Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Monchies’ Category

Quiet Mom

I posted my last entry while watching my little duckling somersaulting in the pool late yesterday afternoon. Yes, somersaulting in the pool. Not into. But here’s another post about her. With this little duckling of mine, the updates of what comes from her mouth would be every ten minutes – beats the BBC ‘Breaking News’. And this one, I really have to blog blab about or it would break my heart.

We were walking hand in hand from the pool to our Mumberrr Firrtee-One home, Kitreena and I. And Kitreena was really pleased with how she has now mastered this one tough act in the pool she had been trying to do since Thistle (next post). As we entered the house I nicely commented how she talks a bit too much sometimes.

She just smiled and said, “That’s how I use my voice Mom. You sing. I talk.”

I went quiet. And my mind went quieter.

Read Full Post »

Quiet Mind

I almost had it enough with my daughter today! Boy did I ever! If Elizabeth Gilbert’s words about quiet mind had not come in time to save me, I would have turned blue from holding my breath. I mean, really! There I go again with my ‘I mean really’. Is there something about this tropical wonderland that is extremely corrosive to my patience?

Thing is… I see Elizabeth Gilbert in Kitreena the more I read that woman and the more I read my girl. And they both belong to the other end of the spectrum from yours truly… they both do not have a quiet mind. Kitreena has to be doing something every hour down to the very minute in her waking hours. And when she is not doing something, she has to be saying something. She has an excessive need to uncage her thoughts in words. She has to talk.

Now, I am not saying a ‘noisy’ mind is no good. Especially for a person Kitreena’s age, it is almost perfectly normal. Perfectly called for. It is a sign of an active mind in a child. But for a mother with a quiet mind like mine, words uttered can be a clutter. I am not saying that my mind is always quiet either. I can have thoughts of different thoughts spinning like a Blue Ray disc. But the only noise you hear is the words I write. And you – mind you – have a choice to read or not to read!

But when Kitreena speaks, she turns into a little Pharaoh! I am only thankful I am a little Pharaoh’s mother! She can speak all she wants, I just have to say, “Silent! Pharaoh’s mom speaks now!” She says everything that crosses her mind. I mean EVERYTHING! Here’s an example of her response to my “Kitreena, if you want to go swimming, please go get changed.”

“Okay Mom. Uh… but where did you put my swimming gear? Oh I know, it must be in the bag we took to the beach the other day. But maybe Dad has taken the bag downstairs. Dad, did you take my swimming suit out of the bag that we took the beach the other day? Oh yeah! I found it Dad. But Mom, I think I don’t need my goggles here. The chlorine is not so bad in our swimming pool compared to the hotel one. But I’m still going to take the goggles and everything in the bag to the pool just in case I need them. And even if I don’t need them, they just stay in the bag because that’s where they belong. So if I don’t put them on this time, I know where to find them when I go swimming next time. Okay Mom? Mom? Mom? Are you listening to me Mom?”

To which I answered… “I wish I didn’t have to.”

So, you see what I mean by noisy mind now? That paragraph above was exactly what was said by Kitreena without ANY interruption from me or her Dad. And that paragraph above is a true example of what she said within the ten-minute commotion of her wanting to go swimming because she was bored and could not stand doing nothing at home after an early supper! She had to go swimming, she had to be doing something on a rainy afternoon. And she had to make commentary of every movement she made, as though she had a visually-impaired audience watching!

But then again, I am making my noise now, am I not?  These words I write.

Read Full Post »

Bananarama Momma

I am writing a looooong entry about what kind of Mom I am. But nothing deserves a publishing more than an entry about what kind of children I am Mommy-ing. So here…

For the past couple weeks now the Monchies and I have established a still-chaotic-work-in-progress bedtime routine. Before the l’ultimo bacio, we tell ourselves a bedtime story. Yes, we. The light will be dimmed, the Monchies tucked in the bunk bed – Kitreena on the top, and I will sit by Edrick in the bottom bed. I will start with the easiest part “Once upon a time, there was a… and the kids will fill in the blank – whoever is faster will get his choice of character’s story made up and told. And the story will go on from there. Ad-lib.

Surprisingly Edrick has been the faster one to come up with a noun for the blank. And Kitreena has been the more imaginative one, cooking up the storyline. And two nights ago Edrick filled in the blank with a banana. I put the banana into life by making him run really really fast for his life. Right away… Kitreena could see the monkeys chasing after him. It was such an intense phase in Mr. Banana’s life, I tell you, we could almost peel his pulse! I mean, feel his pulse.

