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Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Hard Done By

Posted in Hurt, tagged on November 16, 2009| 3 Comments »

Cold cold heart hard done by you...It’s the weather, I figured.
That fifth day I was here, that 23rd day of April… the weather was exactly like today. It is the weather. The weather that came with the news that love is sometimes not worth keeping, not worth forgiving, not worth giving. Such cold news that froze my heart harder than the oldest iceberg.

 

And today, if I could turn colder than the coldest snow, I would freeze all the warm thoughts and all my kind words, only to tell you my cold truth that love and all its hardened meaning has melted. Away. My seasonless love is no more waiting for the summer’s sun, nor it is fond of the firewood smoke kissing the snowflakes that fall on our chimney.

 

My love has gone weatherless on a day like today. And on every today, for the many todays to come. I have turned too cold to feel.

 

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Demi Masa

Posted in Sense, tagged , on September 9, 2009| Leave a Comment »

By the way, my life does not… I repeat, does not revolve around Facebook nor does it focus on what people mistakenly think I was talking about. But then go ahead and judge me anyway. One is entitled to his view.

 

This much I can tell… that if my life revolved around Facebook and what headlong shoot-first-ask-questions-later comments some people left on my blog, I would not have enough heart, love, time, energy and effort for:

 

  • me Monchies,
  • my dying Mom,
  • my missing-in-no-action father,
  • my just-married-and-just-divorced brother,
  • my other quitting-12th-grader sibling,
  • my IWC meetings,
  • my every-Tuesday-afternoon Girl Scouts volunteer activities,
  • my being discriminated-against-because-I’m-an-Asian Moscow life,
  • my new T-scooter,
  • my novel, (yes Chin… I am writing!)
  • my proofreading job,
  • my 140-acre-farmland-or-a-campervan discussions,
  • my walks,
  • my packing-pre-loved-toys-for-unfortunate-kids-in-Siberia project,
  • and oh my reading.

 

I am still reading 3 books at a time these days.

 

Berjalan di hutan cemara, langkahku terasa kecil dan lelah...So you see, by the time I have time to defend my country in a war against some neighboring country, it would already be 31st of August 2020, and I would probably be in Kecamatan Juntinyuat anyway, busy saving Bibik from the rising sea levels due to global warming.

 

So I’ll pick my battle when I know I’m winning only  for humanity’s sake. Until then, I’ll just stay away from squeezed-out toothpaste.

 

Peace!

 

 

 

 

Glossary for Neil:
demi = for the sake of
masa = time

 

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Post-Decisional Justification

Posted in Sense, tagged , on June 28, 2009| 1 Comment »

Post-decisional Justification:
Right after making a choice people tend to value what they chose more, and value what they did not choose less.

 

Over three months ago I met up with a friend whom I had not seen nor spoken to since 1996. Simply because we lost touch with each other. After a roti canai-teh tarik breakfast, a summary of 1996-2006 life all in 3 breaths… I chose to tell her my post-2006 life, including my August 2008-February 2009 life.

 

Just as I turned around walking towards my car parked under the scorching sun, I started wondering why I told her as much as I told her. I never finished that wondering process until recently. All I have, as a matter of stating the painfully obvious, is one life. I have lived it in a way that no clocks can ever put yesterday back into tomorrow.

 

So I told stories the way they happened. I still do. After all, honesty is still the best (and easiest to maintain) policy! When I told her the stories of my pain with a smile, I knew what I had long gained. With every single grey strand of hair I now have on my head, and every wrinkly line on my face… I know I am justified.

 

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