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Pain Thing

May 1, 2012 by Enida

No matter how much pain one can contain, it still spills. And you might think this pain is worse than the one you had last. That is just because we human being do not have a good memory of pain. Nothing is more painful than any pain you have to endure right now. Right this very moment.

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Just think of your pain this afternoon if you had any. That pain is gone. The one you’re having now is worse. Or just think of the hurtful words you heard last July. Even those words are on their way to Tamaulipas, Mexico, with your profound goodbye. You’re done with the last pain. You’re not with this one. This one in hand.

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But perhaps you should just relearn that old lesson. When pain doesn’t go away, it’s your turn to leave.

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Send me a postcard from Vladisvostok, will ya?

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Posted in Hurt | Leave a Comment »

Siri Bercakap Dengan Edrick XXXII

April 25, 2012 by Enida

The knock on the door at 6:00am was expected. It has been a five-morning-a-week routine for the past (oh-my!) almost two years. In came my Little Big Man in his yellow and green uniform.

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Edrick: Good morning, Mommy.

Mommy: Good morning, sunny boy.

Edrick: Mommmmm… *he isn’t his usual chirpy-birdie self*

Mommy: What is it Monch?

Edrick: I miss Daaaady. *puts his head on my tummy and hands rubbing his eyes*

Mommy: I know, sweetheart. I am sure Daddy misses you too.

Edrick: Does Daddy have a new husband?

Mommy: I don’t think so, baby. A new wife, maybe. But not a husband.

Edrick: Owww! Owww! I mean, wife! Hehehe I forgot. *“forget” is his excuse for everything these days, especially for mistakes*

Mommy: I know what you mean, baby. But I don’t know the answer.

Edrick: Daddy has a new wife, and is that why he doesn’t love you anymore?

Mommy: I don’t know sweetheart. I can’t tell you what I don’t know, can I?

Edrick: No, you can’t. But why doesn’t he tell you about it?

Mommy: I have no idea why, Monch.

Edrick: You sure don’t know much, huh?

Mommy: Yup, I sure don’t know much more than much. But I do know for sure that Daddy loves you very much.

Edrick: But he doesn’t tell me much.

Mommy: I think it’s time for breakfast, my boy.

Edrick: But I love you very much, Mommy. *rubs his face on my tummy and dries his tears with my pyjamas*

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Edrick went downstairs for his breakfast. I got up and was somehow glad I didn’t know much.

..

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Posted in Monchies | 1 Comment »

Because You’re It

April 24, 2012 by Enida

It was an idea I read many many years ago. In fact, it was one of the very first ideas I read in English. I must have been only eleven or twelve then. A long time ago. Too long to remember, and yet not long enough to forget.

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It was a belief that there is one answer to all WHY questions that cannot be reasoned.

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Like…

  • why do people go to the moon?
  • why do men go to prostitutes?
  • why do kids love junk food?
  • why do people climb the mountains?
  • why do women nag?
  • why do children eat their snot?

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The answer is:

Because they can. And because it’s there.

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Why do people go to the moon? Because they can, and because the moon is there. If the moon isn’t there, no one can go to the moon. Why do men go to prostitutes? Because they can. And because the prostitutes are available even when they are not legal. They are there. Ever so ready. Why do kids love junk food? Because they can. Parents are okay with it. And because the junk food is just there, in the pantry!

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I think you know where I am going with the other three questions.

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And if you ask me why I love you, the answer is, because I can.
Because you are there. Not here.

😦

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Posted in Reading, Sense | Leave a Comment »

Chance Mali Chance

April 18, 2012 by Enida

Selamat pagi, Puan Rrr…Ro… ssl…errr… xhxzvwqtkdg… errr… Enai… errr… Enai… errr… Eni… da… di mana  saya Saiful Abdul Malik daripada TM Telekom ya puan, di mana saya buat panggilan untuk memaklumkan pihak puan di mana puan telah terpilih kerana puan adalah pelanggan setia kami di mana dengan itu kami di TM Telekom berbesar hati untuk memberikan puan mata ganjaran di mana setiap ringgit yang puan bayar sebagai bil produk dan perkhidmatan kami, puan akan menerima satu mata ganjaran di mana mata ganjaran ini puan boleh redeem dengan pelbagai barangan yang TM tawarkan di mana dengan itu juga melayakkan puan untuk menerima satu lagi tawaran dari TM di mana puan akan dilindungi di bawah plan perlindungan di mana plan ini…

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Encik Saiful Abdul Malik meneruskan penjelasan beliau selama hampir setengah jam. Tapi dalam hati, saya sibuk menyanyi lagu ini:

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“Di mana dia anak kambing saya,
anak kambing saya makan rumput di padang;
di mana dia cinta hati saya,
cinta hati saya yang kuat temberang”.

