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Menangguk di Ayer Keroh

December 13, 2015 by Enida

Driving all the way home from Klebang Besar, Melaka, after sending items for a 6-day booth (event), I went through some thoughts. And some feelings too, honestly.

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Listening to the Monchies’ snore, I actually felt bad that I had to drag them with me on an over 300-kilometer journey like that on a week night. They brought their homework with them and they did try to work on it when we had a drink at a warung. Monchies slept almost all the way up because they were tired from school. And they slept all the way home, because it was simply bedtime.

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I felt bad, though… at some point, that life has taken us on this path. This having-to-pack-the-kids-wherever-I-go path that we’ve been on since Bibik left is sure taking some toll on Monchies’ time and energy. I felt bad that I have not been able to ask people for help in babysitting the kids, and that was because of my trust issue and my I-can-do-it-all syndrome.

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But then again, I would not have done it any other way. I am just an everyday girl, yes. With an everyday life, indeed. And this running-around-selling-tshirts business has put me where I belong, counting my blessings every day with my kids in my car, and in my arms, whenever and wherever I want.

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Ayer Keroh, Ayer Molek, or Ayer Jerneh, we are together. That’s all that matters. These little ones don’t stay little forever.

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Posted in Monchies, Travel | Tagged | 1 Comment »

Over You

September 28, 2015 by Enida

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Apa KES: Siri Pertama

September 3, 2015 by Enida

I am going to start a series of Apa KES today in commemoration of my mother. 🙂

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KES = Kata Emak Saya

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“Biasanya orang yang paling banyak tolong kita masa kita susah itu lah yang selalu kita abaikan masa kita senang. Hutang dia lah yang paling akhir kita bayar.”
~Kata Emak Saya

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[Teringat hutang bil telefon dengan emak sendiri RM400.00 masa tingkatan empat. Walaupun hulur belanja pada emak bila dah bekerja, tak pernah tersebut pulak nak lunas hutang bergayut. Mudah-mudahan emak dah halalkan. Al Fatihah.]

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Posted in Mom, Sense | Tagged | Leave a Comment »

Apa Barang?

September 2, 2015 by Enida

It's not why... it's when..

After staying in a 2-bedroom Amari Apartment for a few days, we have grown to love the smaller space and how often we had to bump into one another. Today, enjoying the last day of kids’ school holiday, I took Kitreena to work. She seemed to be having a lot going through her mind.

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Kitreena: Mom, I like a smaller home than what we have now.

Mommy: Yeah, something like Ambassador’s Row apartment is perfect for us.

Kitreena: Yeah, if we move to a small place like that, I can help you with laundry and cooking.

Mommy: Eh? You can always help me now. Tapi tak tolong pun.

Kitreena: Nooooo! Our house is just too big, I don’t feel like doing it. Plus Bibik wouldn’t let me.

Mommy: But if we move to a smaller place, where do I put my Airwings barang?

Kitreena: Hmmm…

Mommy: Yup, hmmmm…

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We are thinking…

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p.s. Any potential renter for our Mesra place?

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Wrap It Up

August 31, 2015 by Enida

Balut bukumu, anakku...Among the very first things I was taught by my parents when I was in grade one was how to wrap the school books. We could not afford the plastic wrapper, so my parents made do with the brown/grease paper. I didn’t know how lucky I was until I saw some other kids’ book wrapper, which was old newspapers. I still felt bad for many years for not getting plastic wrappers, but I learned to be grateful.

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Today, I finally forced Monchies to start wrapping their own school books, instead of me doing it — Kitreena is already going to grade seven, Edrick to grade five. We got 43 books wrapped under two hours, with me doing most of them, as eye-rollingly expected. I wasn’t overly pleased with the neatness, but I learned to let go.

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Kitreena asked me about my experience wrapping school books during my tender years knowing how strict my dad was. “What if you didn’t get it right, Mom?” It took me a while to answer her. Little did I expect that the question would trigger some bitter-sweet memories.

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I remember how my dad ripped off and crumpled the wrap of one thick Maths text book because I did not do it properly. It wasn’t easy for a little kid to wrap an inch-thick book without any guide, and I remember being angry at my dad. He then showed me how to do it while I was busy holding back my tears. “Wrap it like a gift! You are lucky to get text books, I never had a book when I went to school! I had to borrow and sometimes steal! Wrap it like a gift!” And so, I learned to wrap it like a gift.

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Today, I learned to teach my children to wrap it like a gift, almost like the way my dad did it. Probably a little better… we now have plastic wrappers and I didn’t have to rip or crumple any. I embraced my anger as a child when my book-wrapper was ripped and crumpled in a bitter-sweet lesson to be thankful.

