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Malam simpul jerat,
renda tepi paya;
dalam sampul surat,
ada hati saya.
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Archive for January, 2011
Ada Hati
Posted in Poetry on January 15, 2011| Leave a Comment »
To Drive And Read Between The Lines
Posted in Sense on January 14, 2011| 3 Comments »
This is what my brother, Uteh, posted on our Facebook Family Group Wall yesterday morning:
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Pekaba warga 443?
Uteh Alhamdulillah, dalam situasi penstabilan semula hati dan perasaan yang dilanda trauma. Citernye macam ni….
Isnin baru ni, on the way balik dari sekolah, ada la Viva potong kitorang kot kiri. Dalam hati sempat berkata, hai Viva ni kang… depan tu je kang! Sambil borak-borak dengan KakTeh and Kak Betty (kawan KakTeh), tiba-tiba nampak kereta from the other side remuk giler sambil driver dia dah terlentok. Kereta still berjalan terhoyong -hayang.
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Tak jauh daripada tu di laluan kitorang, depan je sket – Viva tadi dah terperosok ke tepi semak. Driver dah tersepit. Paling menggawatkan suasana, ada baby lingkungan 3-4 tahun atas jalan – kaku tak bergerak. Darah tersembul keluar dari mata yang koyak belah kanan dan kepala yang berlubang (luka dalam) atas daripada mata kanan. Masih bernafas masa Uteh angkat ke tepi jalan.
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Sebelum tu sempat horn panjang right berhenti tepi jalan – takut-takut ada yang melenyek budak tu. Ada Waja offer nak bawak ke hospital, tapi tiba-tiba tak berani bila tengok darah tak henti-henti keluar. Uteh and KakTeh nekad – bawak jugak sendiri. Sebelum masuk pintu kereta, nafas budak tu mendengus – darah memancut lagi dari hidung and kepala. KakTeh riba kat belakang sampai lah ke Mentakab – hospital lama.
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Uteh terketar-ketar pegang steering sepanjang-panjang ke Mentakab. Tu je lah kot dapat citer. Ni pun asyik dok teringat. Nak tidur pun susah. Kakteh ok jek. Ceria dalam gundah macam hubby kesayangan dia jugak.
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My shawl was wet with tears as I had gotten so emotional when telling this story to Bibik on our way to pick up Monchies from school yesterday. Bibik rubbed her arms a few times as she had goosebumps imagining the child lying motionless on the road. I didn’t have to exaggerate the blood part to her as I myself was stuck with the torn eye and holed head details.
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It didn’t take me too long, either, to turn into an extremely cynical witch in the end, thinking of the Viva driver. He must be happy now that he was safe from the traffic police. Great! No tickets, no summons. Selamat lah sudah. Peace and quiet, the end.
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Late last night, cynical, angry, sad, scared and all… I disabled all Facebook Mobile notifications. And this morning, I drove a little slower and had no desire to touch my phone. The whole world could wait. I had heavens in my back seat.
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Soul-ly Mine
Posted in Monchies, tagged Parenting on January 13, 2011| 6 Comments »
Kitreena: Mom, where are you going after this?
Mom: I’m going to make a blood donation.
Kitreena: Blood donation? But why?
Mom: Because it might help people who need it.
Kitreena: Oh you mean like when Grandma needed it?
Mom: Exactly! She got blood help from other people. So it’s my time to help other people’s moms.
Kitreena: But are you going to run out of blood?
Mom: Nohhh! They’re not going to suck my blood dry lah! Besides, my body will make new blood.
Kitreena: Oh! Hehe. How much are they going to take out from you?
Mom: Mmm just about as much as what your water bottle can contain.
Kitreena: Ooooohh! That’s banyak Ma!
Mom: Tak lah, it’s not for drinking. Hey, did you know we can donate organs too? You know what organs are?
Kitreena: Yeah, like kidneys and heart and stuff.
Mom: Smart girl.
Kitreena: But Mom, how are you going to live if you donate all your organs.
Mom: Hehhh! You don’t donate all your organs at once lah oi. That’s not donation. That’s giving up! Hahaha.
Kitreena: *chuckles* Oh you mean you donate your organ one at a time.
Mom: Well, yes. Maybe just one organ when you’re alive. And if you don’t want to do it when you’re alive, you can leave an instruction to your family. You write them a will to let them know you want to donate your organs when you die.
Kitreena: Oh you mean, when you don’t want your organs anymore?
Mom: Well, when you die, you don’t need your organs, no matter how much you want them. You don’t even need your body.
Kitreena: Oh yeah, because you only need your soul. But Mom… *pauses and looks puzzled*
Mom: Hmmm…
Kitreena: What does a soul look like?
Mom: It depends on your kindness.
Kitreena: What do you mean?
Mom: Kind people have beautiful soul.
Kitreena: It doesn’t matter what they look like?
Mom: That’s right, Monch. Doesn’t matter what their body looks like.
Kitreena: *pauses, looks at Mommy and smiles*
Mom: What?
Kitreena: Mom… I think Grandma’s soul is one of the most beautiful souls of all.
Mom: *smiles widely, weeps quietly*
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Keep Bleeding, Luv!