It wasn’t long before Mr. Banana started panting, sweating and almost pee-ing in his peel. In his desperation to save his life from being eaten alive by the bananabaric monkeys, he was granted an idea by the Banana God watching him from up above the clouds over the banana republic. Mr. Banana thought of going bugil (naked) would save his life as he could run fasterer – so there! He peeled himself and kept on running!

The monkeys, running so fast so hungry, did not have time to see what had been thrown at them by Mr. Banana. And guess what? Predictably, the monkeys slipped on the peel and came tumbling down the hills, losing their special lunch that day. While Mr. Banana might not grow a new peel and would go bugil for the rest of his life, he was at least saved for another day by his quick (street-smart and strip-smart) thinking.

The End.

Last night it was Daddy’s turn to put Monchies to bed. I opted for the dishes! The kids came down to the kitchen to say goodnight to me and demanded the bedtime story. So after briefing Daddy with what it was all about, I initiated the story. Edrick got his way again by filling in the gap with an elephant who lost his trunk. I, trying to stay away from another action-packed-come-to-life stripping elephant, asked Edrick where he thought the elephant could get a new trunk.

“The trunk is on the tree, Mommy!”

I rolled right over on the kitchen floor laughing as I was imagining an elephant with a wooden trunk and a tree with an elephant trunk!

And for some reason another trunk came to mind. But that was for my bedtime story.

Read Full Post »

After six and a half years of wearing a curly hair, Kitreena had a blow of change. May 1st, 2009 – for the very first time in her life Kitreena wore a straight hair and was extremely gay about it. But of course the hair went all curled up the very next day. Good thing I had warned her about it. You know… the usual ‘be grateful for what God has given you’ line. “People spend a lot of money to get curly hair like what God gave you for free?” line.

“I know Mom, you don’t have to tell me again and again.”

Oh, I know that line by heart too by now.

Read Full Post »

Hair Curly Cheeks Chubby

It was ironic I was interviewed by Dzulfitri Yusop from Astro Awani today on the topic: Fat Kids – Obesity & Healthy Lifestyle Starts At Home. Ironic, because I actually was a fat kid. And that was some 30-40 years ago when fat kids were rare, unlike today. So you can imagine how lonely and fat I felt back then when other kids sang me the Pak Gemok Dang Dang song. Yes, the one that goes:

Pak gemok dang dang
pak gemok jual udang
tak laku sekupang

balik rumah kena tendang

I was hurt. Very very hurt.
So I promised myself in the later years – when I started to lose some kilos and started to have the itch about boys and marriage – that I shall never have fat kids. With all the information I now have on Food Pyramid, Healthy Diet, Different Blood Type and Different Diet…I have no excuse. I have to make sure my kids eat healthily, have the awareness of what junk food does to the different parts of their body and follow certain eating rules. I am not my parents who, in the 60’s and 70’s, had no information at their fingertips. I had to eat what they ate, and be thankful.

So now, with my own kids in the later and supposedly better millenium…other than making certain that the fridge is stuffed with more white meat than red, more wholemeal this-n-that than white, more vegies that are red, orange and green than in the tins, my rules now are simple.

I decide:

  1. what they eat
  2. when they eat

My kids decide:

  1. how much they eat

Plus some treats:
Friday is the POPCORN day.
Sunday is the ICE CREAM day.

My husband, however, has made some modification to it. Now Friday is also the MILK SHAKE day, alternately (with POPCORN).

No, Kitreena and Edrick are far from perfect or ideal kids. They still pout, frown, whine, complain, kick, scream and go on strike when they are made to down their vegetables. And yes, they can survive on popcorn and ice-cream alone seven days a week, three hundred sixty five days a year if I let them. But they are in MY house, so they can starve themselves if they don’t want to eat my spinach or kailan or pucuk labu (pumpkin/squash vine). Fine with me. See if I care.

Though not the ’roundest’ in their class, Kitreena and Edrick still get teased at school (Kitreena, for having curly hair, Edrick for his chubby cheeks). I can’t stop other kids from being kids. For all I know, my kids tease other kids too. Kitreena and Edrick were not born angels (nor geniuses). But at least I know what my kids are. They are what they eat.

