If I sound like I am trying to tell you something I can’t tell but you are supposed to know, I probably am. If I look like I am trying to show you something I am not supposed to show but you are supposed to see, I probably am. And if I act like I am trying to do whatever it takes to push you away, I probably am. I am not easy to come close to anymore. I am deaf. I am blind. And I am heartless.
.
I will hold your hands and touch your face. But do not want me.
.
Posted in Hurt | Leave a Comment »
Sometimes I can’t help thinking that the biggest fall I have had in my life is in love. So big, that I am only now getting up from the fall swearing all the way up and out that I will never, ever fall again.
.
.
No, I haven’t fallen again. I am just enjoying the view from the top.
.
Posted in Write On | Leave a Comment »
Guilt came all over me when I told a friend I am writing a book. Well… while I am, I am not! I haven’t been writing since November 13, and that is… for all-time’s sake, a very long time for a person who claims to be a writer. Maybe I should take a break from calling myself a writer. Or maybe I should just write again?
.
And before you stop reading, here’s something I have not written about…
.
.
Posted in Write On | Tagged Books | Leave a Comment »
La ni, kalau chek pi La Cucur la kan, muka chek takdak maneh dah la. Dulu, asai lalu saja beghasa nak singgah. Asai lalu saja beghasa nak singgah. Depa-depa hat kerja kat La Cucur tu memang bangsa gumbira, ria, tiada duka nestapa punya jeneih. Taim takmau-takmau makan pun buleh pi borong kue macam oghang nak kenughi punya lah chek suka dia punya khidmat pelanggan.
.
Depa memang rajin ucap selamat pagi, selamat petang, selamat datang, tegoq tanya apa habaq, sambil kelui mai mai mai beli kue, beli kue, mai mai minum ayaq te, mai mai mai ghamai-ghamai, mai mai.
.
Tapi la ni, toksah kan ucapan selamat pagi ka selamat datang ka… chek nak order ayaq Melo panaih pun kena jeghekah dulu baghu dapat. Kot ya pun depa nak confirm order, cakap la baik-baik. Toksah la naik sogha macam chek dengaq lagu Eminem kat konset punya hingaq. Sudah la muka takdak sapa muka ala-ala Mr. Os yang tak peghenah tak ghenyeh.
.
Tiba-tiba selepaih dah dekat duapuloh kali chek dok makan minum begebang dok bawah tangga kat La Cucur kat KLCC ni, teghasa cemuih dah la pulak. Aghi ni dua karipap, satu bengkang ubi kayu campoq satu te panaih saja dah lima ringgit dua kupang. Bukan la sedap tagha mana pun karipap depa.
.
Tapi yang buat chek tambah cemuih sebenaqnya yalah layanan depa. Chek ni dok mengajaq oghang lagumana nak layan pelanggan, lagumana nak berkomunikasi, berinteraksi dan bersaikoloji dengan pelanggan kunun terer. Tapi sebagai pelanggan, chek ghasa kechiwa sunggoh la.
.
Dalam hati dok berkata-kata, amboih hangpa no… mentang-mentang chek beli kue sekali makan lima ringgit dua kupang, layanan hangpa bagi takat dua kupang saja ka? Chek nak kena pi kedai Poh Kong ka, beli karipap emaih baru dapat layanan ala-ala solid gold?
.
Kalau depa ni senyum mesra, maneh mulut pagi-pagi tengok muka kita yang elok lagi berbedak takdak berminyak-minyak, ambik berkat juai makanan hat yang nak terjun masuk perut kita… alangkah baiknya. Pelanggan happy, jualan meningkat, depa senang hati, berkat pun berkat.
.
Susah sangat ka?
.
Tapi ni nak habaq pi kat hangpa, chek ni susah nak sebut La Cucur tu La Cucur. Peranchis sangat! Taim menulih lagu ni bulih la. Taim sebut misti nak gulung jadi La Cucoq jugak. Lidah mai daghi jauh ni memang lagu tu la.
.
Posted in Humor, Makan-Makan | Leave a Comment »
Tak kuat juga saya ini sudahnya. Tak kuat menahan marah pada yang memandang pengorbanan saya seperti memandang sampah. Bukan kecil luka di hati saya. Bukan mudah berdepan dengan kecurangan. Bukan sekali saya dikhianati. Bukan sekejap saya bertahan. Bukan senang memaafkan. Bukan sekelip mata mampu melupakan.
.
Saya buat semuanya. Melawan semua yang bukan-bukan. Tapi sudahnya tak kuat juga saya ini. Lalu saya bawa semuanya pergi. Biarlah saya jauh di mata dan tak tinggal di jiwa. Bukan dia tempat saya bersandar hati.
.
Bukan lagi.
.
Posted in Hurt | 11 Comments »
Doa seorang peladang kepada Tuhannya:
“Oh Tuhanku yang maha Kasih. Jikalau kau jadikan aku seorang yang bodoh, jadikanlah aku bodoh seperti kerbau. Supaya aku, dan segala kebodohonku itu masih boleh dibawa membajak sawah. Dan janganlah engkau jadikan aku bodoh seperti manusia. Kerana manusia dan segala kebodohan mereka tidak mendatangkan apa-apa pun kesenangan, walaupun untuk seekor kerbau.”
.
Kerbau pun menguak dengan penuh kesinisan.
.
.
Riwayat ini ditulis di Kampung Sri Kerdau di mana Enida berada pada 5 November 2010. Semoga menjadi iktibar kepada kerbau-kerbau sekalian. Opocot! Did I say kerbau-kerbau?
.
Posted in Humor | Leave a Comment »
There are no more words. Not even one. I am sent to nothing – to you – so I will be empty enough to be everything – to me. Tomorrow.
.
I am tired of listening.
.
Posted in Hurt | 2 Comments »
When I saw my Lil Sis get online, I jumped and made myself visible on Yahoo Messenger with a question mark tagged to my head. She doesn’t usually get online at this weeeeeeee hour.
.
There was power outage caused by fire somewhere half an hour away from her area. Aaaaahhh that explained! But anyway, my mind just went propelling like Super Lynx blades to the mention of power outage. I could not imagine sleeping in a vacuum!
.
And for some reason my eyes went scanning the whole kitchen for Monchies’ portable-battery-operated fans (courtesy of their Aunty Ida Bakar from Seri Cheeding Resort). If there is ever a power outage at Mesra, I might have to go to war with me Monchies – for the fans!
.
And that reminds me that I have a RM865.04 power bill to pay. Okay people, I am gone paying. All the more power for Enida!
.
Posted in Write On | Leave a Comment »
Have you ever drunk that perfect hot lemon tea when the heat is just perfect, and the tang is just perfect, and the life you’re drinking the lemon tea to is just perfectly painful you feel like drinking your whole life into nothingness as you empty that perfect teacup?
.
It would not have been a perfect tea without some water boiled, some lemons sliced, some tea leaves plucked, and some clay burned.
.
And for me to think all these when I was sipping on my perfect Hot Lemon Earl Grey Tea at Delicious @ Dua Residence on a beautiful sunny morning when everything was (supposedly) going well? Not good, Enida. Not good at all. Be grateful.
.
Posted in Hurt | Tagged Life | Leave a Comment »
https://www.w3counter.com/tracker.js?id=151113
Questa è Enida 