Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Hai Hencem!

I jarang mulakan blog entries I ni dengan perkataan ‘I’. Tapi hari ni ‘I’ nak membebel yang tak ada ertinya. Meh sini…

.

I sangatlah tak larat-larat tengok wanita-wanita meninggalkan komen pada gambar beberapa lelaki di Facebook, dengan komen yang kebanyakannya berbunyi begini:

.

“Hai hemcem…………”

“Hai encemmmm!”

“Oh hencem nya cik abg ni!!!!!”

“Oh abgku yg hencem…………………………………………….”

.

Pada I, memang kelakar. Tak pernah gagal (without fail lah tu), I mesti akan tersengih dan tergelak bila baca komen yang sedemikian. Dan yang kelakarnya ialah, I tengok yang mengomen tu ialah wanita-wanita yang sudah bersuami dan beranak-pinak belaka. Dan mereka jugaklah yang mengepos artikel ‘Dosa-Dosa Facebook’ di Facebook Wall mereka. Tu yang I heran tu, mereka ni baca ke tak artikel tersebut? Apekehal! Muahahahaha.

.

Memanglah I akui ada beberapa lelaki di Facebook I tu yang kacak, segak, tampan dan bergaya. Tapi takkan lah setiap gambar asek komen “Hai hemcem!” je. Move on and say something better already laaa deyy! I rasa lelaki-lelaki itu pun macam dah tau dah apa komen wanita-wanita ini. Tutup mata pun boleh baca.

.

Dan I pun dengan jujur lagi telus nya akui, I pun rasa makin ramai pulak lelaki hemcem yang datang ke Facebook I kebelakangan ini. Diminta lelaki-lelaki ini sila jangan perasan ya. Tapi harapkan rupa je lawa, kalau bercakap asek nak menyebabkan tekak I geli pun tak guna jugak. Macam ada seorang lelaki kacak yang telah I cantas buang dari diari Facebook I tahun lepas. Sikit-sikit nak cakap pasal apa ada dalam baju I, dalam kain I. Eh yellow! Move on, or move out kay!

.

Okaylah I nak pergi menggelakkan diri baca komen “Hai hemcem!” wanita-wanita gersang di Facebook. Muahahahahahahahahaahahahahhahahahahaha! Dengar tak I gelak ni?

.

.

Edrick: What’s that Mom? Chilies?

Mommy: Yep, looks like chilies to me.

Edrick: What are you making with the chilies, Mom?

Mommy: Sambal tumis.

Edrick: Is it going to be spicy?

Mommy: Not overly spicy.

Edrick: I bet it’s gonna be 99 degrees spicy!

Mommy: 99 degrees?

Edrick: Yeah, 99 degrees. If it is 100 degrees you can’t even eat it. Because it’s too spicy, Mom!

Mommy: Oh really? Bring it on!

.

Siapa Pernah?

Siapa pernah dengar lagu ini?

.

.

.

I know for sure the woman in black in the picture memorizes the song.

.

Whatever Cinta Is…

This is my all-time favorite love poem:

.

Sonnet 17

.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

.

in which there is no ‘I’ or ‘You’;
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand
so close that when you fall asleep it is my eyes that close.

.

by Pablo Neruda

.

.

.

Kitreena had left for school, leaving Edrick at the breakfast table chewing on the peanut butter and Nutella sandwich very very quietly, for once. I was in the kitchen, wiping the sink, enjoying the rare silence.

.

Edrick: Mommy, munchkins live on the Munchkin Land, right?

Mommy: Huh? Who? *is lost in the TakMungkin Land

Edrick: Munchkiiiinnns. Those munchkiiinnns. They live on the Munchkin Land. Correct? *sounds irritated

Mommy: I suppose. Yeah.

Edrick: Because they are munchkins, they must be from Munchkin Land.

Mommy: If you say so. Okay. Is that where you are from?

Edrick:  Nope. I live in this old planet Earth now Mom.

Mommy: This old planet Earth huh?

Edrick: I mean, that’s where I came from. But I am on a different planet now.

Mommy: Oh wow! Isn’t that brilliant!