The only trick to my rules is, I try to feed these kids healthy food only. And my definition of healthy is: as little deep-fried food as possible, no overcooked vegetables, as much milk as their bones and teeth desire, one glass of juice per day, water water water, no pops. And definitely, the ‘size-of-their-fist’ rule applies. I observe this as much as I can at home. I try not to eat out as much. Kitreena tapau lunch from home. I scared her with…”You never know where the canteen ladies’ index fingers have been.”

Footnote:

  • Yes. I did say this is my definition of healthy eating habits.
  • No. Water-it-down syrup or cordial is NOT juice.
  • Of course I don’t only eat spinach, kailan and pucuk labu. I eat pucuk paku oso.
  • The popcorn, milk shake and ice cream is only their afternoon snack once a week, so as not to deprive them of what other kids get. It’s not the whole-day-meal deal.
  • And ‘size-of-MY-fist’ is the portion you get on your face if you are reading this only to roll your eyes at my konon-bagus effort to feed my kids. Go feed your own ego.
  • If you were not a fat kid, you might not understand the fuss.

    Read Full Post »

    Of What A Fool Is Full Of

    I found myself in a difficult sitch yesterday. No, I am not going to use the word difficult. And I am not going to use the word sitch either, it’s so Kim Possible. So, here: I found myself in a challengingly awkward situation yesterday. If spending an afternoon with parents of Kitreena’s classmates was not awkward enough, try this…a mom made a statement that sent me speechless and almost thankful that my daughter is NOT the smartest kid in her class.

    .

    It got me thinking, nevertheless, of how brutally competitive parents can be when it comes to what they themselves have failed to achieve in school. It is not about letting children develop at their own pace anymore, is it? And if your kid happens to be one who can read at the speed of light, oi! God forbids if you don’t make it known.

    .

    But really, how do you respond to statements like:

    • “Oh, my son is the best reader in the class! I send him to Kumon. Why don’t you send yours to Kumon or Smart Reader, etc. to improve her reading ability?”

      (You believe in ‘Ain’t no matter where they begin, matters where they end’ kinda philosophy. And no, you don’t mind if your kid ends up reading price barcodes with an infra-red reader at Wal-Mart either…as long as she knows how to earn a living.)

     

    • “My son has the most “Spot-On’s” in the class now! 12 altogether.”

     

    (Your daughter just got her 15th Spot-On. Yes, you are proud of your daughter, and would love to smirk off the other mom’s crowing. But you know those Spot-On’s are not a ticket to Harvard. Puhleeeassse!)

    .

    If school and life have taught me anything at all, the very least I know is that the highest valued achievements are immeasureable. One can be the richest man standing, measured by hundreds of billion dollars in his pocket. But if he is full of nothing but himself, he is full of nothing.

    .

    .

    Read Full Post »

    Truest Colors

    I am supposed to pretend that what is fun for my kids would be fun for me too. Or am I? Since pretending is what I do worst, I made my decision long ago to just quit it. So, when my daughter bugged me to take her to the Family Fun Day at school, I told her the truth. That I would rather take her to the beach or to Kizsports, Kidz Zone, Jungle Gym or whatever substitute for playing masak-masak dalam pondok using the lid of a Milo can as a griddle over the pelita ayam flame like what Mommy and her KaCher used to play with other kids on the block (Kampung Jana Baru mana ada block daaa?)

    Logic is: the daughter is six and has only lost three baby teeth. The mom is not telling her age on her blog and has all her permanent teeth in tact. Conclusion is: mom bites rules! So I took her and her biggest-fan brother to Kidz Zone. Letting them loose from 1100 to 1500hrs was not such a bad idea after all. I got the chance to let Enida loose in time and in Times Bookstore for at least an hour and a half myself. Boy, did I ever lose it! For the sheer love of books, I almost sold my teeth and bought over the whole franchise, not just the Hartamas branch!

    It was a win-win windy day and we came home smiling. The daughter’s biggest-fan brother came home snoring…as pretty much expected.

    The day didn’t end with a smile, though.

    After supper, as we were sitting at the kitchen island, scribbling and sketching some nothings, my daughter attacked me with a request. “Could you please draw something Mom?” And you guessed it right, we were under art attack for the next artful hour and a half drawing a PIZZA! The last four pictures below are of Kitreena’s artwork. I was not just impressed with the resemblance, I was attacked with the realization that I have been putting my focus on her right wrong side of the brain. Kitreena might not have much resemblance of her mom, thank God! But judging from her true colors, she is her mom’s daughter. Thank God!