Posted in Sense on January 12, 2011| 5 Comments »
It wasn’t a new year’s bloody resolution or anything. I was just trying to bloody create a new habit of making blood donation annually on my bloody birthday – now that I am back in Malaysia where I bloody speak the languages. So I bloody went to Pusat Darah Negara (The National Blood Center) a day after December 29th, 2010. Didn’t make it in time on THE day as I was bloody busy running away.
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But I was bloody turned away! And the reason being that I just had a bloody immunization shot. Good thing I mentioned it to the doctor who bloody interviewed me prior to him pricking my bloody vein. So I was to bloody come again three weeks after the bloody shot. I got the shot on my Mom’s birthday, December 20th.
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And so today I bloody went again. Guess what? I was bloody turned down again! This time the bloody reason was this:
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But this time, I was told I am not welcomed anymore as I was declared a bloody Permanent Deferral. Yes, I do feel bloody rejected. That’s for sure. But if that’s the way it is, that’s the way it bloody is, I guess. My blood donation is not accepted because I have lived in bloody Europe longer than six months between 1980 and the present. I bloody spent a year in Milan, Italy between 2001 and 2002. I was in bloody Moscow, Russia for a year and a half until July 2010.
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The explanation given by Dr. S Thayani at Pusat Darah Negara was long and bloody reasonable. But for now I just want to learn to accept it without trying too hard to bloody understand it. Maybe someday the ban would be bloody well lifted. Who bloody knows?
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Do I sound bloody perturbed? If I do, I am bloody sorry, Vladivostok!
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After You
Posted in Inside Enida on January 12, 2011| Leave a Comment »
The idea for a very serious entry was steamingly brewing when I was in the shower. Well, what doesn’t steam and brew in the shower for me anyway. That’s where I sing, that’s where I think. And that’s where I do my crying.
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So yeah, the idea for a very serious entry was brewing steamingly hot when I was having my evening shower just now. But that idea, and that entry will have to wait another day.
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I just remembered that I need at least 5 hours of good sleep before I get to do it. And I am going to do it in the morning, the very first thing in the morning after getting Monchies ready for school, and after taking Monchies to school. Yeah, the very first thing in the morning after being a mom.
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So hold me in your dreams in heaven tonight, Mom.
For I am going to do it all for you.
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It is Wednesday.
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And I miss you.
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Pengisytiharan Penting
Posted in Humor, Monchies, tagged Parenting on January 10, 2011| Leave a Comment »
Dengan ini dimaklumkan jadual baru Pusat Didikan Enida Supian-Johnson yang dihadiri khas oleh Kitreena dan Edrick Johnson:
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Sayugia diingatkan, bahawa kegagalan menepati jadual yang ditetapkan akan menyebabkan hukuman spanking mandatory menurut mood dan kestabilan penguatkuasa Pusat. Denda, hukuman dengan pengajaran yang setimpal adalah menurut budibicara Jawatankuasa Agung Pusat yang terdiri daripada Bibik Caskinih Kawi dan Duli Yang Maha Mulia pengasas dan penyimpan mohor Ma’am Besar Pusat Didikan Enida Supian-Johnson, iaitu Madam Enida Supian-Johnson sendiri. Tiada dua, tiada tiga hanyalah baginda Permaisuri sahaja. Ampun Tuanku!
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Or Not To Say
Posted in Sense, Write On on January 10, 2011| 2 Comments »
Sesekali
Posted in Hurt, Write On on January 8, 2011| Leave a Comment »
… Andainya engkau pepohon nan rendang
bawah bayangmu aku menumpang..
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Stand By Me Monchies
Posted in Monchies, tagged Parenting on January 7, 2011| 1 Comment »
It was early morning on Thursday, the first week of school. The kids were sitting in the back seat, the radio was not on. The sun was nowhere even near the horizon, prolonging the darkness much welcomed as it made it feel it was still very early.
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Just about 200 meters after leaving home, Kitreena started humming her ‘Yippee Yai Yai Yippee Yippee Yai’ song. A few seconds after, Edrick followed suit with his Mozart’s tune he played on the piano a week earlier. And the humming went on and on and on for almost halfway the drive to school.
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My heart was so light and easy, I thought I was flying! And I promised myself that I would never ever want to miss any day like that day – for anything in the world. Anything.
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The radio remained on standby for the rest of the ride to school.
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Color Me Red
Posted in Inside Enida, Nostalgia on January 7, 2011| Leave a Comment »
In my younger years, I spent a lot of time alone. Looking at paintings. At Balai Seni Lukis Negara. It was just a few steps away from the central KTMB (train) station, then. I would usually start with the painters’ corner at the Central Market, down to the walk-through gallery at Dayabumi and on to the National Art Gallery. All by myself. All day long. In the weekends.
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I didn’t have many friends back in uni. Even good friends then thought I was too artsy-fartsy to be spending hours looking at painted canvasses. I still don’t have many friends now. But I am proud now to admit that I am still that artsy-fartsy Enida.
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Over the years I have also fallen in love with skin-staining art.
These two pieces by Wahyu Srikaryadi (2009) are simply brilliant!
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I’ll let your eyes speak to your mind now.
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Steady Equilibrium I
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Steady Equilibrium II
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