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Posted in Language, Sense, Service | 2 Comments »

I’m All That

April 11, 2012 by Enida

It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours of being at my Dad’s place and I had learned quite a bit more about myself. One thing for sure, I noticed that I feel like a little girl again when I am at my parents’ place. Not sure what it is, but being close to my Dad makes me feel like I have a ‘back-up’. I am a parented parent, so to speak.

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And when I ran into the house upon seeing a tetamu (visitor) pulling in to Dad’s front yard, I puzzled myself! Why did I do that? I am usually a very confident, independent and downright outspoken grown-up woman. But I automatically went back to my old habit of hiding from my parents’ visitors. My sisters and I used to do that a lot. Today, just like those good ole days, I did not come out until Dad’s guest left.

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And somehow, that… whatever that was,
made me feel young again.

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I miss my Mom.

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Posted in Inside Enida, Mom | 1 Comment »

Will Never Be

April 7, 2012 by Enida

“At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone or something, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up, and it’s not like you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.”

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Posted in Hurt, Inside Enida | Leave a Comment »

Sangat

April 4, 2012 by Enida

Sayang…

Mmm…

Rindu Abang tak?

Hah? Rindu?

Ye lah. Abang pergi lama, sayang tak rindu Abang?

Yang sms Abang, yang WhatsApp Abang, Viber lah, Tango lah, Voxer lah tu semua, yang tulis email, tulis kat Facebook Inbox, yang asek berstatus rindu aja kat wall tu, yang tulis kad siap dengan pantun rindu, pantun berjauhan, siap tekup kesan lipstick lagi kat kad tu, yang tidur pakai baju Abang, selimut dengan kain pelikat Abang, peluk bantal Abang, perfume pun pakai perfume Abang, yang sampai Ida tak nak masak lauk kegemaran Abang sebab sedih makan sorang Abang tak ada, yang habis baca 7 buku sebab tak ada Abang nak sembang malam-malam, tak ada dahi, kaki, dan jari nak urut, tak ada idung nak gigit tu… tu Abang rasa bukan rindu ke?

Amboi sayang ni… cakap aja lah, “Rindu sangat, bang.”

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* 😦 nangis terus peluk Abang*

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Posted in Abang | Leave a Comment »

Bapak Engkau

March 31, 2012 by Enida

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Cik: Semekkom. Saya dari kedai motor yang tepon smalam. Ni nak tanya sikit lah pasal akak.

Puan: Wa’alaikumsalam. Ya, okay.

Cik: Akak kenal tak orang ni, Ros… errr… xhxzvwqtkdg… Enda… Supian?

Puan: Ya, kenal. Saya lah orang yang Cik tak pandai baca nama dia tu.

Cik: Ehehe he hee. Betul ke akak ni director company Enda…

Puan: ENIDA.

Cik: Errr… ya. Enda kon… kon…sul…ten…sal… ten…

Puan: E-ni-da-Con-sul-tan-cy-and- Ser-vi-ces.

Cik: Aaaa ya, ya. Enda… kon… kon… sal…

Puan: Ya, betul. Ini syarikat saya sendiri.

Cik: Dah berapa lama kerja dengan syarikat ni ek kak?

Puan: Sejak August 2010.

Cik: Ohhh… aaa… so dah… 2010, 2012… so dua tahun laaaa.

Puan: Ya, satu tahun tujuh bulan.

Cik: Berapa gaji akak ek?

Puan: RM XX sebulan lebih kurang.

Cik: Oh… RM XX eh. Okayyy… satu lagi soalan. Errr… yang Supian tu ayah akak eh?

Puan: Ya, Encik Supian tu ayah saya.

Cik: Dia kerja apa eh?

Puan: Ayah saya pesara tentera.

Cik: Oh pesara tenteraaaa. So dia tak ada buat apa-apa lah eh?

Puan: Tak ada buat apa-apa?

Cik: Ye laaa. Dia tak de kerja lah eh?

Puan: Dia sekarang Trainer dengan beberapa projek sama ada dengan syarikat saya atau syarikat dia sendiri dengan adik saya.

Cik: Tainer?

Puan: Trainer.

Cik: Oh trainer eh.

Puan: Ya, jurulatih.

Cik: Ohhh jurulatih. Jurulatih je lah ya.

Puan: Jurulatih je lah? JE LAH?

Cik: He he he. Tak de laaa…

Puan: Apa yang tak de laaa? Apa maksud cik, ‘jurulatih je lah’ tu? Cik ni sebut gitu seolah-olah merendah-rendahkan kerja ayah saya sebagai jurulatih. Cik tau tak ayah saya jurulatih yang macam mana? Je lah cik cakap ya?