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I learned to love books.
And that, to wrap it up, is the best lesson and gift my dad has given me. Ever!

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Eee Boo!

August 30, 2015 by Enida

Saya tak sambut Hari Ibu.
Kalau sambut pun mungkin hanya dengan meluangkan waktu dengan anak-anak tanpa menjawap telefon selama 12 jam. Atau mungkin melakukan aktiviti di luar rutin. Contohnya Hari Ibu tahun ini saya ke Cold Storage membeli barang dapur bersama Monchies, dan membiarkan mereka memilih makanan bukan-kampung (seperti makanan biasa emak mereka). Antara pilihan anak-anak ialah keju sampai 4 jenis, yoghurt, artichoke, sauerkraut, chorizo, bagel dan ciabatta. Saya dah terbiasa membeli barang dapur di Tesco Online, lupa selera anak-anak yang tak berapa nak hidup dengan gaya kampung saya ini. Anak-anak yang separuh sana, separuh sini.

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In reality, my Mother’s Day this year and the years before was just like any other given Saturday, Sunday or school holiday. It wasn’t so much about celebrating it at a special place with a special cake wishing a special wish. In fact, this year, on Mother’s Day, I sat my kids down for a little talk about rules and discipline. I couldn’t stop being a mother just because I was celebrated. Kitreena needed some serious nudge on punctuality, while Edrick needed some slap on the wrist on homework procrastination. And me, The Mommy, needed to improve our communication. Everybody seemed to be assuming everything these days. So, it was my duty to bring things back in order immediately. So what if it was the Mother’s Day?

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But knowing me yang bukan jenis membebel ni, all I could ask from Monchies was some understanding that I am struggling with this parenting position. It is an extremely tough job. One that I can’t quit (and won’t, even if I could), and it is one that I can’t take a leave from. This year, on Mother’s Day I ended up begging Monchies to help me make it easier by keeping time, as none of us could have that May 10th of 2015 back. No rerun either. There is no way I could put back the clock. As much as I enjoy parenting, I would really like my children to cooperate with me in keeping things in order. Time, especially.

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Today and this long weekend for some reason, it has felt like Mother’s Day all over again when I finally shut down my phone, ignoring many messages and taking no calls. Somehow, my ex-husband’s birthday recently and his absence in the kids’ life has made me realize that I have only been a mother to Monchies and that is not enough. I am now learning to be a better father by engaging in physical activities more than I ever did before.

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Wish me luck on the water slides tomorrow!

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My Balanced Two Wheels

Adelaide, 2007: Two kids, two wheels and now two worlds apart.

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Posted in Mom, Monchies | Tagged | Leave a Comment »

Siri Bercakap Dengan Edrick LI (51)

July 26, 2015 by Enida

Traveling always reminds us of our family trips pre July 2010. When we checked in at Santa Grand East Coast last Thursday, Edrick saw a family at the lobby and as he was waiting patiently, I noticed he was staring at the ‘dad’ of that family.

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In the room, after we settled in, I asked Edrick…

Mommy: Hey Monch, do you miss Daddy?
Edrick: *smiles at me and shrugs his shoulders*
Mommy: It’s okay if you miss Daddy, you know. I miss him too, sometimes.
Edrick: But it is all his fault. He doesn’t wanna be with us.
Mommy: Hey, it’s not his fault, sweetheart. It’s nobody’s fault.
Edrick: I know. I’m sorry.
Mommy: Things happened the way they had to happen.
Edrick: What do you mean?
Mommy: I left, and took you with me so he could be happier and I could be stronger.
Edrick: Mom, if anybody asks me how my Mom is… I’m gonna say she’s amazing!
Mommy: Oh, thank you! Amazing eh? *my heart melts or swells, I could not tell*
Edrick: Yeah! Because she can drive through 5 states and 2 countries in 3 hours!
Mommy: Oh wow me! That’s scary! Hahahahaha!

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My heart swelled and salt-water welled in my eyes. I would travel the world for a love like this. And what Edrick said made me think of a line from a song…

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I believe in angels
something good in everything I see.
I believe in angels
when I know the time is right for me…

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So he could be happier and I, stronger...

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | 3 Comments »

Mahal Mary

July 21, 2015 by Enida

After a good night sleep at The Beverly, we were ready to hit the road again for the fourth house and final visit with my dad’s old friend. On the way down from the third floor, Monchies and I shared the elevator with a couple and their toddler. I wasn’t so much in my friendly mode, but I wasn’t grumpy or anything. I was just quiet. So were Monchies.

