I am braving the pain.
I have cried, but it only hurt my eyes and my face. For my voice had fallen on deaf ears and my love had reached a dead heart.
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For everything that is no longer here…
He will lead me away from my fear.
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Posts Tagged ‘Life’
Take My Hand
Posted in Hurt, tagged Life on July 10, 2010| Leave a Comment »
All That
Posted in Sense, tagged Life on July 4, 2010| 1 Comment »
Do you know the feeling of wanting something so much for so long that when you finally get it, you realize that you don’t want it anymore? The wanting keeps you going, the going keeps you holding on. And it is the getting that ends it all. You let go. Because you know, getting does not always mean having. There are things you can want, you can get, but you can never have.
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All that I want, I have. And I am all right.
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Just stay away.
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Please.
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Over Here
Posted in Sense, tagged Life on July 3, 2010| 1 Comment »
Before life is over, it will always have something for us to get over with. That much I can be sure of today, coming to think of it this morning.
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I got over with being a child, chubby and all whether I liked it or not, with no big damage. I’m still chubby and still working on getting a little less chubby, but my face is longer.
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Getting over with being a misunderstood girl all my teenage years and a decade or two later was a huge task, but I came out with no major injuries. Thanks to having a good mom, I did pretty good.
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Then before I knew it, I got over a bad relationship, hitting the rock bottom, staying there on my rock bottom for two years for all the wrong reasons. But for all the good lessons that came with it, I did come out a little wiser, I must say. I survived the pain, though they say much of it was self-chosen.
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The last ten years, however, were the years I never thought I had to get ‘over’ with. As the way it was in the beginning, there was no time limit set to it. But like I said so myself, life… before it’s over, will always have something for us to get over with.
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I will get over this and will get over there from over here.
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Soon.
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Here I Come
Posted in Sense, tagged Life on June 25, 2010| 1 Comment »
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“If I can’t come to happiness, I’ll come up with it.”
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~Enida
June 25, 2010
Pokrovsky Hills Boulevard
Doma Nomer Divyet
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Menerima Kasih
Posted in Sense, tagged Life on June 16, 2010| 3 Comments »
Thank you for listening to all the stories I was not telling you. Thank you for knowing that there were just too many stories I was not able to tell. You have been there. You have made time, for me and my stories. Your love was those warm embraces you pulled me into, those silent moments holding my hands wanting me to stay. And yet letting me go.
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Thank you for letting me write a whole new story. Thank you for reading me.
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Until Then
Until then
until the sky loses its blue
and the ocean loses its hue
until there is no more poetry
between just you and me…
will I be done with regret
for not loving you like that.
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Enida
June 16, 2010
Mesra Home Jalan Duta
(adapted from Sampai Nanti)
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Kasih yang tak terhingga untuk:
- Cik Nan
- Emila Yusof
- Sham Saimon
- Tuan Nor Kaseh
- Peah Ahmad
- Ridwan Robin Solahudin
- Chin Neoh Dove
- Russol Hussein
- Suhad Ali
- Engku Ili Hanisah
- Farah Nadiah
- Nurenah
- Encik Bret
- Julia Romeli
- Ida Bakar
- Razilah Othman
- Rozie Anis
- Fazilah Husin
- Kencha Dewok
- Hafizah Sanusi
- Jordan Ling
- Atikah Ahmad
- Amir Dunia
- Afdeza Monir
- Khalid Nasser
- Fatimah Mohd Diah
- Lisa Lish Joehari
- Intan Azreena M Hafiz
- Noraini Rajudin
- Aniza Yaakub
- Shidah Abd Rashid
- Dr. Boden
- Dr. Zanjebil
- Dr. Ravi
- Dr. Ananda
- Dr. Cinta
- Nik Shamsi
- Raizil Emeli
- Halim Jusoh
- Karen Cheong
- Tanty Sharum
- Zahidi Ishak
- Nazib at Hawk
- Those who spent precious time with me on a daily basis
- Those who read me and added me on Facebook
- Those who thought of me, reached for the phone and did not call
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Bersih
Posted in Hurt, tagged Life on June 3, 2010| 2 Comments »
Readability
Posted in Write On, tagged Life on April 29, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Over the years I thought it was just a thought. And I thought it was just my little wishful thinking wishing for some special talent I wished I had. But over the years I realized that I have not been wrong about pictures I have consciously read.
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I am no fortune teller. Heavens no! I cannot tell who’s going to hell and who’s not going to heaven. But I can kinda tell who is in limbo.
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I have not been doing as much reading as I would like to lately. And yet I read too much. I think it’s time to start writing again.
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Silver Bullet Bitten
Posted in Write On, tagged Life on April 27, 2010| Leave a Comment »
This picture. There was a story that came with it. In fact, there was a story that came with everything I saw, everything I captured with my out-of-date little camera. And I was going to tell you the story right away.
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But then I changed my mind. The way I change my mind everytime a not-so-good thought comes knocking. I don’t open my door to bad thoughts. Not usually. I don’t even ask ‘Who’s there?’
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The truth is, a year ago, if I had let the clouds of pain take me over… there was going to be no such thing as silver lining. Or silver anything. There wasn’t even going to be the silver-like ring on any of my fingers. Forget silver bells.
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I came a long way, as the story did not unfold just a year ago. It had started long before that. And the other truth is, I have been rethinking about it all lately. About how we choose from choices, opportunities and second chances granted to us. About how our choices lead us to where we are today.
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And for me to have been in Calgary in April 2010 despite what happened in April 2009 and August 2008… I have had my silver storms. I had seen months of rain with no sign of rainbows. I had seen clouds with the chance of armageddon. I had lost hope, found it, lost it again and faked one or two (or three).
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The only un-artificial thing left on me is probably my teeth. Even they have been filled with silver and mercury. And even they have not been able to turn me into a silver-tongued Enida. Well, such is life. And questa… è Enida. ¡Ya basta!
Cloudy With A Chance of Me Having A Ball
Posted in Travel, tagged Life, Mom on April 27, 2010| 2 Comments »
Remembering Mom at Mom’s
Posted in Mom, tagged Life on April 14, 2010| 2 Comments »
Port of Call.
Her battle was lost during the last year of her beautiful life. She lost it. Her memory. She used to collect everything she could collect. She used to keep everything she could keep. Just so she could hang on to everything she could hang on to. So she wouldn’t forget. So she would remember it all.
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And then she forgot it all. She lost it all. She even forgot where she was. All she could hang on to was her name and where she met the love of her life. All she remembered was where she was when she was young and when she was in love.
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She was in the Port of Dickson’s. She was in love.
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And that was the last beach I took her to, on which she walked as though she knew it was her last walk on the beach. I think she knew it. What she didn’t know was where the love of her life had been. It was all gone before she could let it go. And then she let go.
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She left.
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Questa è Enida 
