Questa è Enida

Within the next few paragraphs, I am going to sound annoyed. And I am going to be very blunt. If you feel poked, great! Maybe the paragraphs are for you. If you feel that you are wrongly accused, go ahead and sulk. See if I entertain moronity.

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Number one, I like questions but I don’t like them being asked because the questioner is too lazy to look up the answers before asking. I may not have quarter of all the answers laying around in the world. But I, Questa è Enida, at the very least, know where to find them. And most of all, I want to find them first!

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I don’t speak or write Chinese. That’s a fact. So when I get curious of Jonah Ong’s Facebook status in Mandarin, I copy, paste and translate using Yahoo! Babel text translator. One example.

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And then if I am not sure if Dubrovnik is the capital of Croatia or Lithuania, I can always Google it with a Giggle. Another example.  So now you see why it is very challenging for me to comprehend why you have to ask me where Cha’ah is!

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Number two, I appreciate friendship as it is, at any levels. You can be my best friend, my close friend, my teman-tapi-mesra friend, my kawan-biasa-biasa-sahaja friend, or remain my Facebook friend. If we were back in the 70’s or early 80’s, our closeness might have upgraded you to be my Abang Angkat, Kakak Angkat, Adik Angkat, Pak Menakan Angkat or Maktok Angkat.

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But let’s face it. I don’t have time to go through the adoption process to angkat you anywhere okay. The year now is 2010 in case you haven’t noticed and in case you have missed your make-believe shinkansen. I either keep you on my Friends List, or I remove you. Simply.

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I do understand closeness, intimacy, comfort or whatever you name it between two people in friendship. But you really don’t need to be afraid of my judgement. I don’t give it a dime. You might be the best of friends, holding hands, pecking each other on the neck when you think nobody is looking. But honestly, you don’t need a certificate to prove that you’re not screwing each other.

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So the term Adik Angkat, Abang Angkat, and Girlfriend Angkat are really not necessary in this new millenium. Not that I want to know what is going on between friends behind closed doors either. I am a big girl (trying to look small). I am not that naive lah, por favor.

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Number three, I am very comfortable being Enida under my proverbial Moscavado Sugar skin. At times I may come across as that hot beechy girl from the hottest hell rambling endlessly about grammar, spelling, hurt and pain of parenting children and men. But for all you know I have my own bills to pay too. Who says it is easy being brown on a blonde’s land?

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Just like you, I have stories to tell. Just like you, I hope my books will sell. Now if you could just quit asking me why I deleted you from my Facebook Friends List, I might be able to finish packing. And that is if I could remember what else to pack on my back other than me two Monchies.

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Uh, excuse me. Where am I going again?

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