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We could hear the couple’s conversation loud and clear…

Wife: Kita tak bagi dia tips sepuluh ringgit lah bang. Dia okay jugak kan?
Hubby: Ha’ah. Tapi dia tu Filipino. Bukan orang sini tu. Filipino tu.
Wife: Oh ye ke.
Hubby: Nama dia Mary ke apa ntah.
Wife: Ohhh nasib baik tak bagi.

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As I was checking out after the couple left, down came Mary with her cheerful smile making some jokes in Mandarin with the cleaning staff and reporting a few things to the Bangladeshi receptionist in Bahasa Malaysia. Mary sure looked a bit different from a typical Malaysian Chinese. Regardless, she was very bubbly and warm.

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It was just too bad that Mary looked like a Filipino.

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And she did not get a ten-ringgit tips because she was supposed to look like a Malaysian? I felt sick to my stomach! Not only from the couple’s body odour that I had to endure in the elevator. But from their prejudice towards others judging only from their look! If I were to judge based on the couple’s smell, they were as good as rubbish.

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If.

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Posted in Malaysiana | Tagged | 1 Comment »

Siri Bercakap Dengan Edrick L

June 9, 2015 by Enida

This is going to be a quick one. I just have to write this down before I forget. Oh, I forget a lot of things these days. I even forget who I am, sometimes.

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And this morning when Kitreena was telling me again about the cheerleading team and how nasty of a quote sent to her by the girl she is co-captaining the team with… I just could not help but mentioning the poster that was shared with me yesterday.

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Prettifying....

Kitreena and Edrick heard it and both went, “Oh my God! Mommm” and they could not stop giggling. Edrick giggled even longer. I knew he was imagining something else.

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Edrick: Can you imagine all the make-up she would have to eat.

Mommy: It is gonna be a paint factory in there.

Edrick: Mom, what if the make-up went all mixed up in her tummy?

Mommy: Hahaha! Yeah, it would definitely be all smudgy inside.

Edrick: That is not gonna be pretty, Mom! Hahahaha.

Kitreena: Edrick! Hahahaa.

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Monchies kept on giggling as they got off the car. And as I glanced at my Go-Bag that carries the Maybelline facial powder and a lipstick, I drove away all smiley this morning. Despite all the wonderful people who should just eat their make-up and try to be pretty on the inside… my life is pretty good, I must say.

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Postlude:
Pardon me about the B word. I don’t use it on anyone, nor do I condone its use by my kids. But sometimes, the B word does make a deep impact. And of course, I love dogs. They bark.

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U-Pimpin & I-Pimpin

June 6, 2015 by Enida

Orang kita ni banyak sangat bercakap pasal pemimpin sebab itu yang disogokkan media. Kalau hal Najib ni terjadi zaman ayah beliau, kita kena tunggu suratkhabar esok baru tau kisah. Mana ada Facebook, Twitter dan suratkhabar online. Sekarang ni, belum lagi jadi apa-apa, satu dunia dah kecoh. Kita pun sudahnya jadi media, sebab wall kita lah yang paling banyak sekali liputan pasal Najib dan Tun M. Macam lah orang nak baca sangat pun. Orang kita mana rajin membaca?

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Apa kata kita pimpin diri kita dulu. Najib nak kata dia darah pahlawan ke, dia nak sembunyi di Gua Niah ke, kita tengokkan saja. Kita bawa diri kita ke arah kebaikan. Kadang-kadang kebaikan itu datang dalam bentuk yang sangat mudah. That is… saying nothing. Tun nak sokong ke, tak nak sokong ke, nak berucap ke, nak mengucap ke, kita tengokkan saja. Kita bawa diri kita ke arah apa yang baik untuk KITA saja dulu.

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Bila pemimpin dan bekas pemimpin sibuk bercakap, kita dengar kan saja. Tak perlu kita pun bercakap sama. Sampai waktu kita sendiri jadi pemimpin nanti… baru kita tau. Masa tu nanti kita buatlah keputusan sama ada nak bercakap ke, nak menyorok ke, nak mengkritik ke. Sehingga itu, kita tengokkan saja. Kita bawa diri kita ke arah kebaikan yang kita tahu. Untuk KITA.

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Cakap banyak pun tak guna. Orang yang sibuk memimpin ke arah kebaikan tak ada masa nak bercakap banyak sepatutnya. With power comes great responsibility. Kita dok bercakap, letak post pongpang-pongpang, chong sana chong sini… mana power nya?

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Baik tunjuk ‘power’ tolong bini kat dapur tumbuk sambal untuk makan tengahari dengan anak-anak sementara cuti umum dan cuti sekolah ni. KITA lah pemimpin mereka. Cakap lebih-lebih, Power Rangers pun dah penat gelakkan kita.

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