight. Hey, wait a minute… I have an article to edit, don’t I? Yeah, that Super Lynx article for Berita Harian from Mr. Maintain Delicious Heli Pilot old friend of mine.

.

I am gone running… away from running.

.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »