This is not my way of saying goodbye. What I am leaving is not you. But memories. And all that I have dreamed of. For what we have shared has meant nothing. To you. To me, eventually.
.
Gone is…
love and all its nonsense.
.
.
Archive for the ‘Sense’ Category
A Note Before Leaving
Posted in Hurt, Sense on August 7, 2010| 1 Comment »
Catatan Sebelum Berangkat
Posted in Hurt, Sense on August 7, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Ini bukanlah caraku mengucapkan selamat tinggal. Yang aku tinggalkan bukan dirimu. Tapi kenangan. Dan semua yang aku angankan. Kerana sesungguhnya ini adalah satu perkongsian yang tak menguntungkan. Bagimu. Bagiku, nanti.
.
Yang pergi itu…
adalah cinta dan semua kebodohannya.
.
.
.
Back Me Up
Posted in Sense on August 6, 2010| 1 Comment »
.
The latest lesson I learned…
Sesungguhnya hidup ini, kena ada ‘back up’.
Nah kau, tu dia.
.
.
.
.
I am thanking Emila Yusof for this lesson.
.
.
…Is As Sharp As A Pen Is
Posted in Sense on August 1, 2010| 3 Comments »
It wasn’t very nice of me judging her too quick like that. Afterall, I am about to live a life similar to the one she has led for years. Bad Enida, bad Enida! Oh but she was talking about her friend’s penis! For penises’ sake, just because she doesn’t have one for her pleasure does not mean she should talk about it that way. Well, at least not that frequently.
.
But then again, so what? Freedom of speech, Enida. Geeeeezzz! And just because you don’t talk about penis 24-7 does not mean you don’t think about it. Ohhh! Pleeeeease lah!
.
Anyway, now that I have mentioned the word penis and got your attention, thanks to your sharp eyes… I have to tell you that it has become clear to me that many women in Malaysia are scared of being alone. Not all, not most. But many. Not many are contented staying single at any age whether they are virgin, have been holed by the proverbial squirrels, or at any point in time married to the squirrels who holed them or who wanted to.
.
But that’s that. Many women are simply not happy with themselves being single. Oh yes I do know the loneliness, trust me. But what’s with the quest? Or maybe because I am surrounded by women who are happily single, I tend to not understand why a woman has to have a man. I may be alone, and sometimes lonely. But I am not looking for. I am just having a good time looking at.
.
No, not at anybody’s penis either. Just at these single women on a serious quest for men.
.
When I was staying in a single-room at uni, there was this quote on my softboard…
.
“A woman without a man
is like a fish without a bicycle.”
~ Gloria Steinem
.
.
Home Run
Posted in Sense, Write On on July 31, 2010| 6 Comments »
Ladies and men, all gentle and non…
It is of no secret that I, Questa è Enida, has come back to Kuala Lumpur. And you actually are wondering for how long, aren’t you? Well, let’s wonder together then, as I cannot say it is for good. Neither can I tell you for sure that it is for the next three years. The truth is… I have no clue.
.
What I do have are the answers to these questions:
- Enida, are you all right?
- Enida, are your Monchies with you?
- Enida, are you going to be here for a while?
- Enida, are you going to finish your book?
- Enida, are you setting up a business?
- Enida, are you going back to work here?
- Enida, can I phone you?
- Enida, would you like to go out for coffee or teh tarik some time?
- Enida, are you happy?
.
Yes, you can ask me these questions when you call or when you write to me, if you are curious. Take your time. I am not going anywhere for a while. Not even back to Moscow.
.
I would like to thank those who have asked me the above questions and more. Yes, my father has recovered from lungs and kidneys infection rather well and is now enjoying the sea breeze in Manjung. He seems to really like it there. Must be the military air around town that makes him feel nostalgically alive.
.
Yes I really am back! And I am back for a while. A while, by definition, is longer than the summer holidays. And in my case, a while is longer than the summer and winter holidays put together.
.
Call lah kalau tak percaya! 🙂
.
What Lies Beneath
Posted in Sense, tagged Lesson on July 22, 2010| 3 Comments »
I can handle lies. What I cannot handle is liars trying to convince that their lies are the best truth around.
.
C’mon lah.
.
.
To Sit Me Down
Posted in Sense, tagged Thoughtful on July 19, 2010| 2 Comments »
At this moment, I am sitting still when I should be running in 2912 directions. Or okay… maybe just seven directions. But the point is, I really shouldn’t be sitting still. Life is waiting for me and I should be taking those two remaining steps towards it.