Cik: Eh tak de laaaa. Sorry, sorry, kak.

Puan: Ya, memang patut cakap sorry, cik. Untuk pengetahuan cik, ayah saya ni jurulatih yang melatih pegawai-pegawai, menteri-menteri untuk program di bawah Biro Tatanegara, ya. Umur ayah saya ni 63 tahun, tapi tugas ayah saya ialah membawa peserta program mendaki gunung, meredah hutan, merentas sungai. Itu belum masuk tugas dia memberi ceramah etika dan motivasi lagi. Baik pegawai kerajaan sampailah ke peringkat PLKN. Jurulatih je lah cik kata ya.

Cik: Sorry sorry kak. Saya tepon ayah akak ni, tak dapat-dapat.

Puan: Itu mungkin ayah saya tengah bawak group pergi daki Gunung Senyum lah tu. Dalam hutan atas gunung memang tak ada phone coverage, cik.

Cik: Okay lah kak. Tak pe lah. Mekasih eh.

Puan: Sama-sama, dengan siapa saya bercakap ni ya?

Cik: Nama saya Shiiimaaaahhhhhhhh…

Puan: Ohhh Shiiimaaaahhhhhhhh… Bukan Shimah aja? Kena sebut Shiiimaaaahhhhhhhh… gitu ya?

Cik: Ehe hehe hehe. Tak de la. Ehe hehe hehe. Okay kak, semekkommm.

Puan: Wa’alaikumsalam warahmatullah.

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Saya akan menelefon Shimah semula untuk membawa beliau minum teh tarik atau teh ais di Restoran Bapak, Jalan Kuching, minggu depan. Ni anak bapak jurulatih nak bagi kursus bercakap di telefon sikit. Secara percuma.

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Posted in Language, Write On | 7 Comments »

Best Before, Better After

March 29, 2012 by Enida

The washroom at the chiropractor clinic wasn’t busy the other day being only 9 o’clock in the morning. One of the two rooms was occupied. So was one of the two wash basins outside. Well, I wasn’t going to use the sink, okay. But I couldn’t get in to the unoccupied room. The donna della pulicia was replacing the toilet paper roll. I said my usual good morning to her, and her big smile was enough to make my day.

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“Kak Enida! Eh you are here?”

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Hah?

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“It’s soooo good to see you here! You look good! You look better in person. In real life.”

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Hug hug hug.

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Huh?

“Oh thank you, thank you.”

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“I read your blog everyday!”

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“Aaaaaaaa okay. Oh thank you, thank you.”

(I don’t know why, but I always say thank you twice.)

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Hug hug hug.

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“I am Edlina. I like your writing. I enjoy your blog. I’ve been following it for a while.”

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“Thank you thank you. How long have you been following?”

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“About two years. So you’re here? You work here?”

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“No, I am here for my neck adjustment. Undergoing a little therapy. Yeah, I’ve been back from Moscow since July… August 2010.”

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“I’m here for an interview. Just moved to Shah Alam from Penang. So, kalau Kak Enida nampak a reader from Penang before this, I lah tu.”

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I wished her all the best for her interview that day. Yes, outside the washroom, near the reception area. And we gave each other another hug.

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Now… Edlina didn’t just make my day with that you-look-better-in-real-life statement that day. She made my whole year! I am good until  December 31st, 2012 at least. Until then, let me keep on writing. See if my expiry date pushes further.

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Posted in Reading, Write On | 2 Comments »

Sent-Tenses Sentences

March 27, 2012 by Enida

Edrick committed a serious offense yesterday. He used a bad word! Though I am not going to repeat his sentence here fully, he said to Adam: “You and your family are a bunch of _____ people!” We were on our way home from school when this was reported to me by the officer in-charge, Little Miss Inspector. My jaw dropped to the pedals! I don’t use that word, or that kind of word on anyone. It has no use.

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Using bad words is a serious crime in my house (and in my car)! So I made it a big deal. Perhaps it was a bit bigger than what it should be, but I decided that Edrick had to learn it quickly. And Edrick knew what was coming. So yes, I gave him a hard time even though he had said sorry to Adam.

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I was trying to make a point that he has to manage his temper and that his words are solely his choice. I must have repeated myself more than 20 times, saying: Things you don’t say to yourself, you don’t say to others. I remember the version with Kitreena when she went through a similar phase being: “Only stupid people call others stupid.” Kitreena has long made enemy with the word. She calls it the ‘S’ word — can’t even bring herself to say ‘the S word’ with a voice.

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So Edrick is grounded for the whole week. No TV until Saturday, and no iPod or iPad for this weekend. He cried like there was no tomorrow when I read him the verdict. And now, he is serving his sentence… 20 lines per day for 5 consecutive days.

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | Leave a Comment »

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