    The day did not end with a smile, it ended with me counting my blessings…though I am never good with numbers. Enam, tujuh, lapan. Lapan lagi! And for Kitreena, the day ended of course with her counting sheep.

    Goodnight my rainbow.

    Read Full Post »

    Forever Whatever

    We are home now after four nights of sleeping in a strange bed threesome-ly; Mommy and Monchies. I didn’t sleep much those four nights. That’s just the way I am when I have training courses to conduct. No matter how prepared I am, I still find it ‘exciting’. And I will be just too excited to even close my eyes. I guess, this is MY kind of adrenaline rush.

    .

    Sleepless and all, I got to forget about my Mom for a little bit. Or at least to pretend forgetting about Mom. Until Friday when Ka Cher updated me on Mom’s one-week break from the hospital. In between my presentation slides, I looked up for information on Velcade – the chemo regime Mom is going to be put on starting October 20.

    .

    Sleepless and all, I got to forget about my personal self and enjoy my professional one. Or at least to pretend forgetting that I am about to brave parenting all on my own, single-handedly. I have been doing it for almost a year anyway. Rotationally…just like Be has, with his job. I wasn’t thinking of mothering until Saturday evening when I came back to our hotel room to a teary-eyed daughter who could not sleep because she missed Daddy so much. So in between notes on Communication, Body Language and Effective Presentation…I could not help myself but to send a text message to Be, asking how he was doing.

    .

    Expectedly, when we got home yesterday, reality came rushing and gushing at us. We had no defenses. So we came home to our personal selves, my daughter and I. The rainy afternoon was easy, the sundown was uneventful. But bedtime, like it has always been, was the hardest. And last night, while humming the medley of Suriram and Greensleeves to Kitreena, I was asked yet another question:

    .

    “Mom, when Daddy has a new family with the other lady…what will I call him? Can I still call him Daddy? Or do I call him Uncle Karl?”

    .

    I was sure Kitreena was not trying to be funny. But I tried hard to contain from even chortling. I let out a sigh nonetheless and answered my daughter’s advance-level question.

    “Nothing can change the truth, monchy. He’s still your Daddy. So you will call him Daddy forever.”

    “But…”

    There is always a but with this gal!

    “But if he is my Daddy forever, how come he doesn’t want to come home even for just one day?”

    .

    That question, my suriram…can only be answered by your forever-Daddy.

    Suriram…Suriram
    Suriram, anak yang manis
    Anak manis janganlah dicium sayang
    Kalau dicium merah pipinya

    [Suriram…Suriram
    Suriram, the sweet little child
    Sweet little child you kiss her not
    For she blushes to your kiss]

    Read Full Post »

    We were just about home from Seoul Garden (formerly Seoul Bulgogi) when the car USB got to In My Daughter’s Eyes by Martina McBride again. Kitreena was just happy singing along through the first and second part. But towards half of the song, she went awkwardly quiet. I turned to look at her. She was covering her face with both hands, her body was shaking from trying so hard to contain herself from crying.

    .

    When I stretched my left arm to touch her right knee gently, she broke down. She was all in tears. I knew exactly what she was going to say. I just saw it three weeks ago. So I said exactly what I said three weeks ago. That it is okay to miss Daddy and that I am sure Daddy feels the same way. And that I would skip to the next song if the song upset her. And as exactly expected, she denied that it was the song that made her feel sad.

    .

    What’s not exactly like what happened three weeks ago was what she said tonight.

    .

    It’s not the song Mom! It’s Daddy!

    What do you mean?

    If Daddy doesn’t know when he’s coming back, I keep thinking he’s going to be there [in Russia] forever!

    No, sweetie. He is coming back in October for a few days. I told you that.

    But you don’t know when!

    True. But he is coming back.

    Does the airport know when Daddy’s airplane is landing here Mom?

    I don’t think so, monch.

    .

    A long silence.

    .

    Mommy, does Daddy want to come back?

    .

    A longer silence.

    .

    I was just holding my breath wishing for some numbness. We got to the gate, Kitreena sat up and said, “Mommy, I keep thinking Daddy is going to be there forever.” While waiting for the gate to open, I looked at her and smiled, “No monchy, Daddy has a home here. He can’t stay there forever, can he?” Kitreena looked at me and smiled – convinced.

    .

    But I lied.

    .

    Kitreena, held by Daddy, when she was just six days old.
    She’s turning six on November 10, this year.

    .

    Read Full Post »

    « Newer Posts