.
But then, I would really like to just sit down with myself right now because there is this question I have been avoiding…
.
“If I find what I cannot have, should I want it?”
.
.
Back At Who?
Posted in Sense, tagged Writing on July 18, 2010| Leave a Comment »
A few sms’s and emails came in this morning asking about my last post Back At Me, the poem. True, I have not written many English poems like this. I must admit, I had fun writing it yesterday! Boy was I really into it… despite the hot summer weather that soaked me in my sweat and Cider! 🙂 But no, it’s not true that this one is about me. Nope, not this time.
.
For once I selflessly write about someone I have gotten to know quite well. And for reasons only known to me and this friend of mine, I see the similarities between myself and his wife. Although, in my case I refuse to just wait and see if my love would come back to me. I have done that. I am waiting no more. I have a life to live and I have so much to give.
.
Hmmm… now that I have given you this clarification, could I please go write some more? 🙂
.
Thank you for reading and thank you for asking. Peace!
.
Backpoking
Posted in Sense, Write On, tagged Facebook on July 15, 2010| 2 Comments »
Within the next few paragraphs, I am going to sound annoyed. And I am going to be very blunt. If you feel poked, great! Maybe the paragraphs are for you. If you feel that you are wrongly accused, go ahead and sulk. See if I entertain moronity.
.
Number one, I like questions but I don’t like them being asked because the questioner is too lazy to look up the answers before asking. I may not have quarter of all the answers laying around in the world. But I, Questa è Enida, at the very least, know where to find them. And most of all, I want to find them first!
.
I don’t speak or write Chinese. That’s a fact. So when I get curious of Jonah Ong’s Facebook status in Mandarin, I copy, paste and translate using Yahoo! Babel text translator. One example.
.
And then if I am not sure if Dubrovnik is the capital of Croatia or Lithuania, I can always Google it with a Giggle. Another example. So now you see why it is very challenging for me to comprehend why you have to ask me where Cha’ah is!
.
Number two, I appreciate friendship as it is, at any levels. You can be my best friend, my close friend, my teman-tapi-mesra friend, my kawan-biasa-biasa-sahaja friend, or remain my Facebook friend. If we were back in the 70’s or early 80’s, our closeness might have upgraded you to be my Abang Angkat, Kakak Angkat, Adik Angkat, Pak Menakan Angkat or Maktok Angkat.
.
But let’s face it. I don’t have time to go through the adoption process to angkat you anywhere okay. The year now is 2010 in case you haven’t noticed and in case you have missed your make-believe shinkansen. I either keep you on my Friends List, or I remove you. Simply.
.
I do understand closeness, intimacy, comfort or whatever you name it between two people in friendship. But you really don’t need to be afraid of my judgement. I don’t give it a dime. You might be the best of friends, holding hands, pecking each other on the neck when you think nobody is looking. But honestly, you don’t need a certificate to prove that you’re not screwing each other.
.
So the term Adik Angkat, Abang Angkat, and Girlfriend Angkat are really not necessary in this new millenium. Not that I want to know what is going on between friends behind closed doors either. I am a big girl (trying to look small). I am not that naive lah, por favor.
.
Number three, I am very comfortable being Enida under my proverbial Moscavado Sugar skin. At times I may come across as that hot beechy girl from the hottest hell rambling endlessly about grammar, spelling, hurt and pain of parenting children and men. But for all you know I have my own bills to pay too. Who says it is easy being brown on a blonde’s land?
.
Just like you, I have stories to tell. Just like you, I hope my books will sell. Now if you could just quit asking me why I deleted you from my Facebook Friends List, I might be able to finish packing. And that is if I could remember what else to pack on my back other than me two Monchies.
.
Uh, excuse me. Where am I going again?
.
.
.
.
On The Road Again
Posted in Sense, tagged Lesson on July 8, 2010| Leave a Comment »
.
.
If happiness was the destination, I would sell my soul to be on the fastest way there. But I learned that happiness is the journey itself. I have to hit the road. And still it buys no souls.
.
.
-
In Her Words…
In Her Thoughts…
In Her Time…
In Her Search…
In Her Count...
- 154,253 hits
In Her Mind…
-
Join 85 other subscribers
-
https://www.w3counter.com/tracker.js?id=151113
Questa è Enida 