Edrick: Yeah, and I know how to go to the Munchkin Land Planet from Earth, Mom.

Mommy: You do? *is honestly amazed

Edrick: Yeah. First I need to get out of the Russian outer space. And then I need to launch my rocket to Munchkin Land Planet.

Mommy: I just lost you there, Monchy. Sorry, I am not following.

Edrick: Huh?

Mommy: Yeah, your turn to say huh! That’s right.

Edrick: But I’m still your Monchy, Mom.

Mommy: Then you’d better stick to the Russian outer space where I can see you. Drink your milk now, space man!

.

.

Caffenidated

Judging from the incident, I must have accidentally missed my morning coffee. It was shortly after 4pm and I was waiting for Kitreena to come home from her roller-blading after-school activity. There was a little drizzle just enough to give the wet look to the grass and my lips. And the temperature was around 16°C.

.

I grabbed my Nespresso mug and ran through the rows of capsules  trying to pick one to sip on, on this nice and cool wet afternoon, hubbylessly. As I was drawn to Volluto Lungo, I ran through a row of pictures in my mind. Those Teh Tarik’s, those Teh Ais’s, those Milo ‘O’ Kaw Suam’s, and those Hot Barley’s. And then of course, those of mee goreng Mamak Mata Kelabu Jalan Ampang. He’s got the eye of a tiger. The mamak.

.

The next thing I knew the coffee was pressing and the aroma was much stronger than my usual Volutto Lungo. Hmmm? It was when I put my wet lips to my Nespresso mug that I realized I had accidentally put a big scoop of Nescafe Gold into my Nespresso Volutto Lungo coffee! What the Halle Berry!

.

So Chin and Lish… if this entry sounds a bit too dark for you; what’s with the Mamak Mata Kelabu Mr. Alamanda me growls and me purrs, and what’s with the wet lips. Just excuse me.  Or better yet, just dismiss me, will ya? I’ve been drugged by Aphrodite a bit too much for my own good.

.

Cinta Lama

.

.

Bila memandang gambarmu
hatiku rasa terharu
senyuman dibibirmu
menawan kalbu

Mengapa hanya bayangan
tak sanggup berjauhan
andainya kita bersua
betapa mesra…

.

Much of Me

Much of the things I know, I cannot see. As much of the things I can see, I know not their truth. So, this far… I have chosen to listen to my heart. Faith, they say, is always blind.

.

Just like that one September morning when I woke up to the silently screaming voices telling me to go home to Mom. I just listened. The way a good child did, though as a child I never did listen. But this time I did go home to Mom… only to find out that I was to spend the last ten days of my life before I became motherless.

.

For the two happy and healthy Monchies I treasure…
Happy Mother’s Day to me.

.

.

Readability

Over the years I thought it was just a thought. And I thought it was just my little wishful thinking wishing for some special talent I wished I had. But over the years I realized that I have not been wrong about pictures I have consciously read.

.

I am no fortune teller. Heavens no! I cannot tell who’s going to hell and who’s not going to heaven. But I can kinda tell who is in limbo.

.

.

I have not been doing as much reading as I would like to lately. And yet I read too much.  I think it’s time to start writing again.

.

Kitreena lost her lunch box on Monday. It was a breaking news in our house, as one does not lose one’s lunch box or it will be the talk of the century. Kitreena is only in Grade One and this is her second lunch box lost.

.

Edrick: How come you lost your lunch box, Kaka?

Kitreena: I didn’t lose it. I just couldn’t see it in my locker at school.

Edrick: But you didn’t bring it home. So you lost it.

Kitreena: Oh stop teasing me. Someday you will lose your lunch box too!

Edrick: No I won’t!

Kitreena: Yes you will. I just know it!

Edrick: No I won’t!

Kitreena: Yes you will. We’ll see!

Edrick: No I won’t. We’ll see!

Kitreena: Yes you will.

Mommy: Ehhhh sudahhh! Siapa yang ilang lunch box agik, kelak kubungkus lunch nya with daun pisang, understand? (Who loses the lunch box next will have his/her lunch wrapped with banana leaf, understand?) *will have to find banana seeds asap*

.