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Siri Bercakap Dengan Edrick XXVII

July 11, 2011 by Enida

I was reading him a bedtime story, holding the book with one hand and holding his hand with the other, when he felt my ring.

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Edrick: Mommy, why are you still wearing your wedding band?

Mommy: *feels ‘caught’ in a way and can’t answer*

Edrick: If you are not with any man now, you are not supposed to wear a wedding band.

Mommy: Okay. But I am not wearing it on my ring finger.

Edrick: Yeah. But you’re not with any man anymore.

Mommy: Okay, I’ll take it off. It’s only my engagement ring anyway.

Edrick: But Mom! You are not with any man now.

Mommy: All right, all right! I will take it off!

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An explanation on why I was wearing my engagement ring on my middle finger would have taken too long. It was bed time anyway. Bad time.

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | 1 Comment »

Between Us

July 11, 2011 by Enida

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Whenever we speak to each other,
words are like the breeze
between two tall casuarinas
on a shore.

A bare shore.

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Posted in Poetry, Sense, Write On | Leave a Comment »

Kosong Seperti

July 11, 2011 by Enida

Selalu sangat saya mulakan ayat saya dengan, “Bila awak tak ada…” Jadi kali ini saya tak nak mulakan dengan ayat cliché saya tu. Nanti awak kata saya terlalu senang dibaca, macam buku Tadika Kemas Paya Redan. Begitu mudah dan predictable nya.

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Walaupun saya tak mulakan ayat saya dengan, “Bila awak tak ada…”, yang saya bayangkan ialah ketiadaan awak. Sebab awak memang selalu tak ada. Dan walaupun dah jumpa awak sekejap, bila awak berangkat pergi lagi, jiwa saya mesti akan jadi predictably lonely. Empty macam katil saya.

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Terima kasih for listening to my chuckles dengan hati. Ketawa saya yang berjurai airmata tu hanya awak yang tau. You looked at my smiles tak hanya dengan mata. Awak genggam tangan saya tanda faham penat saya yang tak ada tempat sandaran hati. Awak tau hati saya. Awak tau saya setia. Tapi mungkin hanya awak yang hargai. Dan mungkin apa yang saya nantikan ini tak ada erti. Saya tak tau apa yang saya mau.

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Waktu awak berangkat pergi tak menoleh memandang saya, dalam faham dan dalam terbiasa, airmata saya menitik juga. Kita berdua memang banyak bercerita dan bertanya. Kalau dulu, “Kenapa mesti mencari makna?” Tapi sekarang, apalah ertinya sekadar bertanya.

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Bila awak tak ada, hati saya jadi dingin kuat merajuk berfikir diam.

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Hati saya jadi diam.

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Yeah, what’s the point?

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Posted in Inside Enida | Leave a Comment »

Eleh!

June 29, 2011 by Enida

Eleh!
You tu memang gitu.

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Kejap nak,
kejap tak nak.
Takut I sentuh,
takut I tak sentuh.
Bila I chakap hello,
you mengeluh.
Bila I chakap bye-bye,
you berserabai.

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Sudahlah.
I dah malas.
Tak de masa.
Banyak kerja lain.
Banyak mata lain
yang gian nak
ber-tango
dengan mata I.
Banyak lidah lain
yang hauskan
bibir I.

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Bibir I yang tebal tak tebal,
nipis tak nipis.
Senyum atau chemik,
sentiasa manis.
Bibir yang basah
berginchu merah,
cherah secherah-cherahnya.

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Bayangkan,
seperti yang you pernah bayangkan.
Bibir I, di bibir you.
Bibir I, di telinga you.
Di leher you.
Di dada you.
Di perut you.
Di pusat you.
Di peha you.
Di sana you
dan di situ you.

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Bayangkanlah.
Jangan malu-malu.
Bukan I tak tahu.
Memang you pernah bayangkan dulu.

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Eleh!
You tu memang gitu.
Dah tahu
buat tak tahu.

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by Yasmin Ahmad

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“The only Melayu poem I’ve ever written.” ~Yasmin Ahmad

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I never had the chance to thank you for writing this poem. But you knew that someday I would go through exactly what you did, didn’t you? I can almost imagine your smile. I miss you, Kak Min.

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Posted in Poetry | Leave a Comment »

Yang Mana

June 28, 2011 by Enida

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Banyak galas perkara galas,
galas yang sana dalam sepasu;
Banyak malas perkara malas,
malas yang mana diam membisu?

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Posted in Poetry | Leave a Comment »

Siri Bercakap Dedek-Kaka V

June 28, 2011 by Enida

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Kitreena: Mommy, I’d like to donate this baju to the orphans now. I’ve grown out of it.

Mommy: Sure sure. Good thought, Monch.

Edrick: Mommy, what’s an orphan?

Kitreena: An orphan is someone who doesn’t have…

Mommy: An ophan is a kid that has no…

*Mommy and Kitreena pause to let each other speak first but Edrick butts in*

Edrick: An orphan is a kid that has no baju?

Mommy and Kitreena: Hahahahahahahaha!

Mommy: No, hahaha. An orphan is a kid who has no Mom and Dad.

Edrick: But why does Kitreena want to donate her baju to an orphan?

Kitreena: Because I can’t donate my Mom and Dad, silly!

Edrick: Haaaa haaaaa haaaaa!

Mommy: *sedikit kecil hati *

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | Leave a Comment »

Jauh Sudah

June 27, 2011 by Enida

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Yang basah pipi
yang kering hati.

Yang berair mata
yang berakhir kita.

Baru sekarang
terasa hilang?

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*Enida
June 26, 2011
Pulau Marina

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Posted in Poetry | Leave a Comment »

And This

June 22, 2011 by Enida

For the first twenty minutes my mind just went wordless. All I could feel was just hurt. There was this stabbing pain that I couldn’t tell where it was or where it came from. I just let myself feel it, for some reason. Feel it and not think. If words could be so hurtful, I was just going to let my tears and myself subside in silence.

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And then for the next twenty minutes I just sat there until I realized it was Wednesday. So I got up, lit some candles for Mom and went to bed.

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I have been happy.
And this too shall pass.

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Posted in Sense | 3 Comments »

Kerak Ok

June 15, 2011 by Enida

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Ida.

Mmmm.

Malam ni tak payah lah baca buku. Abang ada citer best ni.

Citer best? Seperti?

Citer dalam kelambu lah sayang.

*letak buku*

Ida ingat tak kawan sekolah Abang yang kawin empat tu.

Oh, yang sama nama dengan Abang tu?

Yesss. Ingat aja Ida ni ye.

Ye lah, yang kawin empat tak ramai. Yang scandal 14 banyak lah. Hah kenapa dia?

Hehe. Betul jugak sayang. Tak, baru ni terbongkar cerita rupanya bini muda dia tu pernah ada scandal dengan another friend of ours!

Hmmmm… ni dah macam citer Nora Elena dah ni bang. So apa yang kelambu nya?

This other friend sudah pigi distribute gambar hangat that girl dekat Yahoo Group!

Oh my God! Jahatnya!

Tapi yang kelakar nya nampak ketiak je yang lebih!

Hahhh? Ketiak? Kenapa ketiak?

Ye lah, asek posing angkat tangan tayang ketiak je.

Lawa ke ketiak dia bang? Hehehe.

Actually quite the opposite.

Oh my God! Yucks! What’s wrong with her ketiak?

The group punya kutuk, panggil this girl Ketiak Berkerak!

Berkerak? Iyyyyeeewww!

Ha’ah berkerak.

*terdiam lama, dahi berkerut*

Can’t imagine?

Macam mana ketiak boleh berkerak bang? Tak boleh bayangkan. Tapi kan, Abang sebut kerak, yang Ida bayangkan apa tau?

Apa sayang?

Kerak bingka ubi kayu.

Hahhh? Ada pulak! Ishhh geli lahhh!

Agaknya tu lah yang sedap tu kot bang. Sampai kawan Abang buat dia bini keempat. Bini lain tak cukup bagi kerak. Kan kalau kita makan bingka ubi tu mesti nak bahagian kerak kan? A must-have. Kerak ketiak that girl sedap kot.

Eeeee!

Eleh, eeeee eeeee konon! Saper punya favorite kerak bingka ubi, citer sikit!

Betul jugak kan. Hehehehehehehehehehe.

Hah, tu sengih ada maksud tu.

Errr, jap… sayang unjukkan phone kat night table tu kat Abang please.

Abang nak call saper ni?

Call Mak. Nak suruh Mak ke Abah gali ubi kayu sikit. Weekend ni kita balik rumah Mak, sayang buat bingka ubi eh?

Eeeee! Abaaannnggg! Nanti Ida terbayang! Iyyyeeewww!

Hahahaha. Kalau sayang tak buat bingka ubi, sayang kena lah kerakkan ketiak. Hahahaha.

*muntah*

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Posted in Abang, Humor | 4 Comments »

Terasa

June 13, 2011 by Enida

She had been a bit emotional lately and anything could trigger her to snap. This time it was her violin teacher. I was called in and we had a little talk. Mr. Rudy has been very gentle and understanding with this favorite student of his. But it was her who needed some extra TLC.

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So I just went in and held her as long as she wanted to be in my arms. And I let her cry without asking why she had to cry. I know, sometimes we just have to.

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“Sweetheart, you know what. We are all humans. And we feel. You’ve seen me cry a river, haven’t you. And you know what, the good news is… it’s perfectly fine. It’s perfectly healthy. But we have to learn to know when to do it. Okay?”

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She just nodded her head that was hidden somewhere on my tummy and in my arms. I felt her and I felt for her.

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Today when I feel like crying another river, you’re not here.

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | 2 Comments »

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